49 Patient Cases That Left Gynecologists Speechless

One that a colleague in OB/GYN shared a while back:

A woman was in for a pelvic exam, is up in the stirrups and my colleague has her fingers in up to the cervix.

At this point, something possesses the woman to ask, and I quote, "So, do you ever think about stuffing a turkey while you're doing this?"

My colleague, trying to keep a straight face, answers, "No, but now I will every Thanksgiving..."

The woman finds this hilarious, and proceeds to stare my colleague dead in the eye while yelling "*GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE*", with my colleague's hands still up her hoody-hoo.

I still enjoy telling that story to friends at Thanksgiving. It means more turkey for moi.

I'm a gynecologist, and what irks me is that our providers have had to write doctor's notes specifically stating to have NO intercourse for a certain amount of time, because sometimes husbands don't really understand or care — one poor woman had stated she needed her note to include no oral either, and her stupid husband counted down the days until she was 'released from her restrictions.'

This is a story from a friend's dad, happened three summers ago.

An overweight woman comes into the office for an STD test and pelvic exam, complaining of colorful discharge, an awful stench, and burning during urination. She assumes she has gonorrhea. Wrong. It was much worse.

He gets in there for the pelvic exam, all the while assaulted by the stench of rot, and finds a dead frog in her vagina. This thing is heavily decomposed, since the warmth of the woman's vaginal cavity has helped to speed up the process, and he has to pull it out piece by piece. Needless to say, she also had a wicked UTI.

The woman explained that she'd passed out naked and drunk/high/whatever at some party at her boyfriend's house, and figures he or one of his friends must have thought it would be an absolute riot to put a live frog up her vag. She apparently did not seem bothered by the fact that an animal had died and decomposed in her vagina, just relieved she didn't have gonorrhea.

Edit: For extra gross-out factor, it's worth knowing that this was in Memphis, TN, where temperatures routinely get well over 100F with over 90% humidity. Think about that.

During a delivery of twins the doctor notices that one of the twins isn't looking so good and needs some help coming out. The doctor applies some traction to the babies head, which is unusually mushy.

**He decapitates the baby.** The head literally comes off in his hands.

The doctor does a silent "oh s**t" and dumps it in a medical waste bag before the mom can see it.

Turns out that this was actually a triplet that was never noticed on ultrasound. It had been choked off by the other two, died at some point prior, and started decomposing.

My wife is an ob/gyn specializing in maternal fetal medicine which is basically high risk patients...she had an obese diabetic woman come in with an absess the size of a lemon on her labia..when they lanced it the absess exploded missing my wife but hitting her nurse...she described the smell as worse than a thousand decaying bodies and the nurse with over ten years of experience proceeded to throw up all over the exam room.

One of my friends worked as an intern with a gynaecologist 2 years ago. There was a client complaining that she couldn't get pregnant. She also had been having diarrhea for a long time. The gynaecologist asked if she regularly had a**l s*x and the woman confirmed that she only did it anally. Apparently her husband had told her you can get pregnant from a**l s*x, so she wanted it non-stop to get pregnant.

I'm an EMT and work in free health clinics with Remote Area Medical. We provide vision, dental, medical and women's health clinics. I was assigned to the women's health area when we had a lady come in with a washcloth shoved in that region.

Stank to high heaven, and she'd put it up there three weeks ago as homemade contraception.

That was my first time working in the women's health clinic.

And I have more, such stories, such horrible horrible stories.

Nurse here. I had a girl come into the ER walking funny. She was complaining of pain near her vagina. She has an in-grown pubic hair next to her vagina that was infected & created a 4cm lesion of pus & stench. The PA and I had to drain the vesicle. I think I screamed louder than her when it popped while the PA was injecting some lidocaine to numb the area. It's sad, with no insurance, the poor girl let it go for so long before she spent the money for a doctor.

My sister's boyfriend was doing a gyno rotation. He was quite upset, as he was examining a woman that from sight and smell alone it was obvious she had cervical cancer so advanced that she wasn't going to make it. For the first time on that rotation he had to warn someone about their imminent death. It was all very depressing and solemn, so it was quite a relief when it turned out to be a tampon that had been in there long enough to resemble a tumor.

