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Recently, a thread appeared in the AskReddit community, where the topic starter, the user u/Technical-Glass8417, asked netizens: "What’s an oddly specific green flag that instantly tells you 'yep you’re my kind of person'?"—and it's obvious that people liked the question, so they began to actively answer. As of today, the thread has around 2.3K upvotes and over 1K various comments.
Perhaps this is not viral status, but with threads like this, you must agree, sincerity and warmth are in fact way more important than virality. So, there are a lot of sincere revelations, personal experiences, and just warm stories in this thread, and we, Bored Panda, have put together this wonderful selection especially for you.
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I’m not even sure if it’s something he consciously does, or if he just cares about people that much that he instinctively feels the need to help the more socially timid folks find their voice. But he’s done this a LOT, and I know people appreciate it.
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The most important condition, which many people wrote about in this selection, is that it should be easy to communicate with a person. This "easy" doesn't only mean that we or they can just talk incessantly, but rather that we can just be ourselves with them. Without any fear of accidentally offending, and without thinking over every word that’s said—like a diplomat in serious negotiations.
It's something so elusive, that feeling that way is really hard to describe in words—and indeed, sometimes only the most outstanding writers have found the right words. If, of course, something similar and wonderful happened to them in their life—or their imagination and creative genius were enough to just make it up...
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One of my exes would happily lend other drivers grace even if the other driver was in the wrong and it was the biggest breath of fresh air.
My father had road rage so bad I would fear for my life. So it’s a huge green flag for me when people recognize how dangerous and stupid it is.
Edit: grammar.
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By the way—about making it up. Sometimes, in some cases, a person can really masterfully portray an incredibly pleasant person to talk to, just to gain our trust. For example, in one of the stories we cited, the author says that it's important for their cat to like the person.
Well, one of my friends many years ago, knowing how highly the guy she liked valued his cat's "opinion" about new people for him, especially before her first visit to him, put a drop of Valerian root tincture in her perfume... It's interesting that they've been together for more than two decades, and they have kids and a great family. Sometimes, you have to guide the hand of fate a little yourself, right?
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"Usually, among the factors that are important for a good attitude towards a person from the first meeting, they name a sense of humor," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. "This isn't surprising—after all, it was theoretically substantiated that humor was developed in people precisely to demonstrate high intelligence.
"It should be noted right away that there are different manifestations of a sense of humor - and if next to you there is an undoubtedly intelligent person with a keen sense of cynicism, literally raining sarcastic arrows on the people around them—well, sooner or later you can become a target of such a person. But if there's all right with self-irony—then this is really wonderful.
"In any case, if a person can make you laugh at their jokes, and these jokes don't seem offensive to others, then most likely this really does indicate high intelligence, as well as good empathy. So this in itself is a big green flag," Irina sums up.
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What is also incredibly important—and many authors of the stories from our selection note this as well—is a person's ability to admit their own wrongness. That is, not to try to portray absolute infallibility in any situation, but to be able to learn from mistakes—including their own, and to not be afraid to say that they were wrong. If, of course, that is really so.
"People with low intellectual humility will often react defensively when contradicted," The Guardian quotes Leor Zmigrod, a UK-based political neuroscientist, and author of the book 'The Ideological Brain: The Radical Science of Flexible Thinking.' "They might feel personally attacked or insulted, and arrogantly double down." As we can see, the ability to not put yourself first with communication almost always turns out to be a virtue.
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or like "hey what if we go get ice cream rn?" we can't, we're in the middle of a shift. "cover for me" and then they're gone with an impulsive yet thoroughly planned method to bring us ice cream right the second we thought about it.
they remind me that life is open-world, I can do whatever I want. My fav example was when I met a friend and we saw an injured bee. "Aw man, too bad we cant help him," I said **foolishly**. "Who decided we can't?" she said and bee was given fruit and happiness until he left on his own terms.
Indeed, even if we believe that somewhere in heaven we are artificially separated from our other halves, this selection will be incredibly useful—after all, it will help you find "your kind of person." But even if everything is much more prosaic, and we're simply unconsciously looking for those with whom it's just easy and simple—why not share your thoughts on this topic in the comments on this post of ours?
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