Relationships are never a walk in the park. They demand patience, compromise, and sometimes, a level of forgiveness that tests your limits. And we’re not talking about the little stuff, forgetting to turn off the lights or skipping the grocery list. We mean the big, heart-wrenching stuff.
When someone online asked, “What’s the hardest thing you ever forgave your partner for, and how did the relationship turn out afterward?” people didn’t hold back. From cheating to lying to moments that shook the foundation of trust, the answers are raw, emotional, and eye-opening. Keep reading to see how couples navigated the toughest tests of their love.
#21
My ex-boyfriend and I worked together for a summer, I found out a month after we both left the job he cheated on me with our boss while we were still working there, didn’t use protection with either of us, and potentially had s*x with both of us on the same day. I forgave him, to find out later he had cheated on me a few weeks after the first time with his ex. Later found out he was cheating on me again, and had told all three of these women he was going to dump me for them. We’ve been done for good for over a year now and I’ve never been happier with my life.
6points
That said, forgiveness isn’t without its potential pitfalls. While forgiving can be incredibly positive, researchers have found that it can sometimes backfire. When forgiveness removes the natural consequences of harmful behavior, it may inadvertently allow a partner to repeat the same mistakes. If someone offends repeatedly and there’s no accountability, forgiveness without boundaries can enable bad behavior. It’s important to forgive while still holding your partner accountable to prevent history from repeating itself.
#22
Not me but my parents. My dad cheated on my mom with the neighbor when she was pregnant with me (22 years ago). She says she only forgave him because of her kids, at the time, she was a stay at home mom and she didn’t have a way to support us by herself yet.
My dad was genuinely sorry for what he did and he’s spent every day since trying to make it up to her. My parents are still together and they have given us a great example of what marriage should be. Even with the bumps in the road.
Speaking on it now, my mom says she doesn’t regret staying with him and if she could turn back the clock, she really isn’t sure if she’d actually leave. But she learned a good lesson: never rely on your SO financially 100%. You never know what could happen and if you ever need to leave, it’ll be 10x harder if you can’t support yourself.
My dad was genuinely sorry for what he did and he’s spent every day since trying to make it up to her. My parents are still together and they have given us a great example of what marriage should be. Even with the bumps in the road.
Speaking on it now, my mom says she doesn’t regret staying with him and if she could turn back the clock, she really isn’t sure if she’d actually leave. But she learned a good lesson: never rely on your SO financially 100%. You never know what could happen and if you ever need to leave, it’ll be 10x harder if you can’t support yourself.
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6points
#23
We're getting divorced. I found him on tinder and on Reddit talking to other women. There's a lot more to the story so if you want that you'll have to message me lol. I should have left months before I did.
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5points
#24
My ex husband cheated.
Also other big things.
I forgave over and over and over, because I was told that he could not help it because of his brain injury and his combat ptsd.
I never should have. I should have run the moment I found out about the first thing.
Also other big things.
I forgave over and over and over, because I was told that he could not help it because of his brain injury and his combat ptsd.
I never should have. I should have run the moment I found out about the first thing.
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5points
In short, forgiveness is a powerful tool in relationships, but it’s a balance. True forgiveness allows you to let go of resentment, reduce stress, and reconnect emotionally, while also encouraging accountability and personal responsibility. Done well, it strengthens relationships and provides space for growth and understanding. Done carelessly, it can allow patterns of behavior to continue unchecked. The key is to forgive intentionally, with awareness, and a focus on building a healthier, happier connection together.
#25
I stayed with my boyfriend of 2.5 years after he relapsed on alcohol (4 years sober) and lost his job, ran up out credit cards all as a result. The betrayal felt overwhelming but I also saw how much he had been struggling mentally and emotionally. I helped and supported him through that and we have been together for a year on the other side. Some days I go back to that resentful and mistrusting hurt person but through the process we both found a Higher Power and gaining that honestly felt worth the pain of everything that happened. We are more honest, open, and in touch with each other now because we know what happens when we neglect each other like that.
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5points
#26
My bf at the time just CHEATED. Anything and everything that moved. I guess it made him feel good about himself. I tried to leave and he cried and begged and made excuses, deleted his fb etc tried to show me he would change. I stayed, the relationship was volatile because I was so jealous and paranoid. He ended up leaving me for a girl he met literally a few days after he met her. Honestly even if they never cheat again, unless you can actually forgive and move on it's not worth anyone's time to stay. It's never the same.
