“I Had No Idea I Was Loved So Deeply”: 50 Phone Finds That Changed Relationships

His mom texted him and a notification popped up on his TV, I had to see it after I saw she was talking about me, saying not so great things because she was mad I set a boundary around what amount of drinking I'm comfortable with my 4 year old being around before we will choose to leave gatherings. She's an alcoholic, and got really drunk and really mad when I set that boundary. but I saw that he really stuck up for me, and called her out on being wrong. he say some really caring things about me, and it really pushed me to see how much he's come to trust me, and how far he's come with his own drinking. he's grown to really value not hurting other people with indulging in your own vices, and it was really big in showing me how much he's changed and seriously how much therapy has been helping him.

Way back into the seventies I found a letter she had written about me to her older sister. It was so flattering. Tall, handsome, smart funny and a good kisser with good equipment.

Made me feel really good when she gave her approval and lil sister and I became an item. Still knocking boots 50 years later.

I found a hidden folder in his phone with screenshots of other girls’ Instagram stories,girls we both knew. Some were mutual friends. None of it was overtly sexual, but the captions he added to the pics were… gross. Like “she doesn’t even know what I’d do to her” kind of stuff.

It felt violating. Not because he cheated, but because I saw a side of him that made my skin crawl, objectifying women he smiled at in real life, including people I cared about, was friends with and that he interacted with on the daily.

I never said a word. Just quietly started planning my exit, told my friends. Have not seen him since, he deleted socials, no idea what happened to him.

So I struggle with a lot of things physically and mentally which is important in regard to what I found. There was one day my fiancé had asked me to look for something in their notes app. I noticed one that was titled “help them” and I let my curiosity get the better of me. I absolutely fell in love with what I found. Inside of it was my fully detailed care plan that my psych team had given them for when I have my extremely bad days. It had everything from what foods i consider safe to how to get my service dog to perform tasks with them directing her instead of me to even which meds/treatments are going to work during what. In the past my parents have been the only ones to take my care plans seriously. I’ve never told my fiancé to this day that I saw that (and this was nearly two years ago that I saw it) but since then it just solidified for me and my family that I’m 100% marrying the right person.

Notes keeping track of how long since we last had a fight, when to pick the next one if we haven’t had one by then, and potential things to pick a fight about. She didn’t believe in a relationship going more than 4 weeks without a fight.

Also a list of my passwords she’d managed to uncover.

I saw her Instagram DM history to my best friends from school about a week before my birthday. I knew she was planning some sort of surprise for my 21st but getting all of my childhood best friends back from when I was 5 years old up to secondary school and getting them to come and surprise me by knocking on my door BEFORE we went downstairs together and there was a full on surprise party with everyone I knew at university was the icing on the cake. Yes I knew one or two of them were coming so it wasn’t completely a surprise but I wasn’t ready for the scale of it (she got people who’d I’d just mentioned in passing and who’d she’d never met before to come!). Definitely a massive boost to an already very strong relationship, it showed me just how much she listens and just how much she cares.

Text messages to a female friend essentially professing his love for her. He was a horrible person who did awful things to me but those messages to her were a big punch to the gut until I found hard evidence of him actually physically cheating.

Edit to add: he is my ex, broke up in 2019

I really try hard to respect my girlfriend’s privacy, but I have super vision and read whole paragraphs in like one glance. One time I glanced over and happened to see her telling one of her best friends how much she loved being with me and how safe and happy she felt.

A decade of horrible relationships still gives me the scaries sometimes but I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Been together since ‘17. Had a gut feeling to check his phone but he always was guarded when it come to it. He fell asleep one day with YouTube open, looked through his instagram and for the past six months he was in a group chat with two other people sending each other videos of using the restroom in diapers and exchanging feet pics. All for amounts of money that never exceeded 10$. No idea how to even approach this.

Not me but my Sister In Law. Said her then boyfriend (now husband). Handed her his phone to check the weather or an order status or something menial like that. Said when he handed it to her he accidentally left it open in his investing app. And she didn’t poke around too much but saw the obvious 3-4 million in his account. At about 35 years old. And that was just one app probably not his entire portfolio.

