Some folks have an extremely hard time letting go of the past and maturing enough to find forgiveness. Not being able to move on and actively resenting someone day-in and day-out is a magnificent way to harm your emotional and mental health. You know it. We know it. Most people know it. And yet… here we are!
Redditor u/PhobyArt shared a very amusing revenge story about her cheating ex-fiancé. As it turns out, even a decade later, he’s still mad about the way that he got back his cheap, Amazon-bought engagement ring. Scroll down for the full story and to see what the internet thought about the entire situation.
"My ex-fiancé was a narcissistic attention seeker. As some of the comments distilled from my post, he most likely keeps it [the ring] to trot out as a 'woe is me' talking point. While I believe he moved on from me a long time ago, I don't think he will ever move on from suckling the sweet nectar of self-absorption at the now decade long pity party he has thrown for himself," u/PhobyArt, the author of the post, told Bored Panda.
Some people have a hard time letting go of old grudges, especially when it comes to romance
Image credits: Satura_ (not the actual photo)
One woman made the internet laugh with her tale of revenge. She used her welding skills to teach her cheating fiancé a lesson that he still remembers even after a decade
Image credits: Daniel Moises Magulado (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Movidagrafica Barcelona (not the actual photo)
Image credits: PhobyArt
"If I could give my younger self some advice back then, it would be this: it's okay to be alone"
We were curious how the OP got the idea to put the ring in a steel cube and then weld it shut in the first place. "I was in, I think, the beginning of the second semester of welding school and I remember getting a fresh flurry of texts from him about the ring," she told Bored Panda.
"This was becoming a daily occurrence mind you, and I had had it. I remember walking past the scrap bin at school while the texts were pouring in. I glanced in and saw one of the other students had tossed some ridiculously thick steel in there. The pieces were vaguely square-ish and the idea just popped in my head," u/PhobyArt said.
"So, I fished out the material and tried to square up the pieces a bit better. I was a baby welder at the time so this was not some perfect cube, nor were the welds anything to write home about. I put some quick little bevels on the seams, laid down a few beads with a MIG gun and called it good." Meanwhile, we were interested to find out how someone would actually go about getting the ring out.
"Honestly, the welds were small and probably didn't get much penetration so a few hits with a cut-off wheel and a hand grinder and a modest vice to hold the cube and you could get the ring out perfectly unharmed," she explained to us.
According to the OP, by the time that she found out her ex had been cheating on her, she wasn't terribly surprised. "I was hurt, but not surprised. After nearly two years of what, in hindsight, were a plethora of red flags, it'd be a miracle if that was the only time he stepped out on me," u/PhobyArt told us.
"If I could give my younger self some advice back then, it would be this: it's okay to be alone. I know for me the scariest part of leaving was feeling like it was my fault I didn't find happily ever after. I was 19 when we met and he was my first relationship, I stayed because I had stars in my eyes and no idea what a real relationship meant," she said.
"He had actually been dead set against me starting welding school, but luckily I can be stubborn and I pulled out the gumption on that front. I found myself and my path in welding and it's largely what made me realize I deserved better in life. My glass slipper ended up being a steel toe boot, but I suppose in the end I did get my fairy tale ending."
Image credits: Photo Dudes (not the actual photo)
It takes a lot of self-awareness to learn from past mistakes instead of holding on to anger
Living in constant anger (like the OP’s ex is) can lead to a wide range of ailments, from metabolic diseases and cardiovascular problems to digestive issues. Even if you’re not doing it for the sake of personal growth, it’s worth letting go of anger for the sake of your health. Seeing a therapist can help, as can living an active social life, getting lots of exercise, fixing your diet, meditating, and practicing gratitude.
The OP’s revenge story is brilliant. She demonstrated some outside-the-box thinking (pun intended) when she plopped the cheap engagement ring into a steel cube and welded it all up. Her idea was so powerful that now, even a decade later, her ex is still fuming.
“He's still mad as heck and likes to rant about the ordeal to this day. I regret nothing and am filled with joy knowing I've been irritating him for 10 years now,” redditor u/PhobyArt wrote.
You’d think that after so many years, the man would have made peace with what happened and come to terms that he got his ring back welded in some steel because he cheated on his fiancée. Alas!
The reality is that far from everyone is able to mature and learn important lessons from their lives. Life isn’t a script and people aren’t movie characters with plot lines centered on growth. It takes immense self-awareness, humility, and dedication to admit that you were wrong, you got what you deserved, and work to improve yourself.
It is probably best not to keep your engagement ring if your partner gave it back to you after breaking up. After all, it’s a constant reminder of a failed relationship. And it’s not healthy to hang on to that kind of emotional baggage.
Image credits:Nicola Barts (not the actual photo)
You won't always get the full sum of money back if you want to return your engagement ring
Whether or not you can return the engagement ring to the store you bought it from will depend on the jewelry shop’s policy. For instance, ‘Weddings Bands & Co.’ notes that some shops are happy to accept full refunds of non-personalized rings. However, broadly speaking, most shops will give you only a partial refund.
“Most of the time, though, the engagement ring value is halved once you walk out of the jewelry shop with it. Regardless if your partner wore the ring or not, jewelry shops will consider it as a used one,” the company writes.
Other companies may accept the ring in exchange for credit. But if you bought the ring online, returning it may be more complicated. You’ll have to refer to the company’s return policy and probably get in touch with a rep to find out what you should do. In this case, the OP’s ex would have had to talk to Amazon… if he’d been able to get the ring out of the cube in the first place.
Alternatively, you can try to sell the ring to some other store. However, you may not get all of your money back. Jewelers and pawn shops will often pay you for what the materials are worth, not including the premium you paid for them. It helps if you’ve had the ring appraised so you know its actual worth beforehand, as some jewelers may want to take the item off your hands without giving you a fair price.
Or you can go the post-modern route and sell your symbol of a broken heart on a popular internet shop or even through social media. There, you’ll be able to set the price you want to get yourself.
Image credits: Anna Pou (not the actual photo)
There are numerous reasons why people cheat on their partners
But all of this brings us back to the root of the problem: cheating. If the OP’s ex hadn’t cheated on her and then hounded her for his Amazon-bought ring back, she wouldn’t have welded it in some metal, and he wouldn’t have to rage about the entire situation a decade after the fact.
‘Verywell Mind’ explains that, generally speaking, the reasons for cheating are numerous. “Men are more likely to have affairs than women and are often seeking more sex or attention. Men express their love in a more physical way—they often don't have the perfect ‘feeling words’ for their wives. So sex becomes an important path to connection and intimacy,” Sheri Stritof writes.
“If men aren't sexually satisfied (for instance, if their spouse declines sex often), they take that rejection to heart, and it can easily translate to feeling ‘unloved.’ In fact, men are more likely than women to cheat due to a feeling of insecurity. When women cheat, they're often trying to fill an emotional void,” she points out.
“Women frequently complain of disconnection from a spouse, and of the wish to be desired and cherished. Women are more likely to feel unappreciated or ignored, and seek the emotional intimacy of an extramarital relationship.”
Aside from being unhappy and dissatisfied both emotionally and sexually, some people cheat because they feel unappreciated, lack commitment, have issues with their body image, want revenge, or… are simply bored and have the opportunity to cheat.
Image credits: Ron Lach (not the actual photo)
Here's how the internet reacted to the welder's story and how she responded in turn