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5points
#27
I was in a relationship for a year and my (ex) boyfriend cheated on me with a girl at work more than once. He didn’t even really apologize, but I took him back and dated him for another year. Big mistake because I saw him talking to other girls on a dating site which I forgave again. We finally broke up for good and the second we did, he started dating a girl at his new job. Everyone messes up, but it depends on how big the mess up is and you need to think about if it’s really worth it. It always seems like it’s the end of the world to break up, but now I’m engaged to my loving fiancé. Stand your ground and know your worth.
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5points
These posts highlight how, sometimes, being the bigger person and choosing to forgive can save or strengthen a relationship. In some cases, forgiveness led to deeper connection and beautiful outcomes, while in others, it wasn’t enough to keep the relationship intact. It really makes you think about the power and limits of forgiveness. Have you ever forgiven something your partner said or did? How did it turn out for you?
#28
After being married for a couple of months I found out my ex-husband hadn't been paying child support. All the money we had been "budgeting" was him just spending it and not sending it to his ex.
It all came out when he was sponsoring me for residency and he told the immigration lawyer in front of me. I could not believe it. Thankfully his ex was a SAINT and signed paperwork to forgive the debt. She is an incredible human. I should've known then that he wasn't a good guy.
Divorced five years later but hey, at least I got permanent residency from it.
It all came out when he was sponsoring me for residency and he told the immigration lawyer in front of me. I could not believe it. Thankfully his ex was a SAINT and signed paperwork to forgive the debt. She is an incredible human. I should've known then that he wasn't a good guy.
Divorced five years later but hey, at least I got permanent residency from it.
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5points
#29
Ex boyfriend tried to sell a stolen car and got caught. Told me he'd gone to court, whole thing was wrapped up. Turns out he missed a court date, never followed up with it, there was a bench warrant out for his arrest and he got nabbed at a traffic stop one Friday night. Had to spend the weekend in jail before I bailed his a*s out.
We stayed together for maybe another 4-5 months after that, and a miserable few months it was. I never really forgave him. It was a dumb f*****g thing to do. But I learned a lot about what I will and won't accept in the future.
We stayed together for maybe another 4-5 months after that, and a miserable few months it was. I never really forgave him. It was a dumb f*****g thing to do. But I learned a lot about what I will and won't accept in the future.
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5points
#30
This is going to sound strange but I forgive/accepted him for not EVER saying he’s sorry about anything. If he’s wrong 😑 and knows it, he will be quiet and isolate himself for the rest of the day. In the morning will be extra nice/remorseful through his actions but the words “I am sorry” will never leave his lips. This is only when we are having larger arguments and those are few and far between.
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5points
#31
We used to fight bitterly. Small things would boil over and become very messy very quickly because we weren't communicating well.
It came to a head about 18 months ago when he slam my laptop shut and out of my lap, which actually broke it, and then pinned me to the bed and shouted in my face.
Now, I will preface this by saying that while I know that domestic violence isn't just the act of actually hitting/hurt someone, he didn't hurt me and I have thrown plenty of his stuff around over the years. Neither of us is innocent and my actions don't excuse his actions, vice versa.
We split up for a while, he went to therapy (something I asked him to do repeatedly over the years but he'd never do), went on medication for depression and started going to the gym, which gave him a healthy outlet for some of his frustration.
I continued with the therapy I'd been in for several years and talked through my own problems.
Eventually, we got back together. Things are not perfect but they are much better now. We got married earlier this year (we had been together 8 years already) and we communicate much better now. Small frustrations are less likely to explode into ugly fights.
The dog is much happier, too, so that's a bonus.
It came to a head about 18 months ago when he slam my laptop shut and out of my lap, which actually broke it, and then pinned me to the bed and shouted in my face.
Now, I will preface this by saying that while I know that domestic violence isn't just the act of actually hitting/hurt someone, he didn't hurt me and I have thrown plenty of his stuff around over the years. Neither of us is innocent and my actions don't excuse his actions, vice versa.
We split up for a while, he went to therapy (something I asked him to do repeatedly over the years but he'd never do), went on medication for depression and started going to the gym, which gave him a healthy outlet for some of his frustration.
I continued with the therapy I'd been in for several years and talked through my own problems.
Eventually, we got back together. Things are not perfect but they are much better now. We got married earlier this year (we had been together 8 years already) and we communicate much better now. Small frustrations are less likely to explode into ugly fights.
The dog is much happier, too, so that's a bonus.
4points
#32
My fiance and I have been together for 5 years. A few months go, I found out that he had cheated on me and never planned to tell me (he just wanted to cut ties with the women and never have me know). It blew up and his family found out (whom we were visiting hiring the time). It honestly forced us to have a hard but much needed conversation about our relationship and whether or not it was worth salvaging. We both conceded that there were problems on both ends of our relationship, it hurt but it was the truth. It was a hard pull to swallow, but for the best.
