When it comes to dating, we are all too quick to swipe left on anyone who has red flags flashing all over them. Are they a regular smoker? Yikes. More of a cat person? Double yikes. (But still, an animal-person, let's give them that.) Still lives with their mom? This goes without saying. The first things we pay attention to (besides funny Tinder bios) are deal breakers, icks, and all-around turn-offs that we can catch immediately. However, why are we always centered on the bad stuff? Why not swivel our attention to more positive attributes, the so-called green flags in a relationship?
The answer is simple. Signs of a toxic relationship are more obvious. Yet somehow not prominent enough to end a relationship *sigh*. Essentially, a green flag in a relationship is a personality or behavior trait of a person which matches your established boundaries. Looking for potential relationship green flags may be more beneficial in the long run than speculating whether the other person in their Tinder photos is their ex, sibling, or "just a friend." Sure, much like red flags, dating green flags can also be deceiving. However, green flags in relationships are a much better indicator of a potential candidate and someone you may try to build a future with. By keeping an eye out for green flags in dating, especially if it's just the beginning of your relationship, you can assess if someone has the potential to be a suitable long-term partner. And essentially, not waste each other's time.
Whether you dream of becoming an epitome of #relationshipgoals on Instagram or finding someone who respects your boundaries (this), below, we've compiled a list of green flags to look for in a relationship to ease your search. What are the green flags in a relationship mentioned in the list that you agree with? Let us know by giving those entries an upvote! Also, are there any other green flags in men or women that we should add or which have worked for you in building a successful relationship you are currently in? Let us know in the comments!
#1 They Make You Feel Good About Yourself
When you're among them, their words, actions, and general attitude should make you feel admired, strong, and exalted. It might be time to seek elsewhere if you feel like you just played three rounds of Squid Game after a date. Anyone who makes you feel good about yourself, keep them. And be such a person for them.
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#2 They Make Time For You
First, it’s a green sign if they have a busy schedule because this means they are busting their arse off and working hard on their goals. Still, despite their hectic agenda, a person who is genuinely interested in you will always make time to spend one-on-one time with you. No one is too busy; it’s just not high on their priorities list.
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#3 They Compliment You
And by complimenting you, we don’t mean saying how hot you are or how well that top fits your curves. Anytime later in the relationship — sure, but the beginning of it shouldn’t be overly sexualized or concentrated on the physical appearance. Although everyone loves to hear they look good or snatched, the best compliments go beyond looks.
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#4 They Include You In Their Life, And Want To Be In Yours
They want to show you things, go on adventures with you, share things that make them happy, or perhaps keep them awake at night. They want you to meet their friends and family. They want to include you in their pursuits or create new hobbies you can do together. And, most importantly, they want to learn the same things about you.
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#5 They Talk You Up
When nice things happen to you, it is as though they have also transpired for them. They support your independence and achievement, are proud of you, and let you know when you’re being overly humble by shining a spotlight on you. Everyone needs a hype man/friend/someone who continually encourages them.
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#6 They Stay Off Their Phone
Not just off to the side of the table but hidden away entirely in your pocket or handbag. According to research conducted by psychologists at the University of Essex, even having a cell phone visible but not in use can worsen interpersonal relationships. Also, it's simply disrespectful. First impressions are crucial, whether it's on a first date or an interview. Using your phone while out on a date shows that you are not 100% present with your date.
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#7 They Are Self-Aware
A person with a strong sense of self-awareness will always be a better partner. They will be aware of how their actions and circumstances affect them, and they will react to conflict in a constructive and well-rounded manner.
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#8 The Little Things
They don't wait to demonstrate you some courtesy until they're in hot water. It's not about being ostentatious or achieving your goals. It either helps you or reflects their concern for you. Before a business presentation, a voice message wishing you luck, a text message congratulating you, a voice note letting you know they had a fantastic time last night. Little actions leave a lasting effect.
