What does it mean to be a man in today's world? It's a simple question with no simple answer. What is masculinity and what does it mean to men? Many people would say that it means men being aggressive, oppressing women, dropping sexist comments... Very few people actually dig into the topic and think deeply about what masculinity actually is.
#3 Girls Are Always Taught How To Stay Safe, It's Not As Common To Teach Boys, And I Feel Like We Have Lots Of Young Men Here (Xpost Trollxchrosomes
David D. Gilmore tried to find an answer in his book “Manhood in the Making." He examined cultures around the world and found some universal principles of what it meant to be a man. "Gilmore’s main finding was that no matter what culture or society he surveyed, there were always three clear, distinctive, and universal principles common to all men. They are the basic ingredients of the masculinity cocktail, no matter where you go."
The ingredients according to The Authentic Man magazine are:
- Protect your loved ones
- Provide for your family
- Initiate the connections with females/reproduce
The main reasons for these duties were that men were stronger and more expendable. The Authentic Man online magazine argues that, "The number of women directly correlated with a species’ ability to survive. A single female could carry, bear, and nurture only a limited number of children, whereas a few men were enough to conceive all of them. Put simply, the womb was more valuable than the sperm. Men were the ones who had to engage in dangerous tasks like hunting mammoths or beating up rival tribes."
Times change, but many of these duties are still attributed to men. A lot of boys when growing up were taught to just "suck it up" when dealing with difficult times. It was not acceptable to cry, share emotions or in general be "weak." It is quite sad when you think about it... not to be given the same platform to feel out your emotions as women, but rather try to always "be strong".
The outcome of this was many men being silent when having troubles, not expressing their feelings and trying to always act tough. It is a recipe for disaster with outcomes like mental health issues, bad communication in relationships, depression, etc.
Luckily, times are changing and with today's fast-moving world, men are finally seen as a whole person, not just the strong ones to always lean on. Men are more open and free to express their fears, desires and bad feelings. We are shifting into a place where vulnerability and authenticity are celebrated, with strength being considered being able to openly communicate what's inside.
