There’s just something about grandpas that makes them the best. First of all, they’ve seen the good and the bad and managed to pull through. Second, they know some handy facts about stuff you never knew existed. Lastly, no matter their age, they are generally good-hearted and good-humored, if not a tad bit aloof.
However, even with this much wisdom, they sometimes can't figure out modern-day happenings, creating a fertile ground for some hilarious grandpa jokes. Treat these grandad jokes like dad jokes, except a tad bit wiser.
In this collection of grandpa’s funnies, you will surely see grandfathers battling their number one nemesis, social media. Even the most well-rounded paw-paw somehow struggles to get a grasp of it. On the other hand, maybe they don’t want to. Either way, it creates perfect situations for some silly jokes. These funny grandpa jokes also touch on the moments when older people tend to overshare (we don't want to hear about the best fake teeth, Grandpa).
Prepare for silly grandad jokes that make you cringe, shake your head, and laugh. Upvote the jokes that you like best, and tell us some of your grandpa’s jokes. Don’t forget to share this article with your grandfather so that he gets a couple more ideas.
#1
Grandpa: "Go hide, your teacher is here because you skipped school today!"
Boy: "No you go hide. I told her you were dead!"
Boy: "No you go hide. I told her you were dead!"
unknown
Report18points
#2
During World War II, my grandpa single-handedly killed 30 German pilots.
He was the crappiest mechanic the Luftwaffe ever recruited.
He was the crappiest mechanic the Luftwaffe ever recruited.
unknown
Report18points
#3
During a church service, a grandfather leans over to his wife and whispers, “I just let out a fart. It was silent. What should I do now?”
Grandma answers, “You need to change the batteries in your hearing aid.”
Grandma answers, “You need to change the batteries in your hearing aid.”
unknown
Report17points
#4
"Son, I found a condom in your room."
"Gee thanks, Grandpa!"
"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"
"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
"Gee thanks, Grandpa!"
"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"
"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
unknown
Report16points
#5
A guys asks his grandpa how come he still calls his wife "darling" after being married for over 60 years.
The grandpa says: "Shush it, I forgot her name 30 years ago."
The grandpa says: "Shush it, I forgot her name 30 years ago."
unknown
Report16points
#6
Girlfriend: "Oh no how am I gonna tell dad I'm pregnant?"
Me: "Leave that to me."
*later at dinner*
Her dad: *coughs* "I need water."
Me: "Oh no! Grandpa needs water!"
Me: "Leave that to me."
*later at dinner*
Her dad: *coughs* "I need water."
Me: "Oh no! Grandpa needs water!"
unknown
Report16points
#7
"Grandpa, grandpa! I'm watching a soccer game!"
"Who's playing?"
"Austria-Hungary."
"Against who?"
"Who's playing?"
"Austria-Hungary."
"Against who?"
unknown
Report15points
#8
My favorite childhood memory was building sand castles with my grandpa.
Then my mom hid the urn from me.
Then my mom hid the urn from me.
unknown
Report15points
#9
My granddad asked me how to print on his computer.
I told him it’s Ctrl-P.
He said he hasn’t been able to do that for ages.
I told him it’s Ctrl-P.
He said he hasn’t been able to do that for ages.
unknown
Report15points
#10
My grandpa’s so cheap, when he dies, he’ll probably walk towards the light – and turn it off.
unknown
Report15points
#11
Grandpa Always told me:
"Find a woman who is smart. Find a woman who is great in bed. Find a woman who loves you for who you are. And make sure none of these women ever meet."
"Find a woman who is smart. Find a woman who is great in bed. Find a woman who loves you for who you are. And make sure none of these women ever meet."
unknown
Report14points
#12
Shoutout to my grandpa.
That's the only way he can hear.
That's the only way he can hear.
unknown
Report14points
#13
Why did the grandchild call grandpa a hipster?
Because grandma told him, hipsters buy clothes from thrift shops, wear glasses that are thick, and look different.
Because grandma told him, hipsters buy clothes from thrift shops, wear glasses that are thick, and look different.
unknown
Report13points
#14
My grandfather is always saying that in the old days people could leave their back doors open…
Which is probably why his submarine sank.
Which is probably why his submarine sank.
unknown
Report13points
#15
My grandpa would always tell me that when he was growing up, in rural Texas, his momma would give him $1 and send him down to the store. He'd come back with 2 loaves of bread, half a gallon of milk, a carton of eggs, and a pound of pork.
He says you can't do that nowadays, way too many security cameras.
He says you can't do that nowadays, way too many security cameras.
unknown
Report12points
#16
Why do grandpas always smile?
Because they cannot hear anything that you are saying.
Because they cannot hear anything that you are saying.
unknown
Report12points
#17
My grandfather was a baker in the army.
He went in all buns glazing.
He went in all buns glazing.
unknown
Report12points
#18
At a kid’s party, the hired clown was late to arrive. When he finally did arrive, he walked up to grandpa and asked, “Where are the kids, sir?”
Grandpa looked him straight in the eye and answered very seriously, “That would be us. We grew up in the time it took for you to arrive.”
Grandpa looked him straight in the eye and answered very seriously, “That would be us. We grew up in the time it took for you to arrive.”
unknown
Report11points
#19
Why are grandparents and grandchildren always close to each other?
They both have a common enemy at the homefront who makes a fuss about eating sweets.
They both have a common enemy at the homefront who makes a fuss about eating sweets.
unknown
Report11points
#20
How are stars and fake teeth alike according to my grandfather?
My grandfather said, "These two come out only during the night."
My grandfather said, "These two come out only during the night."
unknown
Report11points