35 Women Reveal What Happened After They Gave The "Creep" A Chance

There was a guy that came into my work (restaurant) a few times a week for lunch. He did this for a little over a month so he became a regular. He had asked me out every time I brought his bill. He always asked in a lighthearted way and never seemed upset or anything when I turned him down. I assumed that after the first few asks, he maybe thought of it as more of an inside joke at that point. Like he was just asking now to make light of the previous rejections and to make it less awkward or something. He always gave me weird vibes but seemed nice enough so I thought I might have just been making assumptions because of his appearance and wasn't being fair.

One time that he asked, I decided randomly to agree and give him a shot. *"why not"* I thought. He was always super kind and I had gotten rather used to the awkwardness I felt being around him. He seemed so excited and I asked him to leave his number on the receipt and I would call/text him when I wasn't busy to set something up. So it wasn't really much of a joke to keep asking me out, I mostly figured that though tbh. A few days later I hadn't text him yet to set anything up or even give him my number and I get a text only a few min after walking into my house after I got home from work. It said, "hey! It's ***** from ***** ******. I know it's a long shot but I'm free tonight and bored, wanna hang out? If you're free that is!"

I asked him how he got my number. He said I gave it to him the night I agreed. I absolutely know I didn't. I got really creeped out but decided not to confront him about it and just play like I'm a ditz and believed that "I must have done that, I just didn't remember because it was busy." I told him that I wasn't free to hang out that night, that I was going to be working later to help cover a shift and then would be pretty pooped by the time I was off (I only ever saw him come in for lunch not ever dinner shifts). A few minutes passed before he responded. He said, "why are you lying to me?". I just responded with "what? Lol". He said, "I know you are home. If you didn't want to hang out tonight you could have just said so." Alarm bells rang in my head. I thought, *there's no way he's outside my house. He is just trying to call my bluff. Creepy but not a full blown stalker.* But I felt exposed. I felt the crawling on my skin that only burns into you when someone is staring at you. The vulnerable pulses that are felt only by prey.

I looked out through the blinds of my bedroom and he was parked right outside my house. I could see his face lit up by the phone screen. He was so close. I texted him and said, "ahaha you caught me! How did you know I was bluffing? I'm sorry. I do want to hang out soon I'm just not feeling up to it tonight." And called 911. The police showed up and went up to his car and talked to him for a bit. He drove away a few minutes later and then the officers came to my door. They told me that they acted like a random neighbor complained about a strange car. They didn't implicate anyone but made it seem like it was an older person, so probably not me. They took his plate information but asked him politely to move so he didn't upset anyone in the neighborhood and he complied. I went to my friends house that night and filed a restraining order the next morning.

I later found out that he most likely got my number from the shift sheet behind the hostess counter, because several co workers had seen him (at different times) snooping back there and kindly stopped him. He, I guess, grabbed a roll of silverware claiming that the server hadn't left him any and he didn't want to bother anyone because he knew they were busy so just grabbed it himself. This stopped anyone from suspecting him of anything odd. And that his car had been parked at my house almost every night (neighbors security camera). I don't know how he got my address but I assume he must have followed me. He must have been full on stalking me for a while. He did come into my work a day or two later for lunch acting like everything was normal. I immediately went and got my manager and she informed him that he had a restraining order against him preventing him from eating there because he would be in violation of it. I had already changed my phone number so I don't know if he tried to text me and I didn't sleep at my house for weeks, but I never saw him again after that.

And I often find myself thinking back to that time and wondering how much more did he do and for how long that I don't know about. Like, maybe he stalked me long before he started coming into the restaurant, and only started coming in there because he felt "more brave" than before to interact with me. How much of my private moments throughout my life were actually not private? Also, I have never once stopped feeling scared that he might have still stalked me and knows where I am even now, but is keeping himself hidden. I doubt it, but the fear is still there. I have never felt comfortable being alone. Ever.

Most of this would have still probably happened even if I didn't agree to give him a chance. But if he hadn't slipped up about having my phone number when he shouldn't, I would have gone out somewhere with him and who knows how badly that could have ended.