She never mentioned it but said a month or two later as things got more serious between them he said “hey we need to have a talk”. And she was worried. But said “ok, what is it?” And he said “I’m privately wealthy, and I want to marry you, so if we in fact continue this relationship, you probably don’t ever have to worry about money.”

Fast forward a few years, they are married. Have a kid. My sister in law makes 6-figures working in finance. He quit his job but opened a business doing custom wood working (which was his hobby prior to quitting his job, good for him). So everyone stays busy. He is a very cool guy. Grounded. Just has a lot of money. My wife’s side of the family is quite successful. And this post makes me realize that I’m probably the lowest income earner of any of her siblings or Her siblings spouses. She has 4 siblings. Sad for me. Haha.

A couple months into dating a girl I was sitting in the passenger seat of her car waiting for her to come back from running inside her house when I saw a text come through on her phone that said, "Happy anniversary, baby. Can't wait to see you tonight!" So, yeah, that ended.

We had been together for almost 2 years. We were on vacation with my parents, and my phone had died, so I asked to borrow his to look something up online that my mom had been wanting. Right as his phone leaves his hands, a message pops up from "my love" in Arabic. He knew I was bilingual, but I guess he forgot that Arabic is one of the 6 languages I speak.The messages were a mix of English and Arabic and the moment I saw the message, I opened the text thread and my heart dropped to my stomach. The messages went back almost the entire time we were together. I marked the message as unread and got out of the app. I was so enraged, I remember wishing he had just slept with her instead because seeing those messages burned so bad. I never saw him the same way again, and it took me years to get over him.

We ended things about a month later, and he had to explain to his mother why we weren't together. She messaged me later and apologized, "For my stupid son who can't seem to get it together." I ended up telling her what I saw, and she promised she'd never mention it, but she knew who the girl was and hates her to this day even though they didn't end up together. His parents still send me happy holiday messages now 10 years later.

Edit: she also knew he had a girlfriend.

Never went through a partner's phone.

But one time, an ex let me read his emails to provide context to how crazy and mean his ex wife was to him. *He wanted me to read them.*

I found several exchanges between him and a few of his exes. Turns out HE was the a*****e. He played victim in every disagreement. Called them b*tches and then wondered why they didn't want to ever see him again. He contacted one of his ex's family members after she blocked him, trying to reach out to her. Absolutely insane he volunteered that to me.

It didn't take long for him to do the same manipulative s**t to me. Or perhaps I was more aware of his tactics.

A message to "just an old college" friend that she was "too selfish to be a wife and mother and I wish I just had myself to worry about". Everything made so much sense after that. I'm now a happily divorced single dad that has made more progress in 4 years than I did in the 10 before them with her.

After she deleted every female from my phone while I slept despite her being the one who cheated. Things were great for a month then curiosity got the best of me and I found out that she still had him on Snapchat saved under a woman's name. It was like the ending of a soap opera. No anger or yelling. Just acceptance as I handed her phone back to her. All the counseling that I needed because males have fragile egos and I needed to work past my issues. Meanwhile I discovered what the term gaslighting means with a first hand demonstration.

She left a facebook messenger conversation between her and her friend open on her computer. I'd use her computer when was at class but it was her complaining how much time I spent at her apartment and that I was smothering her by always being around. I was surprised by this as she'd have a breakdown and accuse me of abandoning her when I'd leave to stay at my own place for a few days.

Photo of myself shirtless crudely edited to look like I was making out with Shadow the Hedgehog.

Some s**t about how every boy should be circumcised without anaesthesia to teach them respect. Noped outta that relationship then and there.

My ex told me not worry about these girl friends of his in our friend group. The thing is these women were overly friendly to me like the super nice but you can tell it wasn’t genuine when talking to me. My intuition is usually right but I ignored it until one day I had to use his computer and I looked through this weird folder with a suspicious name and in the folder were 100s of nudes and videos of them together or just the women he told me not to worry about and I was trippin 😂 he didn’t know I saw that. I just packed my bags and left and never went back and blocked him

She told her colleagues and friends she divorced me because I was a*****e.

I wasn’t. She didn’t.

She just wanted to play around in her circle without being judged by pretending she was single.

No one ever asked me, I just got blocked.