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#9 The Conversation Flows
Still, a moment of silence is not something to fear. It's not necessarily a bad sign when there are awkward silences on a date. Actually, they often point to unfiltered sexual energy between two people. How exciting! Keep firm eye contact with the person at the other end of the table and simply allow yourself to experience those electrifying moments.
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#10 They Appreciate Your Differences
A relationship can fail miserably when people try to transfer their “ideal” partner’s qualities onto the person they are dating. Still, a potential partner is not a scientific project. Everyone has various histories, hobbies, and personalities, so it’s crucial to be with someone who takes the time to learn what makes you unique and embraces those qualities rather than trying to alter them.
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#11 You Laugh A Lot Together
On dates with women, men often pretend to be stand-up comedians, with their dates serving as their receptive audience. Nevertheless, laughing should be a two-way conversation, not a broadcast. Also, laughter must be genuine; there should be no polite tittering at jokes that hit harder than your Uncle Bob after ten IPA beers.
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#12 They’re Not Afraid To Talk About The Future
Even if it's your first time seeing each other in person, get rid of the idea that discussing long-term goals isn't fitting for a first date. Long-term goals don't necessarily have to involve the person you are talking to. Do you plan to wed someday? Are you confident you don't want to have children in the future? Inform them! You're not asking them to sign a contract. It's a natural part of your dialogue, letting them know where you stand with them and helping you establish your boundaries. You know not to waste time on a second date if your goals don't match.
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#13 They Are Willing To Try Stuff
Being curious is hawt. Even science agrees that being adventurous makes you more attractive. A study done by dating giants Match.com showed that a sense of adventure makes a potential date more attractive for 85% of singles. Another well-known dating site, RSVP.com, previously polled 882 Australian adults about their turn-ons and turn-offs. According to the respondents, the more adventurous a person is, the hotter they look. With all due respect, not "I love you" but "Let's do it!" are the three most romantic words.
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#14 You Can Be Yourself With Them
Oh, the pleasure of being able to speak (and act) openly and without judgment! No walls or facades are standing between you. They genuinely want to get to know you as a person and view you as more than just a pretty face. And no, their opinion of you shouldn't change after you go swimming or when they see you with no makeup after your first time. As the saying goes (or something like it), if they don't value you at your worst, they don’t deserve you at your best!
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#15 They Support You Having Your Own Social Life, Separate From Them
Of course, they should also have one. While it might be tempting to spend all of your time together initially, both partners need to be able to preserve their identities. You don’t want to spend your time with someone, especially long-term, who makes it hard for you to maintain your hobbies and other things in life that make you happy and content. Also, having that independence and space can help keep the fling alive once you’ve been together for a while.
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#16 They Are Genuinely Kind To Everyone
Let’s presume your new date is kind to you because you are the one they want to impress. (Oh, how nice they are when they’re trying to sleep with you!) But how do they behave with those they don’t want to become close to? Even more indicative of a person’s character is how they treat those around them, including the bartender, cab driver, and the people in the row behind you at the cinema.
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#17 You Accept It’s All A Work-In-Progress
Not marble or stone, but flesh and bone. We're fixated on lightning-fast reactions, but a huge green flag signals that you won't do everything right the first time. Relationships are active projects. A successful relationship is one in which both partners experience love and support and can freely communicate their needs. The aim is to make progress toward these objectives as you go. It's never smooth as butter, yet it shouldn't be an uphill battle.
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#18 They Call You Out On Your BS
We would all love to be occasionally spoiled, and, at first, having your every desire catered to may seem very alluring. Still, someone who truly values you will periodically give you a reality check. Choose a companion who serves as a gentle reminder that you are not the center of attention (although you very much wish you were).
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#19 Their Words Match Their Actions
The flag doesn’t get greener than this if a person supports what they say with their actions. It is essential to have a very clear and visual mental process and follow through on plans and intent so that you are not left in the dark or forced to interpret things in your own ways, which will not always be correct.
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#20 They Remember Even The Smallest Things About You
A positive indication that someone wants to know you better is that they remember even the tiniest bits about your life. This demonstrates that they are interested in what you are saying enough to pay attention and try to remember it.
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