Chances are that back in school, you either knew someone who was very gifted or you actually were that kid (hey, how are you). However, just because academia was easy for you at the start doesn’t mean that the rest of your life was sunshine and daisies.
Formerly gifted kids opened up in an online thread about what adulthood was like for them. They revealed their biggest struggles, including social pressure, burnout, and impostor syndrome. Scroll down for their stories! The odds are that you might find something relatable.
#21
I eventually reached a point where, "Studying is something that happens to other people." wasn't enough. I took a break. Worked a bit. Went back to university in a different field, and found that once again everything was *easy*. Finished a four year degree in two years. Eventually found work I enjoyed. Had a heck of a fun time as the go-to troubleshooter for the company for most of a decade. Then my brain self-destructed and blew a hole in itself. Now I have to relearn how to walk every morning. But I'm good at it.
spammmmmmmmy:
Did you have a stroke?
ChemistryPerfect4534:
Yes. A lacunar one, so there is literally a hole in my brain.
spammmmmmmmy:
Did you have a stroke?
ChemistryPerfect4534:
Yes. A lacunar one, so there is literally a hole in my brain.
7points
#22
TL/DR: I never learned to study. I coasted from grade school through high school then barely graduated college.
They wanted me (and 2 others) to skip 2nd grade. My parents decided I was too young (started kindergarten at 4 and college at 17).
During 6th grade I and the other girl who didn't skip a grade were segregated from the class to read Tolkein, I think.
In HS, I was pressured to take AP classes but didn't. One of my English teacher made me read extra novels because the class was too easy. I had already read most of the books.
I hit college placed in a special program for high GPA/ SAT scorers in freshman year and crashed hard. Barely scraped through. Without the AP classes, I was behind whereas through school up until then, I was always ahead.
I just loved to read everything and it made me seem smarter but well-read isn't the same. I'm not stupid, but not gifted. They all thought I'd go places.
I'm disabled due to a chronic illness which occurred in adulthood and haven't been able to work in decades. So, no harm, no foul. I can, however, answer a fair number of questions on Jeopardy.
They wanted me (and 2 others) to skip 2nd grade. My parents decided I was too young (started kindergarten at 4 and college at 17).
During 6th grade I and the other girl who didn't skip a grade were segregated from the class to read Tolkein, I think.
In HS, I was pressured to take AP classes but didn't. One of my English teacher made me read extra novels because the class was too easy. I had already read most of the books.
I hit college placed in a special program for high GPA/ SAT scorers in freshman year and crashed hard. Barely scraped through. Without the AP classes, I was behind whereas through school up until then, I was always ahead.
I just loved to read everything and it made me seem smarter but well-read isn't the same. I'm not stupid, but not gifted. They all thought I'd go places.
I'm disabled due to a chronic illness which occurred in adulthood and haven't been able to work in decades. So, no harm, no foul. I can, however, answer a fair number of questions on Jeopardy.
7points
#23
Being “gifted” for me meant that a lot of short term successes came easy. Excelling was easy. Because of that learning to work hard has been a real chore. You can’t coast on giftedness. Hard, sustained, methodical work is the way to really succeed. People who have that nailed down, whether they’re intelligent or not, are better off.
7points
#24
I have been burned out for years, but my brain has refused to. I don't stop thinking. Ever. If I'm awake, my brain goes 1000000000 mph. There's equations, and people, and social and political issues, friends' issues, the freaking universe, creation, religion, faith, stars, galaxies, aliens, greenhouses, growing food, etc...
I don't want to think anymore and I don't know how to stop.
I don't want to think anymore and I don't know how to stop.
7points
#25
I'm 51, and I've never held down a full time job for more than a couple months. My wife has a good job, though.
7points
#26
Just finished my second Masters and am chasing that PhD while also trying to prioritize my family. Feel pulled in a million different directions and "down time" feels wrong. I've been in enough therapy to know I'm seeking validation but not enough to know who I want that from.
7points
#27
I was in gifted programs all through school, but then I hit some higher-level classes in college, like organic chemistry and physics/calc (I was premed, then switched to CS). Those classes actually required me to study and learn. I realized I was completely unprepared to put in the work to master something when it didn’t just come naturally. It took some effort and a readjustment of my expectations, but I still managed a 3.9 GPA when I finished my undergrad. I enjoy my work, and I pick up new techs fairly easily.
Honestly, I regret all the gifted programs and labels. I feel like they gave me a false sense of entitlement toward success that stunted my work ethic, which I had to develop later than my peers. If the gifted programs had challenged me more and taught me how to learn and put time into studying, they would have been more valuable. As it stands, they were just a participation trophy for some privilege I was born with.
