Kids have really curious minds. I mean, sure, they do strange things we can’t understand at times, but they are not afraid to explore new things and get new experiences. That’s how they learn and grow. But when they are constantly restricted, it can’t be good for them.
In today’s story, Reddit user Otherwise_Lead_936 was fed up with her daughter-in-law as she kept restricting her from doing any "firsts" with her kid while she babysat. The child was getting bored by this, so the grandma refused to babysit, but this angered the woman.
More info: Reddit
The poster of this story is close with her son and daughter-in-law and they share a good relationship
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
As the son works and the daughter-in-law stays home, the poster has been babysitting their 3-year-old for 2 days during the week to give her a break
Image credits: Otherwise_Lead_936
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
But the daughter-in-law has a rule that the poster shouldn't do any "firsts" with the kid as she wants to be present at every milestone
Image credits: Otherwise_Lead_936
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
These firsts are the simplest of things, so the grandma can't do anything with the 3-year-old who gets bored and so she told her that she can't babysit anymore
Image credits: Otherwise_Lead_936
The daughter-in-law said that the poster is taking away memories from her and also claimed that she is blackmailing her
The original poster (OP) is close with her son and daughter-in-law and they share a good relationship. While her son works, his wife is a stay-at-home mom. And just to give them a break in between, the poster tends to babysit their 3-year-old son twice a week. That sounds like a really nice gesture, doesn’t it?
But things started spiraling a little because of a rule that the daughter-in-law had set up. She wants to be present at every “first” thing that the kid experienced. However, her definition of “first” includes the most mundane things like playing with a new toy or going to the park. And without doing these things, there's nothing else that OP can do with him.
But the strange thing is that she herself never does these things with the kid. OP also wondered what they have been doing all day long at home, because whenever she mentioned doing anything, the mother would say she wanted to be there. But later, she never did it. Now, the kid ends up just sitting at the poster’s house, doing nothing and getting bored. It’s obvious that she doesn’t like seeing him this way.
So, she told the mom that she should relax the first rule a bit. Well, the woman wasn’t happy to hear this. She said that the grandma was “trying to take memories and special moments away from her”. OP replied that she was not trying to overstep, but a bored 3-year-old is a lot to handle.
And when the poster said she can’t babysit with the stringent rule, the mother accused her of blackmailing her. That sounds quite ridiculous. But OP was probably confused by it, so she vented online and sought people’s opinions.
Image credits: shurkin_son / Freepik (not the actual photo)
People were quite shocked by the daughter-in-law's behavior. They said that she should be grateful she's getting a free babysitter, but she's just making things worse for everyone. They also mentioned that the poster should tell her to do all the things with the kid and only then leave him with her.
But more than anything, people online were concerned about the 3-year-old child. They felt that he's being restricted by his mother, bored most of the time, and not given the opportunity to gain new experiences. To get expert insight, Bored Panda interviewed Anjali Abigail Vipparti, a teacher mentor at a non-profit organization, Enabling Leadership, who also has experience working with kids.
She said, “Not giving the child a plethora of sensory stimulation will stunt their growth as 80% to 90% of an individual's brain grows between the developmental ages of 0 and 5.” Well, it seems that the netizens' concern was rightly placed about the kid in the story.
Anjali Abigail also added that if a child's experiences are limited, they might fall behind academically and experience many issues in socializing with other kids their age. It seems that the mother is actually hampering the kid’s development by imposing all these restrictions on him.
Many folks pointed out that she can’t be with him 24/7, so she needs to give the grandma some freedom when she's babysitting him. Anjali Abigail stressed that the parent should be more flexible with the rules or the kid might not get more experiences and learn new things.
Some of the commentators also highlighted that if she wants to be present for every small milestone, then she should start doing these activities with the kid herself. They found it illogical that she was neither doing the right things necessary for the child nor letting the grandma do it. And honestly, our hearts go out to the little kid, who doesn’t even know what's happening.
We asked Anjali Abigail about the impact it would have if he's not exposed to stimulating activities. She informed us, “Their grasping power or capacity to be introduced to new things without anxiety reduces significantly. Kids can also experience social awkwardness and then, they don’t open up easily.”
Well, after understanding the impact, it seems like the mother should really think about her child before setting up the rules. Wouldn’t you agree? Feel free to jot down your thoughts in the comments below.
People said that the woman should be grateful to the poster, but they were more worried about how the restrictions would impact the child's mental health
