#1
#2
The next night was the wedding and they left the day after. Me and this girl texted though and she revealed to me that she's married and has kids. She was saying her husband doesn't give her enough attention at home and stuff. I ended up blocking.
Even though I had no idea I felt scummy. Also I was disgusted with her. Cheating is scummy.
#3
We met via Tinder many years ago, had drinks, back to her place, slept with each other, then as I was leaving expressed interest to see her again to which she told me she couldn’t because her and her husband had a rule they only slept with people once. I s**t you not. And she didn’t tell me she was married until I was leaving.
While some marriages are completely healthy, with both parties happily involved in the relationship, sadly, not all are like this. This kind of toxicity might manifest in plenty of ways, from emotional closedness to infidelity. Today, we’re going to focus on the latter.
As you likely already saw, this list is made up of stories coming from men who slept with women who were married, but to someone else. All of these confessions came from a Reddit thread that was popular enough a few months ago to get over 1K responses. All of these responses made us wonder – why do people cheat in relationships? So, we delved into this topic a little deeper.
Well, as with basically everything else in life, infidelity can also have a variety of causes. In fact, it can even be categorized based on whether it originates from the person themselves or the relationship they’re cheating on.
#4
#5
#6
Second one: I was friends with a polyamorous couple, and the husband was ok if his wife and I started sleeping together. Apparently she had been crushing on me for a while, but I was dating somebody else monogamously before her and she wasn't going to disrespect that relationship. After we started sleeping together, I got way too attached, I started getting a little jealous, and so I broke it off. It didn't hurt our friendship, though we have since drifted apart.
The former category includes causes like dependence – whether it’s alcohol, other substances, gambling, or anything else. It can push the person to cross a line of fidelity, especially if it pushes them to a critical mental or physical state. Various mental disorders or other psychological problems can also influence a person to cheat.
Childhood trauma and exposure to infidelity at a young age can play a part in adultery too, as it’s proven that people who experienced something like that tend to be cheaters more often than those who didn’t.
Then, the relationship they’re cheating on can also carry some problems that lead them to make such a poor decision. As an example, we can take codependent relationships that can be a cause for unfaithfulness.
#7
2nd date. She hands a baby (her baby brother?) to the guy who answered the first time I picked her up. She gets in my vehicle and I made a joke about the large age gap between her baby brother and her and her older brother. That's when she tells me it's her baby and her husband. They are separated, but he lives with her parents to provide childcare while she works and he figures what to do with his life.
This was a fling for me, but it got weird early on when she was asleep and he was fake texting me from her phone trying to break it off. He was clearly not over her yet. I ended it when I met another nurse with less drama.
#8
#9
All the shots missed, but I think it was more the husband making a point.
In an interview with Bored Panda, therapist Chenglu Ding at A Better Life Therapy, M.S.Ed., M.Phil.Ed., named several signs that signal that a relationship is codependent.
For example, one of the involved parties constantly needs to put the other’s needs first. It can go so far as them becoming self-neglectful: “Over time, this imbalance can lead to emotional exhaustion, anxiety, or even depression. The person may also begin to feel quietly resentful, realizing they give so much but rarely feel seen, appreciated, or emotionally fulfilled.”
Lack of boundaries is another sign of such a relationship, which sometimes gets referred to as enmeshment – when people get so involved with each other that it’s excessive.
#10
It largely started out as a physical relationship and went on for a little over a month. I eventually shut it down after I found out. Not the first married woman I encountered in the dating world either. Some were doing it with their partners knowledge, some were not.
#11
That's when I realized that my conscious isn't just tied to what others are OK with. It's also got to do with what I think is right. It was the last fling I had. It opened my eyes to what I was doing, and made me feel quite stupid. But it also taught me that's what pain does, it makes people do stupid things.
#12
Fear of abandonment is a sign too. Codependency often lies in a fear of being alone, so a person starts clinging to the other just to avoid it, even if the relationship is unfulfilling or even harmful.
M.S.Ed., M.Phil.Ed. Chenglu Ding didn’t forget to mention that low self-esteem is not only a sign but a root cause for such relationships as well: “Codependent relationship patterns are often rooted in low self-esteem and an intense need for external validation."
She added: "Many people who exhibit codependent behaviors struggle with feeling ‘not good enough’ internally, so they look to their partner and the relationship to define their worth.”
So, as you can see, codependent relationships are far from healthy. And the thing about a toxic relationship is that it wears a person out. As our interviewee pointed out, over time, a person in a codependent relationship can start feeling overly anxious, depressed, or even angry towards their partner.
#13
No more random bar hook-ups for me, after that.
#14
#15
So, in some cases, such feelings can manifest in infidelity, whether it’s to break free from the toxic dynamic, to look for their own identity outside of the relationship, or even a way to hurt their partner. Of course, not every such relationship ends with unfaithfulness, but some might.
And codependency is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to problems within relationships that cause infidelity. We just wanted to shine a light on this one, since due to its essence, some might think it’s safe from such an act – but it’s not.
Granted, we don’t justify cheating in any form – even if a relationship you are in is unhealthy, there are other ways to find a way out, more moral ones. But, well, people wouldn’t be people if they didn’t push moral boundaries, would they?
#16
#17
She never mentioned it until after we finished and she left my room telling me she had to get back to her family.
#18
A year and a half later I was told just Facebook (which I don’t have) marketplace. And I was trying to buy a couch. Her name came up and I clicked on it curious. It was her selling her dead husbands couch and house because she needed money.
It said on Facebook, “married 6 years. I felt bad for that guy.
#19
I was safe, was never going to fall in love with them, discreet, and believed I was saving their marriage rather than ruining it.
It was all fun and games until I found bullet holes in my car.
#20
