One would like to think that the tool used for humans to communicate should be a rather simple one, along the lines of Newspeak, where everything is simplified, and there’s no place for cumbersome nuance. However, neither people nor the languages we use are without their intricacies, so in all actuality, the tool for communication is nothing but incomplex. Starting with basics like your and you’re and ending with hidden meanings disguised in similar-sounding pronunciations, a language never ceases to amaze and baffle. But, as with all life’s entanglements, it is best to just have a laugh if something is beyond and above you. Or, on the other hand, you feel like you’re the only one who understands what’s truly happening; in that case, you can giggle devilishly to yourself at other people’s incompetencies. It is not very nice, though, but we are all guilty of that, am I right?
Anyhoo, we are here to talk about grammar jokes and puns, so why not adhere to the topic at hand instead of exploring the depths of the human condition? So, although you’ve been learning and using languages your whole life, there’s always something to be stumped by, and there’s always something to have a laugh at. Just check out these glorious language jokes! Some of them are pretty basic, while others require a certain deeper degree of understanding of the mechanics of a language. No matter the case, though, all of these grammar puns are beyond hilarious and, at times, even enlightening! So many wordplays, so little time! And time is precious, so why don’t we skip this gabble and just go straight to the smart jokes, shall we? They are exactly where they are supposed to be - a smidgen down below. Once you are there, vote for the best language jokes and share this smart article with your friends!
#1
A linguistics professor was lecturing in his English class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no
language in which a double positive can form a negative."
language in which a double positive can form a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up: "Yeah, right!"
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#2
My wife: "You need to do more chores around the house."
Me: "Can we change the subject?"
My wife: "Ok, more chores around the house need to be done by you."
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#3
Why do sperm cells look like commas and apostrophes?
They often interrupt periods and lead to contractions.
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#4
Grammar is the difference between: knowing your s**t and knowing you're s**t.
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#5
“Let’s eat Grandma!”
“Let’s eat, Grandma!”
Punctuation saves lives.
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#6
What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of the paws. The other is a pause at the end of a clause.
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#7
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
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#8
Double negatives are a big no-no.
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#9
What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
Short.
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#10
Did you hear the one about the pregnant woman who went into labor and started shouting, “Couldn’t! Wouldn’t! Shouldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”?
She was having contractions.
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#11
How do you comfort a grammar snob?
“There, their, they’re.”
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#12
When I was a kid, my teacher looked at me and said, "Name two pronouns!" I replied, "Who, me?"
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#13
What begins with T, ends with T and has T in it?
A teapot.
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#14
Is there a word that uses all the vowels including y?
Unquestionably.
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#15
Synonym rolls: just like grammar used to make.
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#16
Proper capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
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#17
Hyphenated and Non-Hyphenated. Ah, the ironies of English!
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#18
English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
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#19
Why is nostalgia like grammar?
We find the present tense and the past perfect.
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#20
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
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