**IF YOUR GUT FEELING TELLS YOU HE'S A CREEP THEN HE IS MOST DEFINITELY A CREEP! DON'T LET THE "NICE GUYS" GUILT TRIP AND GASLIGHT YOU INTO DOUBTING YOUR OWN INTUITION WITH THEIR NARRATIVE!**

A few years ago, I went to a brewery to meet a guy on a date for the first time. The waiter began a conversation and asked me if I was expecting anyone else. I told him I was on a blind date and hadn't met the guy before.

The waiter asked me if I wanted to set up a code word. Since they didn't serve milk stouts, if I ordered one from him, he would know something is up and would call me back to have me sign the receipt instead. The waiter kept checking on me frequently...

Eventually, I did order a milk stout... when it came time for the bill, I asked for it to be split. My date put his drinks on my bill.

When the waiter came back, he told me he had the drinks removed; it was on the house. When my date asked me what that was all about, I told him the waiter had told me there was something wrong with my card, so I needed to go to bar with him.

I waited awhile and then left for my car. The date was still there. He made a comment about how he was waiting for a good bye hug. I told him, no thank you and that my car was in the opposite direction.

Moments later, he sent me horrendous text messages.

..and thank you, John. You may have saved my life that day.

On our first date I ordered a beer. It came to the table super frothy. I was distracted for a moment but when I looked at it again there were very clear “drip” marks in the foam like something had been dropped in it. I made up some excuse about not feeling well and got out of there.

Oops! Can’t leave. My dumb**s drove and my car was valeted. I, VERY uncomfortably, got the car from valet and we both got in. He asked me to stop at a gas station so he could buy smokes on the way. Thank god because I knew going to his house was not a good idea. As soon as he got out at the station I peeled out and left him there. I never should have let him in my car, but I panicked. I didn’t know what he was capable of.

This was 15+ years ago. I’m now happily married to the best thing that ever happened to me.

He showed up to my house without telling me beforehand and demanded a kiss before he left. He kissed with his eyes open and had cold, dead eyes. He was also a self proclaimed nazi and told me “I don’t like black people, but you’re okay.”

This was in high school so luckily I learned fast to trust my gut when it came to guys.

Went on a first date for just drinks with a guy, and red flags were immediate. Didn’t look anything like his profile, and got handsy almost as soon as we sat down. I wasn’t into him at all, but we had a shared interest in horror novels, so I decided to extend the date into dinner. During dinner, he drank several Old Fashions while I nursed a single beer. He then told me he thought we were soulmates, and he thought we were going to fall in love. He also told me his ex-girlfriend was going to get an abortion the next day.

At the end of the date, his portion of the bill was significantly more than my portion because of all his drinks, but he asked me to pay half, which I did. On top of that, he gave me s**t for driving to the date even though it was only a mile from my house (I didn’t want to walk in hot weather in my nice date dress and I had twisted my ankle earlier that week). But even after giving me s**t for driving, he asked me to give him a lift home. Which I did.

Once we were in front of his place, he refused to get out of my car unless I went inside with him for a night cap. I said absolutely not. He begged me to just enjoy a drink on his front porch. I said no. I told him to get out of my car. He finally did.

The next day, he texted me telling me that was the best date he’d ever had and he couldn’t wait to see me again. I told him no thank you, and walked away with one lesson learned: I need to just say no from the beginning.

At the end of a weird and terrible date, he asked me for a hug as I was turning to leave. I thought, "whatever gets this over with." As I was pulling away, he forcibly grabbed the back of my head and shoved his tongue in my mouth before I was able to break free. The next morning I had a three page email in my inbox telling me all the things that are wrong with me and why he is not interested in a second date.

After a few dates he started to get way too serious. I told him calmly and honestly that I wasn't ready for a serious relationship and he deserved to be with someone who was. He completely flipped s**t and after a bit of name calling I stood up and started to leave the bar. He then said "you should watch yourself in the future. Especially when getting into your car..."

I was extremely paranoid for months after. Would check my backseat and under my vehicle. Never saw him again so just an empty threat, but not a fun time. That was like 15 years ago. Yeah he's still single.

The dude in the flat across from mine started off as a really nice guy. Introduced himself, offered meals when he'd cooked too much. Just a great guy all round.

Within a few weeks, it was made clear that he was an alcoholic.