Honestly, I regret all the gifted programs and labels. I feel like they gave me a false sense of entitlement toward success that stunted my work ethic, which I had to develop later than my peers. If the gifted programs had challenged me more and taught me how to learn and put time into studying, they would have been more valuable. As it stands, they were just a participation trophy for some privilege I was born with.
7points
#28
One problem many of us had was a lack of understanding of the smart kid's needs, among them discipline. When you pick up everything quickly you don't learn how to study effectively, for instance, so college was actually a bust because we didn't know what to do. Sounds bizarre but a common story.
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6points
#29
I’m a gifted teacher and was also a gifted student. Depression, anxiety, imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and burnout are all super common among gifted students.
In many states (including mine), “social emotional” goals are now included in their educational plans right alongside academic goals. It’s one of the compelling arguments for identifying gifted kids and giving them special services.
Oh, and there’s a lot of crossover between ADHD, ASD, and giftedness - giftedness is actually neurodivergence all on its own and it often comes with traits of one or both of those other types of neurodivergence, if not coexisting with the full-blown “disorder.”.
In many states (including mine), “social emotional” goals are now included in their educational plans right alongside academic goals. It’s one of the compelling arguments for identifying gifted kids and giving them special services.
Oh, and there’s a lot of crossover between ADHD, ASD, and giftedness - giftedness is actually neurodivergence all on its own and it often comes with traits of one or both of those other types of neurodivergence, if not coexisting with the full-blown “disorder.”.
6points
#30
I'm so burnt out, and I just resigned from my executive job. I'm planning on moving home to take care of my grandparents.
I'm 33.
I'm 33.
6points
#31
I was bullied by a teacher who insisted I should be on Ritalin. A couple of years later I was labeled as "gifted", made the honor roll and the president's list etc. My parents didn't care.
My dad beat my college goals out of me when I was in high school and I didn't go. I just started working a deadend job just like he wanted.
When I did actually start to make some progress without his influence, he attributed my achievements to himself. He can't even remember what unit I work on or what I do.
I feel like I'm at least a decade behind where I should be in life.
Mettastorm:
That feeling of being behind can remain as a sore wound. I sometimes get a pang of it myself when I see others my age buy a house or have a child. I try to remind myself that comparison is the thief of joy. If I look carefully, I can find at least some joy of my own.
My dad beat my college goals out of me when I was in high school and I didn't go. I just started working a deadend job just like he wanted.
When I did actually start to make some progress without his influence, he attributed my achievements to himself. He can't even remember what unit I work on or what I do.
I feel like I'm at least a decade behind where I should be in life.
Mettastorm:
That feeling of being behind can remain as a sore wound. I sometimes get a pang of it myself when I see others my age buy a house or have a child. I try to remind myself that comparison is the thief of joy. If I look carefully, I can find at least some joy of my own.
6points
#32
Short answer: yes, and yes.
I was tagged around 99th percentile in all of my standardized tests from K-12. I was *the* gifted kid in school.
In college I struggled with consistency a lot. If I enjoyed a subject, I would easily get an A in the class, breaking the curve for my classmates. If I'm interested, literally nobody is getting better grades than me. If I found a subject dull or I didn't like my professor's attitude, I would scrape by with a D or just drop and get an incomplete. I was definitely emotionally immature, and it didn't help that I was one of the youngest in my class and my parents went through a real nasty divorce during those years... but hey, everyone has issues and those were mine.
Sometimes I just took time off to learn how to be a person, make friends, party, talk to girls, and stop being the social pariah nerd with straight As that nobody wants to be around (think: Sheldon Cooper). I couldn't keep it up. I was sleeping 5-10 hours a week. I lost my mind for a while. I dropped out of school senior year, committed a DUI, lost all my friends, and briefly considered ending it all. I burned out, and made all the wrong choices. I was 22 and my life was over. I was Depressed with a capital D for 2 solid years. I was supposed to be the next big great hope, but I was just some shoulda been.
I went to work. Work was good. I'm good at work. I solve problems easily and efficiently, and I'm not so bad to be around as long as I learn to listen more than I speak. I quickly rose to a supervisory role and proved my abilities in the technical world. I eventually dropped back in to a new school while working. I picked up a second job writing software and met my now wife while there.
Now, at twice the age from when I first burned out, I'm happy. I have balance. I'm still good at my job, but my job doesn't own me. I have good relationships, good friends, and good family. I earn a very solid living based mostly on my ability to look at problem A and provide solution Z. The rest is maintaining people skills, which used to be my hardest challenge.
