For some, it may seem that technology makes people communicate less because we’re always on our computers or our phones. But it actually makes it so easy to communicate and to be connected 24/7. It allows us to meet people that we wouldn’t necessarily be able to get to know in real life, so that is why dating apps are so popular. You can quickly decide if you would have something to talk about with that person from the little descriptions they have and decide if you would like to know more.
But sometimes people get interested not in the person who created the profile on the app, but the other people they see in pictures. This is what happened to Abby who shared a message she got on a dating app from a guy asking her about her friend, which she saw as rude and distasteful.
More info: TikTok
Woman got matched with a guy on Hinge just to find out he was interested in her friend
Image credits: abbyrose331
Abby, whose TikTok nickname is abbyrose331, is a college student who shares bits of her life through videos, often using various viral sounds that fit the situation.
She doesn’t have a huge platform, and her videos aren’t usually viral, but one of them gained more attention than others and was viewed by 1.2 million people.
Image credits: abbyrose331
Abby told the guy the friend already has a boyfriend and advised him not to do that anymore
In that video, Abby shows a screenshot of a message she got on a dating app and it wasn’t a pleasant one. A guy sent her one of her profile pictures in which the woman was with a friend and the guy wanted to know who she was.
Abby responded by saying that her friend already has a boyfriend and advised the guy to not send such messages. While talking with BuzzFeed, the woman revealed that the guy wrote her back apologizing but at the same time, he “just had to know.”
You can find the video below
The video in which she showed the screenshot got very popular on TikTok but people in the comments had mixed reactions
Some of them were on Abby's side and thought the guy was rude, he even admitted that by starting his conversation with "no hate"
The guy’s original message started by asking Abby not to hate him, which showed her that he knew what he was doing was rude but he didn’t care if he was hurting Abby’s feelings.
Although Abby opened up and mentioned that she wasn’t really affected by the message and actually found the situation quite funny even though she considered that the guy was toeing the line and believed that if a person gets a lot of similar comments, it might lower their self-esteem.
The friend in the photo was aware that this guy was asking for her and that the video of the screenshot blew up. She didn’t take this too seriously either, but was surprised as Abby was to see such divide in the comments.
Many people agreed with the woman that the message was quite inappropriate and thought that if they were in the friend’s position they wouldn’t want to get involved with such a guy who treated their friend like that. But there were also other people in the comments who thought that Abby got offended for no reason and that this happens all the time so she should have just agreed to the guy’s request.
Others didn't see why she was so mad because they have even did that themselves
The internet is a place where very few rules exist, but it doesn’t matter if you are talking with someone online or in real life, basic etiquette helps a lot. There are many tips online on how to have a smooth conversation with a person and possibly create a real relationship with them.
Very Well Mind, an online journal exploring the topics of mental health, made a list of a couple things to have in mind if you want to be an interesting interlocutor.
Firstly they say that you should know the identity terminology because according to them, “It isn't polite to ask someone what their identity means, and it's a request for emotional labor.” So in this case, Google comes in handy.
Very Well Mind points out that sometimes people don’t want to be the ones to reach out and wait for the other one to make the first move. But if both of you have the same ‘rule,’ you won’t talk at all, so if you are interested, just reach out. You can ask the person questions or give them compliments, but don’t overshare. It’s best to know the person more before loading the major life issues you have on them.
However, Abby still believed such behavior was rude and didn't think her friends would even want to get involved with such a person
Everyone has a different understanding of what dating app etiquette is but it's probably safe to say that receiving such a message hurts just a little bit
Other things to have in mind are to use emojis, because those conversations last longer, and be polite and PG, at least at the beginning, until you find out more about the other person.
They also mention photo sending: “Wait until another person requests a photo of you before sending one. Don't send a photo of an intimate body part unless it is specifically requested and all parties consent to doing so.” Consent is important, as is evident from certain dating apps that have removed the photo sending function because of how many complaints people had.
We are interested to know where you stand in the discussion and do you agree that there is such a thing as dating app etiquette? Let us know your own stories of being perplexed by people’s rudeness or social unawareness in the comments!