I have a recovering brother, so I really sympathised with him. I went out of my way to sit with him, and eventually called him an ambulance when he fitted from withdrawals (UK, so calling an ambulance is free). This carried on for a little while, with me sitting with him two or three times a week, waiting for an ambulance.

One night after he started fitting, he kept grabbing my breasts. I was already on the phone to the ambulance service, but the woman heard me telling him to stop and sent police as well.

He was carted off, and just like usual, I grabbed his keys and told him to knock for them the next morning.

Well, the nrxt time I looked after him, the groping got worse. And then slowly so did my life.

Suddenly I had fires set outside my windows, and mutilated rat corpses left on my door step.

The police were called after every incident, and I got to know one policeman who was put on my case really well. He suggested I put up cameras, so I did.

There was footage of the neighbour standing outside in the yard at 3am, just staring into my window, multiple nights in a row. Terrifying, but not illegal.

Well, two weeks after that, my neighbour snapped. There were builders in the garden next to ours, and they apparently woke him up at 4pm. He ran out with a kitchen knife and stabbed two of the builders and the neighbour's dog (everyone survived). He also slashed a whole bunch of tyres on our street.

When the police came to search the dude's flat, my policeman friend told me (off the books) that the neighbour had been faking being an alcoholic the entire time. He'd get in the ambulance, ride to,the hospital, and then check himself out and walk home.

Also, they found half a dozen decomposing rats in his bathtub
They'd been mutilated. They later found a bloody hammer under his bed.

You'd think him being arrested would be the end of it, but noooo. He put my name, picture, address, and telephone number on a prostitution site. I had men aggressively hounding me for sex multiple times an hour for two entire weeks before I just cut all ties and fled the city.

Last I heard, he was in jail for the GBH, but that was a few years ago now.

Yeah. Never gonna make the same mistake again.

I bought him a coffee one time and we chatted about our music tastes. Three days later, I was sitting in my dorm and I got a text from him that was just a selfie. I sent one back and the conversation got really boring so I sent him a snap of a black screen. He responded, “are you in a dark place?” And I said “yeah lol”. His response was “well you’ll have to leave soon because you have class in (insert building with insert professor) at 6:00.”

I literally never told him anything about my classes so he just f*****g stalked me until he learned my entire schedule. It turns out he was a serial creep preying on freshman girls.

He tried negging me all night and when he asked me how many siblings I have, I told him and included the info that one passed away a few years prior. He asked me if I had killed my sibling.

If they give you the creeps, they're not worth a chance. Sorry, not sorry.

He had terrible hygiene. I was 16, he was old enough to buy beer for my friends. He had a friend who had some sort of made up gang, who threatened to kill me if I ever left him. I stayed with him longer than I should have. He would follow me to school on the city bus and then walk around leering at women and pinching his nipples. I tried to break up with him and he bought me Looney Tunes jewelry and insisted we were engaged.

He finally had to go out of town for some family stuff and stayed gone for months, so I considered us broken up and I moved on. When he came back, he acted crazy. He would go to my job and follow me around and try to corner me in the bathroom.

His dad was the chief of police at a university and knew I was 16. My parents also knew about the relationship, I feel like some parent should have intervened to keep me from feeling trapped in that relationship.

This guy was handsome but way too into me for knowing nothing about me. It wasn’t like when we spoke I was an open book or felt a strong connection that would lead me to want to share info with him. This was not a “I feel like I’ve known this man forever” connection. I just thought this was normal dating but had a gut feeling something was off…he talked to me like I’d been his girlfriend for months. We went on 3 dates…never even had sex. After 3rd date I had made my decision based on our short time getting to know one another and let him know I had no interest in continuing to date and that I didn’t see us being compatible long term. He then locked me in his car, proceeded to ask if I wanted to move to California with him (wtf), and started crying/begging me to “work this out.” I tried to be very nice but it got to the point I was scared and wasn’t sure how this was going to go since he was virtually a STRANGER, so I hit his dashboard and said if he didn’t let me out of the car immediately I was calling the police. Then he threatened to kill himself if I didn’t spend the night with him at his house…I’d never even been to this man’s house. He finally let me out after like an hour or two but stayed in the parking lot of my apartment almost the entire night and called me non-stop…about a month later he texted me out of the blue a reaaaaaaally long paragraph apologizing profusely and saying if I ever change my mind to call him. I just said thanks for the apology and wished him well. Hope he’s doing okay but I wanted no part of that.

