Over the last few years, beauty standards around body hair have been steadily changing, largely as a result of many women happily rocking their natural hairy bits. More and more females are moving on from body-hair stigma and starting a mini-revolution by not shaving and encouraging other people to let it grow.
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However, when TikTok user bonedrymilkers decided to embrace her “winter coat” and send a picture of her unshaven legs to her boyfriend, things did not go smoothly. What was supposed to be sweet and funny turned sour—the BF replied that it’s “kinda gross” and “unhygienic for a female,” which was a glaring red flag in the woman’s eyes.
In just a few days, the clip went viral, amassing more than 15.2M views and almost 86K comments. Check out her full video below, and be sure to let us know what you think in the comment section below.
Over the holidays, this TikTok user decided to embrace her “winter coat,” sending a photo of her unshaven legs to her boyfriend
The conversation turned sour when her BF said it’s “gross” and “unhygienic for a female”
You can watch the full video, which got over 15.2M views, right over here
Later on, the woman posted another clip with an update on this whole situation
Here’s the full video
After some time, the TikTok user decided to post another video with an update for her followers. It seems that after exchanging a few more texts, the couple talked everything over and did in fact break up. As bonedrymilkers wrote in her caption, “It’s obvious I wasted my time.”
A vast majority of her followers were on her side. Many wrote that the boyfriend’s reaction was completely inappropriate, others started a discussion about double standards in the comments.
Bored Panda reached out to Karin Lesnik-Oberstein, a Professor of Critical Theory at the University of Reading and author of The Last Taboo: Women and Body Hair, to find out why letting our natural hair grow is still deeply stigmatized.
According to the professor, many women today feel the pressure to remove their body hair because it is “part of the construction of femininity in our culture (and most Western cultures, although to differing degrees and in some groups differently too).”
When asked about why some partners may see hairy legs as “gross” or “unhygienic”, Lesnik-Oberstein said it’s because they are traditionally seen as masculine. “Masculinity in a woman repels many heterosexual men (and also many other sexual identities, by the way),” she explained. “This is a way to uphold the limits between differing sexual and gender identities.”
After all, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution to this issue. To shave or not to shave—it’s completely up to you. What truly matters is that you feel safe and welcomed as you are, with all of your body hair. “A partner who does not accept that too is not right for you,” the professor said.
“But for many women, shaving is something that they want to do for themselves too and they enjoy their partner admiring their shaven legs or other shaven body parts,” she added. “See what is really right for you, but never allow any partner to be emotionally or physically abusive to you (including being verbally aggressive) about anything!”
Still, we are surrounded by many unrealistic beauty standards that can sometimes lead to feeling shame. “Not shaving or shaving are not ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ in general but this depends on what kind of person you are.”
“This is also true for other issues such as wearing make-up, dieting, cosmetic surgery and so on, but it can take time and exploration of your feelings about yourself and your body to work out what is really best for you, so do take that time,” Karin Lesnik-Oberstein suggested.
Her followers were united and saw the boyfriend’s behavior as a red flag
