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To find out more about why exactly some people tend to be more judgmental than others, we reached out to Dr. Lise Deguire, clinical psychologist and author of a multiple award-winning book “Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience From a Burn Survivor.”
“In my clinical experience, the people who are most judgmental towards others are secretly the most harshly judgmental towards themselves. Inside, these people are highly self-critical. It is no wonder, then, that they treat others the same way they treat themselves, critically and harshly. Frequently, when these people learn to be more loving and accepting towards themselves, they also become more tolerant and sympathetic towards others,” Dr. Lise explained.
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The clinical psychologist explained that people's judgment and criticism of us feels terrible, sometimes even devastating. “When this happens, the first thing to do is to notice your own pain and distress and to treat yourself kindly. It hurts, plain and simple. Having compassion for your pain will help you bear it.”
“Once you have recovered from the hurt of being judged, it is good to remember that anyone judging you that harshly is probably in a lot of pain themselves,” Lise said and added that awareness may help you to move beyond the hurt of the moment.
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