
#1

Relationship therapist Judith Aronowitz explains why we might sometimes overlook our partner's not-so-pleasant habits. "After a certain amount of time in a relationship, people start to feel more comfortable with each other and a trust starts to develop. The facade of perfection wanes and we start to let the guard down."
"We start to recognize that we can be ourselves in another's presence. This can look different in all couples but it may look like exposing less-than-beautiful habits," the relationship therapist goes on. "There is a safety that develops between people and they allow themselves to be seen warts and all. One may feel comfortable using the toilet in front of the other, maybe burping or passing gas."
#2

#3

Aronowitz says that we choose to overlook these unpleasant things our partners do because we decide that, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. "Mutual respect develops when we are able to understand another's feelings. When we can value and consider the other, especially around opposing viewpoints."
"When we can accept each other's individuality and unique characteristics, respect develops. We are more likely to overlook small things that our partner does. We may decide it isn't worth bringing up. We can also communicate how we feel and work a problem out."
The relationship therapist also reminds us that it's the bad habits that we should focus on and not the person. "Ultimately, when we love someone, we recognize them as human and understand that everyone has some annoying or gross habits," Judith Aronowitz explains. "The goal at the end of the day is to accept your partner's habits and focus on the strengths of the person and the relationship."
#4

#5

#6

How can partners deal with their SO's nasty habits? Experts say that shaming them publicly (albeit anonymously) is hardly the way. Australian dating and relationship coach Debbie Rivers claims that the first and most important thing is to recognize that your partner might be doing that gross thing not out of spite.
"They aren't personally directed at you and your partner may not even realize that they are doing it," she claims. “In fact, they may have no idea quite how annoying it is to you." The second step would be to talk about the issue. However, Rivers advises doing so when you're calm and not right after witnessing the gross habit.
#7

#8

#9

If you wish to address the annoying behavior or habit with your SO, it matters how you do it. The tone of voice, facial expressions, and, most importantly, what words you use. Rivers recommends avoiding such phrases as "You always do that" and "You never listen." Such verbiage might only trigger defensiveness and will hardly lead to any productive discussions.
#10

#11

#12

Of course, it goes the other way round as well: when your partner tells you about what habits of yours they don't like, be willing to listen. When they have noticed your comments and reacted appropriately, acknowledge their effort. Encouragement is important when trying to kick a bad habit, so letting your partner know you notice and support them will let them improve and result in a better relationship.
#13

#14

#15

Experts also advise to start talking about gross and disgusting habits only when you really can't take it anymore. Psychiatrist and relationship therapist Dion Metzger, MD, told Style Caster that if it only makes you roll your eyes but not gag, maybe it's worth letting go. "Most people overthink this and end up feeling more anxious during their time together rather than enjoying it. Whenever you can, don't make this the focus of your relationship, and try to go with the flow."
#16

#17

#18

#19

#20



