Like many aspiring comic artists, I too always thought of The New Yorker as the holy grail of single-panel cartoons. I'd love to appear in it one day, but if I'm totally honest; I never figured out how to apply. Before I go further into the silliness, a note on style: these comics are all made on an iPad Pro (bought refurbished in early 2020), with a first-generation pen and using Procreate. The font is Baskerville italicized, which I really like using.
#1 I Actually Have No Idea Why This Hilarious One Wasn't Accepted
oh, yeah, I didn't send it in.
13points
#2 Anthropomorphise Odd Things
The world wasn't ready for this hilarious cider pun.
7points
#3 Remind People Of Their Impending Doom
Nobody likes to think about death and destruction... haven't you watched Don't Look Up?
7points
#4 Risqué Jokes
Always remember that children might be watching over their parents' shoulders as they read the magazine over morning coffee.
7points
#5 Make French Puns
French is no longer the lingua franca, and nobody thinks you're cool making puns that involve languages that aren't English. Check yourself before you rex yourself.
5points
#6 Never Learn How To Draw Hands
Seriously, these hands are terrible.
4points
#7 Submit Something Johnny Depp Related
Tim Burton is cool, though.
4points
#8 Never Learn How To Draw
notice that there are no hands in this painting. I guess I kinda phoned it in.
4points
#9 Draw With Color
Have you ever seen a New Yorker cartoon with color???... so have I, but still, better to use the standard black and white style.
3points
#10 Break With The Traditional Style
Face it, you're no Liana Finck, and if you want to get rejected from The New Yorker Cartoon section all you have to do is act like you are.
3points
#11 Never Actually Submit A Cartoon
One thing that people get wrong about not getting a cartoon published in The New Yorker is that they send in their cartoon. If you don't send it in, you are reducing your chances of it getting accepted by 95.7%, recent studies have shown.
1point
#12 Make Nerdy Pop Culture References
People don't like being reminded about how little they know and remember about pop culture, so if you want to really get rejected, make a joke that only Tolkien-geeks would get.
(and yes, I know, they didn't fly to avoid detection, don't @ me).
(and yes, I know, they didn't fly to avoid detection, don't @ me).
1point
#13 Make Timely Jokes That Won't Be Clear In Half A Year
Jokes about prompts, AI art, and ChatGPT are all great ways of making your comics feel outdated in half a year when our robot friends who love us take over the planet.
1point
#14 Confuse The New York Times With The New Yorker
There is nothing The New Yorker like less than being reminded that they are not as wealthy or successful as the New York Times. (I actually never met anyone from both publications, maybe they simply love the confusion).
0points