In the end we decided that our relationship was worth fighting for and that neither one of us was ready to throw the towel in. It hasn't been the easiest sailing since then, we've had our small spats and whatnot. I like to put it in the back of my mind and move on but in all honesty it'll be there for a while. Trust building is the biggest obstacle after something like that, and it isn't easy. We are doing well now and I think we are a lot happier as individuals and as a couple, being forced to look out issues in the eye and confront them made us stronger in the end.
In the end we decided that our relationship was worth fighting for and that neither one of us was ready to throw the towel in. It hasn't been the easiest sailing since then, we've had our small spats and whatnot. I like to put it in the back of my mind and move on but in all honesty it'll be there for a while. Trust building is the biggest obstacle after something like that, and it isn't easy. We are doing well now and I think we are a lot happier as individuals and as a couple, being forced to look out issues in the eye and confront them made us stronger in the end.
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4points
#33
Emotional affairs and beating my self-worth down to nothing. We were young and it was a long time ago. He is a changed person now. I have forgiven him, but sometimes I find myself really resenting him for all the heartache he put me through. It's something I need to work on and talk about, and he always tells me to talk about it. I feel like I can't because I know it's his biggest regret in life. I feel like I am throwing it in his face if I say anything. I have forgiven, I wish I could forget.
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4points
#34
We met in college and immediately moved in together after graduation. He came from what I like to call the perfect average American family. Two kids, boy and girl, parents super happy high school sweethearts and they SPOILED him. I come from divorced parents and an alcoholic father, so I’ve fended for myself for a while. He never had to work for anything in his life and out of college he crumbled. He did not know how to handle the stress of everyday work life and as a result would take that stress out on me. He expected me to take care of him as if I was him mother instead of his girlfriend. He would expect me to clean up after him, do his laundry, take care of the finances all while working and adjusting to life as a working adult just like he was but if I didn’t do everything it wouldn’t get done plus he would start arguments about me not doing it and if the arguments got heated he would break up with me, every. Single. Time. But if I ever got mad at him for anything I was an “awful girlfriend”. Yet he was dead set on getting married. I told him I wasn’t ready multiple times but he proposed to me anyway. I accepted because I loved him and hoped this would change things. It didn’t. I left 4 months after getting engaged it sucked because he was my best friend but I needed a partner not a angry spoiled child.
Three years later I was watching Remember the Titans on tv and this was one of our favorite movies. We always used to quote it back and forth together all the time in random conversations. Something came over me and I wanted to talk to him and quote the movie again and just laugh like we used to so I decided to text him. And I kid you not, at the exact same time I sent the text telling him what I was watching I received a text from him telling me that he was watching Remember the Titans.
Things slowly came back together after that. He had done exactly what I needed him to do while we were broken up and that was live on his own and understand what it’s like to take care of yourself and not have someone else do it for you. He’s a whole new man now and still my best friend, were living together and have been back together for almost 2 years now and we’ve now been together a total of 7 years (although not consecutively 😂).
Three years later I was watching Remember the Titans on tv and this was one of our favorite movies. We always used to quote it back and forth together all the time in random conversations. Something came over me and I wanted to talk to him and quote the movie again and just laugh like we used to so I decided to text him. And I kid you not, at the exact same time I sent the text telling him what I was watching I received a text from him telling me that he was watching Remember the Titans.
Things slowly came back together after that. He had done exactly what I needed him to do while we were broken up and that was live on his own and understand what it’s like to take care of yourself and not have someone else do it for you. He’s a whole new man now and still my best friend, were living together and have been back together for almost 2 years now and we’ve now been together a total of 7 years (although not consecutively 😂).
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3points
#35
Note: these events happened well over a year ago
I found out that my partner was talking to several women and men online, including his exgf (who had previously tried to break us up). I was prepared to get everything I'd left at his place and ghost him, but he called me bored from work just to talk and I laid into him. He swore he didn't know what I was talking about and asked me to stay at his place til he got home from work. I relented, bc I loved him, but I was still really pissed.
He comes home, we argue, I show him proof, he swears he doesn't remember it, I threw a bag of chocolate chips and we both cried. Come to find out he was constantly broke because of random purchases he was making that he didn't remember around the same time as these messages.
Lo and behold, he has some pretty serious undiagnosed mental issues. I told him that if he didn't get help and on medication, I wasn't gonna stick around. I told him I couldn't help him if he couldn't help himself, all that jazz.
He got on medication, and while we've had issues since then while we struggle to find the cocktail that works for him, it's been nothing like it was in the beginning, and I'm more in love now than I thought I ever could be.
