30 “Dead Giveaways” That Your Relationship Is Toxic

Redditor u/icyqueen999 was very open with Bored Panda about the reasons why they decided to start up the thread in the first place.

"Firstly, I was inspired because I was going through a toxic relationship," they told us.

"I think my thread resonated with many people because they've all encountered such experiences in their lives," the OP said, adding that the topic must have "touched a part of them" that made them instinctively want to share their own experiences.

According to redditor u/icyqueen999, the strongest relationships are built on foundations that include trust, respect, and good communication. Those are the things that partners should value the most.

"Couples should be able to voice out their problems and find ways to get it fixed whether going to seek therapy or help from family or friends whom they can trust," the redditor shared.

"I believe my post helped a lot of people find meaning and ways to overcome such negativity in their relationships."

Moreover, the redditor noted that they "got lots of help" and feedback from all the other internet users. Some of the advice was very useful and genuinely helped them out in real-life. 

According to licensed clinical psychologist Holly Schiff, if you notice a red flag in your relationship, it’s essential that you communicate with your partner. Moreover, you could also speak to your family and friends to get their perspectives on the situation.

“I think it's just important to not be with yourself in your own head about this," Schiff told Today that an outsider’s perspective can help you get to grips with the current state of your relationship and whether you should try to figure it out or consider ending things.

Today explains that some of the relationship red flags to be wary of include inconsistent behavior, verbal abuse, mismatched relationship goals, and excessive jealousy. Something else to keep an eye out for is a history of infidelity, a lack of effort to get to know the people you care the most about in your life, and the relationship moving way too fast. Controlling behavior, gaslighting, and being secretive are also indications that you might be in a toxic relationship.

“If they’re doing things that make you feel insecure, that’s usually a red flag,” Jennifer Klesman, a licensed clinical social worker and therapist in Chicago, told Today that a partner twisting the truth is nothing like healthy conflict.

There is no alternative to transparency in romantic relationships. Either you’re open and honest with your partner about the most important things in your life or you’re not. However, there is a bit of a difference between secrecy and privacy. Secrecy is what you want to avoid. Meanwhile, the desire for privacy is something that’s completely natural and everyone should respect.

Broadly speaking, if some piece of information affects your partner, then you should absolutely share it with them. Try to put yourself in their shoes and see whether you yourself would like to know about what you’re hiding. However, if the info doesn’t really impact them, feel free to keep it to yourself if you’d like.

Say if you’re working on the Next Great American Novel, you might want to keep it a secret before you’ve put in the time and effort to get the first draft finished. On the flip side, you might feel that you need your partner’s support and decide to tell them how you’re struggling with the dialogues in Chapter 2.

But if, for example, your health is suffering and you’re having to run tests at the hospital, this is definitely something that your loved one should know because it massively impacts them. Similarly, you shouldn’t hide something as important as losing your job or that you’re constantly irritated that your partner doesn’t pull their own weight around the house when it comes to basic chores. You might feel embarrassed or uncomfortable, but it’s always best to discuss these issues aloud instead of hiding them away or letting them fester.