50 Most Wholesome Couple Posts That Made People Believe In Relationships Again

To find out what lifelong healthy relationships have in common and what we could all learn from them, Bored Panda reached out to Lise Deguire, a clinical psychologist and author of “Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience From a Burn Survivor.”

“Maintaining a lifelong healthy and loving relationship takes time, effort, and commitment,” the psychologist stated and continued: “Most relationships start off in the halo of romantic love, in which their partner is gorgeous, perfect, and never does anything wrong. But romantic love is just a phase, and it passes over time (usually 6 months to 3 years after moving in together).”

Lise explained that as soon as romantic love has passed, “the real couple's work begins. People need to learn to be good listeners, to be empathetic toward their partners, to lessen their own emotional reactivity, and to be respectful, even during times of disagreement.”

“All this takes a lot of work, and frankly, most people were never taught how to be a good communicator.” In fact, “many couples would benefit from seeing a certified marriage therapist, to provide coaching, help and support,” Lise said.

When asked about the concept of “true love,” which is so widely popularized by TV and media, Lise said that the whole concept of it is really nothing but “a holdover from the romantic love phase, discussed above.”

“Surely there are people that are naturally great partners for us, people who share our values, who make us laugh, who are attractive to us. But there is probably more than one person in the whole world with whom you can be happy. And again, romantic love is a blissful time, but it truly is just the beginning phase of a lifelong commitment,” the clinical psychologist and award-winning book author concluded.