The dating world as an adult is an incredibly difficult one: finding the time to go on dates, trying to get to know the person while looking out for red flags and trying to understand if you’re compatible. If you are a single parent, it’s even harder. Your new partner and child must be at least somewhat compatible so they don’t fight each other daily.
Reddit user u/throwwra__fix399 details his story, wondering if he is a jerk for telling his girlfriend not to order his daughter around.
More info: Reddit Part 1 | Reddit Part 2
Finding love as a single parent is more difficult than you may imagine as the person has to be perfect for you and your children
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual image)
A father on Reddit wanted to know if he is a jerk for not allowing his girlfriend to control the way his daughter looks
Image credits: u/throwwra__fix399
His girlfriend and daughter got along pretty well, till OP came back from a trip and his daughter had been forced to wash off her "provocative" makeup before going out
Image credits: u/throwwra__fix399
Only 4 days after his initial post, OP came back with an update, although not a happy one
Image credits: ROMAN ODINTSOV (not the actual image)
Turns out she made OP's daughter wash off her makeup because she looked "like a sl*t," according to her
Image credits: u/throwwra__fix399
OP was having none of this and told her to leave his house, which she did later that evening
Image credits: u/throwwra__fix399
The dad specifies in the comments that he has no hang-ups with his daughter dressing however she wants
OP begins the story by saying that he has been with his current girlfriend for three years now, and six months ago, they moved in together. He mentions that he is a widower and a single parent and that he wanted to make sure that their relationship was serious before she moved in together with him and his daughter.
This had proved successful, as he says that “generally they get along pretty well.” He informed his girlfriend that he wasn’t looking for a stepmom as his daughter was already old enough not to need a new maternal figure in her life. He later clarified that his daughter is 16 years old.
The trouble in the story begins while OP had been away for two days on a camping trip, and his girlfriend stayed at home with the daughter. He had given his blessing for his daughter to go to a party while he was away, but when he came back, she told him that his girlfriend had ordered her around while he was gone. She was told to “wash her makeup off” and put “less provocative” makeup on before going out.
OP mentions that he became furious with his girlfriend. He told her that “she wasn't allowed to order my daughter around,” especially if he had allowed it before. This caused a huge fight, after which the girlfriend and the father barely talked.
Coming back with an update 4 days later, OP starts by saying that it isn’t a happy one. The following day after his initial post, he tried having a serious discussion about boundaries and their relationship with the girlfriend. The discussion got pretty heated, and OP tells us that the girlfriend revealed the reason for telling his daughter to wash her makeup off.
According to the girlfriend, she looked like a "sl*t." The father was having none of that and told her to pack her bags. She left later that night and they seemed to have broken up as OP says "I'll have to remain a single dad for a bit longer." Since she moved out, they haven’t talked at all, besides the girlfriend saying that she’ll pick up her things next week.
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual image)
If you’re a single parent, especially a single dad hoping to find love again one day - you are not alone, says DAD.info. They want to empower dads to find love by talking about the entire process.
The biggest practical problem for single parents looking for a relationship is a lack of time. It’s difficult enough to find time to get into the dating world without raising a child. Another important thing to consider is that finding the “perfect” person is much more difficult as they have to be perfect for at least two people - you and your child.
That withstanding, it is possible to find love, and Men’sHealth has several tips for any dads that may be seeking. The thing to begin is to ease into the dating world as you need time for your child, yourself, and anything else that may require it. Furthermore, your kids should know about it too. They should know that you need someone you can share your interests with and have fun with.
You should understand what kind of person you’re seeking and look for them. They should also know that your children are a priority to you no matter what, and they must be comfortable with it. You shouldn’t tell your kids too much about your potential partner, but you could suggest that they could meet them. Of course, you should prioritize your kids and make sure that they only meet them when they are comfortable.
Finally, an important thing to avoid is your children getting attached to someone and that someone leaving your life. It may make kids pessimistic and cynical about relationships, and you certainly don’t want that happening to your little ones.
The original post collected a whopping 15 thousand upvotes and more than 4 thousand comments. OP also clarified in the comments that he doesn’t believe in shaming people for their attire and is perfectly comfortable with his daughter expressing herself through her appearance. What are your thoughts about the story? What would you have done? Let us know in the comments!
Many commenters praised him for his actions and called him a great dad, calling out the ex for overstepping
Image credits: Mauricio Mascaro (not the actual image)
