Cheating Ex-Fiancé Won't Pay For The Canceled Wedding Costs, So Woman Decides To Sell His Family Heirloom

Cheating is probably one of the biggest relationship killers. More often than not, finding out that the love of your life was disloyal to you causes a whirlwind of emotions and an aching heart. And it’s especially difficult when it leaves you with a canceled wedding and a considerable amount of debt.

One woman took her story to Reddit, confessing she found out that her fiancé was having an affair just a few weeks before tying the knot. Having to call off the venue, catering, and other services (which were mostly non-refundable), the author found herself $20,000 out of pocket.

“It isn’t my problem you took out a loan you can’t pay back,” her former partner said, not planning to help her out. The woman turned to the AITA community to ask if she was in the wrong for selling her ex’s great-grandmother’s ring—a family heirloom—to cover the costs of their canceled wedding. Read on for the full story.

Bored Panda reached out to the author of this post, user ISoldAFamilyHeirloom, whose real name is Regina, to talk a bit more about this situation and the reaction it received. Regina decided to share her story online because she felt really bad and wanted to get an outside opinion, so she sought Reddit’s AITA forum.

“When I first posted the story, I was hoping I would be able to get at least one or two comments that would tell me it straight, so I was surprised to get so much attention from it,” the author said.

Regina thought that the thread got so much attention because of Mason’s behavior: “Many were surprised that he ignored my initial threats of selling it then got angry when I actually did it. A lot of people’s comments were negative towards him and I feel like it was his erratic behavior that made the post blow up.”

The author revealed that she was in complete shock when she read the comments: “After all the hate I got from my family, I was sure the comments would be ripping me to shreds, so I was relieved when I got voted NTA. I convinced myself that I was an awful person for doing it and was being selfish trying to clear my own debts. So I’m incredibly grateful for everyone who has shown support.”

Regina would still like to add that despite the outpouring of support, she still feels awful about selling the ring. “If I could go back and change it, I would’ve waited longer before doing something so extreme. After contacting the website ample times, Mason’s been unable to get the ring back and we don’t think he’s going to see it again,” she told Bored Panda.

So while some Redditors commented that the author is NTA, saying that “if you don’t want to lose a valuable family heirloom, don’t give it to someone and then cheat on them.” Others really couldn’t decide, thinking that both partners were at fault here. However, many of them were truly concerned about the legality of it all.

According to FindLaw, the world’s leading provider of online legal information for consumers and small businesses, there are generally three ways that courts can classify engagement rings. The first would be to see it as an outright gift that cannot be recovered.

For that, there needs to be proof of the giver’s intent to give the item as a gift, the actual giving process, and the receiver’s acceptance of the ring. “In most cases involving revoked gifts (where all three requirements were shown), courts have held that the item involved was a gift, and the receiver got to keep the item,” they stated.

Then there’s treating the ring as a conditional gift that is based on a future event or action taking place. “If the event doesn’t occur, then the gift-giver has the right to get the gift back. Most courts classify engagement rings as a conditional gift and award the engagement ring to the giver in broken engagement cases.”

Lastly, there are times when an engagement ring can qualify as compensation. “For example, in one case, a woman had given her fiancé money and even labor to improve his business. In exchange for her money and labor, he gave her a valuable diamond ring and proposed marriage.” In such a situation, the court could award the ring to the receiver.

When it comes to family heirlooms, they are much more than just pretty knick-knacks. Giving back anything that holds special sentimental value is generally the right thing to do. However, the situation varies from couple to couple. It’s is not always crystal clear who is the lawful owner of the gift, and then there are different approaches by the courts.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, you could try meeting with a family law attorney for advice or if you want to see a state-by-state breakdown of who gets to keep the ring, you can find it right here.