I found out that my partner was talking to several women and men online, including his exgf (who had previously tried to break us up). I was prepared to get everything I'd left at his place and ghost him, but he called me bored from work just to talk and I laid into him. He swore he didn't know what I was talking about and asked me to stay at his place til he got home from work. I relented, bc I loved him, but I was still really pissed.
He comes home, we argue, I show him proof, he swears he doesn't remember it, I threw a bag of chocolate chips and we both cried. Come to find out he was constantly broke because of random purchases he was making that he didn't remember around the same time as these messages.
Lo and behold, he has some pretty serious undiagnosed mental issues. I told him that if he didn't get help and on medication, I wasn't gonna stick around. I told him I couldn't help him if he couldn't help himself, all that jazz.
He got on medication, and while we've had issues since then while we struggle to find the cocktail that works for him, it's been nothing like it was in the beginning, and I'm more in love now than I thought I ever could be.
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3points
#36
He had an emotional affair with his ex girlfriend during the first six months of us dating. When I found out a year later that this had happened, we broke up. A year later, we started talking again and I gave him a second chance. He didn’t make me regret it. We have been together almost 7 years, married for 3. And honestly he is the best friend and partner.
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3points
#37
My ex was a huge momma's boy. We broke up at 17 because "I was the source of his failure in school." (I could hear his mom over the phone when he broke up with me telling him what to say).
We spent the summer broken up, then he came back to me in the fall begging for another chance. I liked him enough and it was awkward to be in marching band together but not together. So I said sure, what the hell.
Mistake!! **Mistake!!** Even after five years together, multiple marriage pleadings from him, and living together, who came first? Parents. Always. I lived with them during breaks and he always sided with them against me. It felt alienating, I felt alone and like he didn't care about our team, us.
We broke up because I am a raging homosexual, but it was coming regardless because of so many issues with family.
We spent the summer broken up, then he came back to me in the fall begging for another chance. I liked him enough and it was awkward to be in marching band together but not together. So I said sure, what the hell.
Mistake!! **Mistake!!** Even after five years together, multiple marriage pleadings from him, and living together, who came first? Parents. Always. I lived with them during breaks and he always sided with them against me. It felt alienating, I felt alone and like he didn't care about our team, us.
We broke up because I am a raging homosexual, but it was coming regardless because of so many issues with family.
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3points
#38
That's an interesting question.
I have been married 11y, 17y together now with 2kids. And I have been hurt by my husband and I have hurt him. We've gone through ups and downs and were close to divorce once.
I have felt neglected, not prioritized or acknowledged at specific times and moved past all of that. But I think I am lucky in the sense that , so far, I haven't had to face anything that is a deal breaker (or always thought it was).
I have been married 11y, 17y together now with 2kids. And I have been hurt by my husband and I have hurt him. We've gone through ups and downs and were close to divorce once.
I have felt neglected, not prioritized or acknowledged at specific times and moved past all of that. But I think I am lucky in the sense that , so far, I haven't had to face anything that is a deal breaker (or always thought it was).
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3points
#39
Cyber affairs, emotional affairs, Him being diagnosed with Bipolar, then BPD, lying, hiding things from me, substance use, verbal a***e, leaving. Yes it is a lot easier to just walk away and start over. It's also worth it in the end to fight for the marriage and a person's healing internally, as long as they actually see that they're a problem and come with humility to actually fix it. It takes a lot of grace, patience, understanding, and love to truly work together to fix it. It's not always fixable though. I suppose we will see in the end if it is.
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3points
#40
I started dating one of my best friends from highschool. He ended up cheating on me with a girl friend I was living with in the same room as me. It was traumatizing. But I decided to move on from it as our relationship was very new and we came to the conclusion that he was making poor decisions because he was hurting and he wasn't over his last relationship.
Still, I stuck by his side and we worked through all of our troubles together, and he was the best companion I could ask for, but that is all he and I can be for each other. We only remained partners for a year after the initial incident, and now we are still kicking it as only roommates/companions with our shared group of friends.
Though I truly love him, our relationship cannot be intimate or completely romantic without causing us inner turmoil. But I am glad I still get to see him everyday and he is a treasure in my eyes always, and a romantic partnership with him would risk that wonderful feeling.
Still, I stuck by his side and we worked through all of our troubles together, and he was the best companion I could ask for, but that is all he and I can be for each other. We only remained partners for a year after the initial incident, and now we are still kicking it as only roommates/companions with our shared group of friends.
Though I truly love him, our relationship cannot be intimate or completely romantic without causing us inner turmoil. But I am glad I still get to see him everyday and he is a treasure in my eyes always, and a romantic partnership with him would risk that wonderful feeling.
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2points