When I broke up with him, he took a giant s**t on the hood of my car a week later.....

Edit- please for the love of God stop with the amber heard jokes

I got bad vibes from a guy. On our second date I had to cancel because my dog was sick and had to go to the vet. I told him I was sorry. He asked to meet me at the vet, I told him no but we could reschedule because I was really stressed out. He showed up anyway which was really weird but I didn’t think much of it even though I hadn’t told him which vet it was, but I was so focused on my dog I didn’t really register it beyond a fleeting thought. I didn’t want him there but he was and he tried to be supportive but I was panicking and I barely knew him and it was weird. I kind of ghosted him after because of the vibes. I don’t like to ghost but he sketched me out and guys like that don’t always take overt rejection well.

A short while later he asked to go on another date, I told him no thanks and that I wasn’t interested. He said he was coming over to my house (he had picked me up for our first date. I know, I know). I told him I had moved, which was true. He said he was coming anyway, I was like wtf? No. How? I told him he was scaring me and not to bother.

A few mins later I got a picture of my car. And my house. And my window. He had found my new house.

Apparently Snapchat had a feature where it just… SHOWED people your EXACT location?? And he was just watching my movements over town? What an awful feature from an equally awful app. I told him that was weird and scary and I slept with a knife for weeks. F**k Snapchat.

It’s been over a decade now and he’s still harassing me on every online platform he can find me on. He sends me incel memes about being rejected. Luckily we are not in the same city anymore (that I know of)

I walked in on him peeing in my washing machine after letting him in my home for some reason

He got very obsessed with me, I had to be straight up rude to get him to leave me alone because he wouldn't understand when I asked nicely.

He later self harmed on his own wrists and went around telling people to ask me why he did that

Edit : might be relevant, but I was 17 and he was 26

He invited me to dinner with his friends. Well, his friends happened to be his entire family and they were already halfway through their meal when I arrived (on time).

Then, when I tried to excuse myself to leave, he insisted on following me out to the parking lot and physically would not let me get into my car. As I reached for the handle, he grabbed me by the face and stuck his tongue in my mouth.

This was easily 10 years ago and I still shudder thinking about it.

He was super touchy from the beginning and insisted on coming back to my dorm room on the first date even after I said I wasn’t comfortable with it. He was very controlling and demanded that I tell him what I was doing and who I was with even though I had only been on two dates with him. He constantly pushed my boundaries and on the third date he sexually assaulted me.

I blocked him on all social media and his phone number. He looked up my class schedule and would wait outside my dorm entrance at 7:45am on the days he knew I had class in the morning, just to try and convince me to sleep with him.

Thinking about it makes me sick. The red flags were blatant and I ignored them. I wish I could go back in time but alas I can’t. I’ve spent the last year and a half picking up the pieces from that night.

Long story short is trust your gut- it’s always right.

I had a bad vibe but my friend told me he was a “good guy.” So we went on a date and he asked to drive my car. He curbed my rims and talked about how he was fired unfairly from his job. The next weekend I avoided his calls and instead went out to dinner with friends. While I was gone, he broke into my apartment. My neighbors and the cops were waiting outside when I got home. I spent the night at my moms, he showed up at 0300 when the my let him out and was trying to get in a window. Wonderful officer spent the rest of the night in the driveway. Fast forward a couple weeks and he shows up at my work, mopes over to me and hands me folded papers.

It was 8-10 handwritten front and back notebook papers where he alternated between telling me I was the love of his life to why he hated me and wished I would die. I was terrified, security escorted him away.

Never saw him again but found out later he did the same thing to some girl in Spokane but he was able to actually get in, beat her and landed her in the hospital.

EDIT: The friend was dating my best-friend and the “good guy” was his cousin. I think he really wanted us to hit it off so the 4 of us could all hang out together or something?? He was shocked by the actions of his cousin but did tell me later that he had “thought he changed.” They’re not longer dating and haven’t talked to him in years and years! This happened 20 years ago in the PNW.