EDIT: On TSS- someone correct me if I'm wrong, but as I understand it the bacteria that causes TSS is either present in a patient or not, like MRSA. TSS is NOT an inevitable consequence of disgusting tampon behaviour.

My dad's a gyno, tends not to be too open about the gritty details, but everyone in my family knows the story of the time he was doing a routine exam and found half a ham sandwich beneath a fat fold of one of his patients. Yeah, every time a friend makes a crack about my dad seeing a lot of puss, I tell that story.

While working in an ER... A lady comes in and complains of money stuck in her vagina. We get her back to the room and discover a huge roll of small bills that cannot come out. The surgeons had to take her to the OR and put her under general anesthesia to pull out the wad of money. It was a roll six inches in diameter. Around $4000. They turned it into the bank who sent the damaged bills back to the treasury and the patient got brand new dollars.

Another lady had her dog's tennis ball stuck in her. She was in her 70's.

Not me, my uncle that's a doctor. He was doing his rounds in medical school and it was his turn to be an OBGYN, or however the rotations work in medical school. A lady came in with a black discharge coming from out of her vagina. He opened her up and started poking at a black object around the cervix. He asked if it hurt when he touched it. She said no so he started tugging on it with forceps or tweezers, whathaveyou. He began to slowly pull it out and it turned out to be a tampon that was stuck in there for over six months. The smell was so bad that the nurse had to leave the room. I'm surprised she didn't get toxic shock syndrome.

I had a lady who came in with 'unexplained' vaginal bleeding. She'd never had a pap smear before, and she was around 40 years old. Lo and behold, there was a huge cancerous tumor on her cervix. The gynecologist tried to take a small biopsy, and the bed looked like a murder scene. I went and booked in for my pap smear the next day, since I had been putting it off.

My mother is a nurse and she has a great story about a friend. Her friend was doing the exam and used a vaginal speculum to open things up down there on the patient. She immediately noticed that the vagina contained a bunch of LIVE ANTS!!

So the nurse freaks out a little and checks again. Right about then she notices that the ants had been in the speculum and that she had just inserted them into the patient...

tl;dr: Nurse inserted ants into patients vagina by mistake.

I'm not a gyno, but one of my friend's aunts is. She said that one time, this lady came in and complained about being in a lot of pain. Upon inspection, my friend's aunt discovered a thong inside the woman. Neither one of them knew how a thong could possibly end up INSIDE a vagina.

I'm a critical care nurse and we had an [adult worker] brought in through the ER and she kept grabbing towards her vagina shouting she had stuff in there. We looked at each other and thought oh no now we gotta look. We preceded to pull out toilet paper, $32.50, and a handful of maggots. Almost all of us gagged.

My friend is a nurse at a gynos office and she told us this story a few years ago. A lady came in complaining that she was bleeding during s*x. When the doctor examined her he found two old condoms and an old tampon. She also said she hadn't gotten her period in six months.

Not a gyno but was an EMT/Firefighter about 10 years back. Treated a very attractive woman who decided to dump about 4 oz of Drano into/on her vagina to "k**l the sperm" that her date left in her "by accident." Just think of an English bulldog who got popped an Alka-Seltzer, got into a Costco sized jar of mayo and then was punched in the face about 10 times. That's what it resembled.

To add to the awkward factor, about a year later I met a very attractive woman at a grocery store. Got her number and met her for drinks. Later that night we ended up at my place making out. As soon as I started taking her shirt off I suddenly remembered that the girl who I had taken out for drinks was the one who previously dumped drano into her vag. Our night ended abruptly and awkwardly as you can imagine.

Delivering late miscarriages. Ruins my whole week.

Manager of a OB/GYN clinic here. Not really a horror story but, Patient called our nurse mentioning she had dark colored discharge and vaginal discomfort. After asking questions we confirmed it was because she thought you could use any type of jelly for intercourse. She had used grape jelly and not ky.