#1
Every time I found someone I thought I could be friends with, I latched on with an iron grip & that person would become my “obsession” of the moment (yes, I can use that word now, even as ashamed as I am of it). I spent years trying to overcome this part of myself and deep down inside, I know the tendencies are still there, thus the reason why I now choose to remain aloof from all but a chosen few people. I never want to get that way with anyone ever again.
I look back now and cringe hard at what I put people through growing up. I realize now it was undiagnosed ASD & abandonment/attachment issues from never quite fitting in, being excluded from my peers and moving around a lot.
#2
#3
Im fat af now. Definitely won't enforce that with my kids.
As you scroll through the list, you might even find that the truth behind some of these "harmless habits" is actually quite sad. To better understand why we realize these red flags as adults, Bored Panda interviewed Divya Ahire, a psychotherapist who runs a private practice and offers therapy sessions under supervision. She said, "I think a lot of us only start to understand our childhood when we’re much older."
"When we’re kids, we don’t always have the words to explain what we’re feeling. So we act it out. Maybe we’re always busy, always quiet, always performing. At the time, it just feels normal. But later, when we’ve done some healing or had space to reflect, we might realize those "habits" were actually us trying to cope with something difficult," Divya elaborated.
She also believes that sometimes, it takes therapy, or becoming a parent, or even just watching a movie that hits a little too close to home, to start piecing things together. According to her, that moment of realization can be a little painful, but also really powerful, as it shows us how much we’ve been carrying, often silently.
#4
It developed into hyper independence which has had its impact on my relationships. Hard to trust someone who keeps one foot out the door.
#5
I try to make it a point to go after my kids and talk to them when they're upset (after letting them cool down if needed), instead of ignoring them in their rooms and assuming everything is fine when they finally emerge later.
#6
When we asked Divya whether such habits during childhood actually point to deeper emotional or psychological struggles, she said yes and that it happens more often than we think.
She stressed, "Children rarely say I feel anxious or I feel lonely. Instead, they might spin in circles for hours, mimic others obsessively, or retreat into their own world. It can look like play. It can even make adults smile. But sometimes, it’s a sign that a child is trying to make sense of something confusing or overwhelming."
However, that doesn’t mean every unusual behavior is a cause for concern, as kids are wonderfully weird and imaginative, she added. Divya believes that when we start to notice patterns or when a behavior starts interfering with a child’s ability to connect or feel safe, that’s when it’s worth pausing and gently exploring what’s really going on underneath.
#7
#8
#9
I know that in the 80s we weren’t commonly talking about hyper vigilance but d**n, no one wondered why I as a child didn’t feel safe falling asleep unless I thought the adults were asleep too?
Divya also informed us that context, such as home environment or family dynamics, is everything when interpreting these so-called “harmless” behaviors displayed by children. She claimed that a child’s behavior is never just about them, as it reflects the world they’re growing up in.
She narrated that their relationships, their safety, their sense of belonging, and the way emotions are handled around them—all of that shows up in how they behave, play, and respond.
"So when a child starts withdrawing, acting out, or developing intense routines, it’s not helpful to ask What’s wrong with this child. Better questions might be: What’s happening around this child, What are they adapting to, or What are they trying to survive. When we hold that kind of compassion, we’re much more likely to respond in ways that are supportive rather than shaming," Divya narrated.
#10
#11
It was small things like stickers and shiny objects and stuff. I realised it was bad when I decided to steal my roommates heels. I felt really bad and I kept it back in it's place.
I got therapy and worked on it and thankfully, I've stopped now.
#12
Luckily I was oddly smart and self aware as a teen and saw it was getting out of hand so I made myself stop. As an adult I had to stop reading g a book series as one of the characters did the same and I started to slip back into it.
I have done other compulsive behaviours as well. I am currently going through autism diagnosis process.
We also conversed with Divya about whether awareness around childhood mental health has improved in recent years to help catch these early red flags more effectively. She mentioned that yes, it has, and that gives her hope.
"I see more parents open to learning, more teachers tuned in to emotions, and more social media accounts talking about nervous systems, boundaries, and inner child work. These conversations would’ve been unheard of not too long ago. But at the same time, not everyone has the same access to this awareness," she added.
She noted that some families are dealing with daily survival, some are silenced by stigma, and many don’t have mental health resources nearby. "Awareness is growing, which is amazing, but the real change will come when support becomes more inclusive and easier to reach. Because every child deserves to feel seen, safe, and supported. No matter where they’re growing up," Divya concluded.
#13
My parents forgot to feed us kids a few times when I was 9-11 (we were always at least middle class, they just neglected us because of a side business). When I was 10, my mom put the entire family on an extremely restrictive diet because she definitely has an undiagnosed ED, and kept telling us that anyone who doesn’t eat like us will die.
Turns out, she forced me to have an ED. I got a diagnosis and am recovering now, in my late 20s. She’s still in denial about hers.
#14
#15
It’s nice to have friends now. The stress of my lies being found out was a huge burden on every part of my life, it’s really good to be free from it.
Well, that was definitely eye-opening insight from our expert, wasn't it? I bet the next time you catch some kid involved in such a "harmless" habit, it might do good to reflect on what's really happening with the child. That's it from our end for now, dear readers, but do tell us if you were able to relate to any of these. Also, don't hesitate to share your habits with us in the comments!
#16
I didn't realize how much I was running off of the validation of other people. when I saw it, I embarked on the famous self-love journey and now I feel so much better about myself.
edit: spelling.
#17
#18
#19
Years later, I found out that ice cravings can be a sign of iron deficiency anemia
(At that point I was already getting more iron in my diet because my doctor found that I had low iron in a blood test while I was getting a cardiac catheter).
#20
