Weddings are all about the bride and the groom. After all, everyone gets together to celebrate their union and their love for each other on their special day. So, whatever they decide for the wedding is canon. It’s kinda sorta like an unwritten rule.
So, when your friends start throwing in their two cents and telling you your wedding sucks or whatever, most will agree and will support your decision to tell them that it’s, like, their opinion, man and they just have to deal with it.
But sometimes they make us doubt. And that leads to a post on the Am I The A-Hole subreddit, like this one did where a bride asked if she is right to not change her wedding theme just because some of her friends pushed for a different one.
More Info: Reddit
Many agree that weddings are all about the about-to-be-weds, so anyone's two cents are appreciated, but not necessary in such cases
Image source: pxhere (not the actual photo)
Redditor u/WitchyGothLove, a 24-year-old woman with whom Bored Panda got in touch, recently came over to the Am I The A-Hole subreddit to share a confrontation she had with some of her friends.
For context, OP is getting married soon. Specifically, the wedding date is set for Halloween because OP herself (as well as her partner, a 30-year-old male) are gothic in style. They even got a house together that’s reminiscent of the home the Addams family lived in. So, they went for a full goth approach to the wedding too.
Needless to say, OP is pretty excited about it all. Most of all, she loved her wedding dress, which is a black ball gown with a lot of lace details and a corset back. There’s also gonna be a lace cape and black tiara.
Well, some still reach for their change, like this woman's friends who disagreed with her wedding theme and even asked her to choose a different one
Image source: WitchyGothLove
However, when she showed it to her friends, they weren’t all that thrilled. In their eyes, it seems over the top and actually a bit too scary for their taste. They were afraid it would freak people out, and hence pushed for a more traditional look.
A little back and forth later, OP ended up putting her foot down, saying she won’t change a thing and they don’t have to come if that’s the case. But it did make OP doubt her decision, so she turned to Reddit's r/AITA community for some perspective.
Image source: WitchyGothLove
Image source: Curtis Poe (not the actual photo)
"I asked for [my friends'] opinions on the dress because I want to make sure that I look amazing. (Insecurity hit me hard). I thought if it scared them into not going, maybe more guest would follow suit," elaborated OP.
The post blew up, and so OP provided a short update and responded to some of the commenters. In her post, she added that she’s thankful for the massive support she’s gotten from the community. No, nothing has been changed in the wedding, no, she won’t show the dress because her fiance is on Reddit and he’s not supposed to see the dress, and she clarified that costumes are optional due to venue rules.
It goes without saying that Redditors were all in favor of OP doing her thing. In fact, some even expressed how they’d like to attend a wedding like hers because it’s awesome and unique. So, NTA.
Well, folks online were having none of it, and cheered OP and her goth-themed wedding on
The overall theme of many of the replies was “it’s your wedding, you do you.” OP did elaborate that it’s just this handful of friends that were against the idea, but OP’s family is excited about the theme as it’s gonna feel like a ball. Even her grandma was all for it, as it felt like she’s gonna be reliving something like her prom again.
Others pointed out that these don’t sound like friends, by the looks of things. Besides, suggesting not going “over the top” while having a traditional wedding gown could cost upwards of $5,000—oh yeah, that is not lavish at all!
While people do understand that adding “horror” elements to a wedding might not be the best idea—maybe someone has a weak heart—the commenters still showed respect for OP’s choices. And OP took the opportunity to elaborate that the drinks would be the only “horrific” thing. Besides, folks were free to dress formally, as per venue rules.
Whatever the case, NTA. The community has spoken! Here is the post, just take a look at it—they have truly spoken. Just as well, OP told Bored Panda that her custom wedding dress had just arrived and her grandmother also has hers ready for the wedding.
Lastly, we've asked Witchy if she had any advice on hosting a wedding with a goth or other non-traditional themes. And she had this to say:
"Be crafty, a lot of decor, my invitations and flowers were DYI. Not many places offer a goth or Halloween wedding decor where I live. So, I have spent many hours on DYI projects and making sure it actually looks great."
And before you scurry off to another article, tell us your thoughts about this and share what were the best themes for weddings that you had the honor to attend in the comment section below!
Frustrated by friendship or social drama like this? Visit our Family Dynamics Hub for expert-backed guides on handling toxic friendships, setting boundaries, and healing.