It's going to sound cheezy, but I used to think success would be earning a doctorate and getting my name in the papers for discovering something. Today, I define success as going fishing with my grandfather or taking a long walk with my wife. I do just enough knowledge work to get the job done. Then I go home, and reserve some time for my soul to recharge and be happy. I don't want to be Sheldon Cooper.
I was tagged around 99th percentile in all of my standardized tests from K-12. I was *the* gifted kid in school.
In college I struggled with consistency a lot. If I enjoyed a subject, I would easily get an A in the class, breaking the curve for my classmates. If I'm interested, literally nobody is getting better grades than me. If I found a subject dull or I didn't like my professor's attitude, I would scrape by with a D or just drop and get an incomplete. I was definitely emotionally immature, and it didn't help that I was one of the youngest in my class and my parents went through a real nasty divorce during those years... but hey, everyone has issues and those were mine.
Sometimes I just took time off to learn how to be a person, make friends, party, talk to girls, and stop being the social pariah nerd with straight As that nobody wants to be around (think: Sheldon Cooper). I couldn't keep it up. I was sleeping 5-10 hours a week. I lost my mind for a while. I dropped out of school senior year, committed a DUI, lost all my friends, and briefly considered ending it all. I burned out, and made all the wrong choices. I was 22 and my life was over. I was Depressed with a capital D for 2 solid years. I was supposed to be the next big great hope, but I was just some shoulda been.
I went to work. Work was good. I'm good at work. I solve problems easily and efficiently, and I'm not so bad to be around as long as I learn to listen more than I speak. I quickly rose to a supervisory role and proved my abilities in the technical world. I eventually dropped back in to a new school while working. I picked up a second job writing software and met my now wife while there.
Now, at twice the age from when I first burned out, I'm happy. I have balance. I'm still good at my job, but my job doesn't own me. I have good relationships, good friends, and good family. I earn a very solid living based mostly on my ability to look at problem A and provide solution Z. The rest is maintaining people skills, which used to be my hardest challenge.
It's going to sound cheezy, but I used to think success would be earning a doctorate and getting my name in the papers for discovering something. Today, I define success as going fishing with my grandfather or taking a long walk with my wife. I do just enough knowledge work to get the job done. Then I go home, and reserve some time for my soul to recharge and be happy. I don't want to be Sheldon Cooper.
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6points
#33
Instead of people around me helping me, when they saw I was intelligent they did their best to show me how I am not as great as they thought I thought I was. So although I did not burn out, I lost a lot of faith in those around me that I thought would want to help see me succeed.
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5points
#34
Everyone always said things like "I'll be working for you one day!" I guess I was just good at solving problems, but have zero vision, because I don't have a clue how to earn money beyond applying for a job and hoping someone else pays me. I guess "getting rich" was never a problem for me to solve, so I never tried to figure it out. I've always made average money though, and I don't waste it and have been decent at saving, so I've never really struggled.
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5points
#35
Burnt out after honours and made some bad decisions. Met someone who helped me turn things around and am happy to have had the burnt out experience, I've come out strong, more confident and completed my masters. I'm now excelling because I learnt from hitting rock bottom.
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5points
#36
I’ve done well. Had a brief period where I was horrendously bullied in 5th and 6th grade for “being smart” and “gay”. Didn’t want to go to school, ended up telling my parents I wish I didn’t exist and they sent me to a psychiatrist. It ended when I broke my bullies nose, interestingly he then started getting bullied and eventually left the school.
I worked really hard in middle and highschool. Was the top 10 in my region for my sport. Eventually burned out from athletics but continued to get good grades. Got a scholarship to a prestigious school. Decided I wouldn’t strive for straight As but would be happy with B average. Chased girls and social life a little. Floundered for a year in college while I played video games and did nothing.
Was told my GPA was a little low for graduate school. Studied really hard, did a bunch of research, scored very well on the standardized test for graduate school and got in.
Kinda relaxed once I got in, still studied but kinda coasted. Got interested in my profession during training and became an expert. Have now travelled internationally to teach and make a good living.
I’m glad I took the time to develop my social skills (it didn’t come naturally for me). Focusing on that enabled me to have a fantastic family. It is by far the best decision I made.
I worked really hard in middle and highschool. Was the top 10 in my region for my sport. Eventually burned out from athletics but continued to get good grades. Got a scholarship to a prestigious school. Decided I wouldn’t strive for straight As but would be happy with B average. Chased girls and social life a little. Floundered for a year in college while I played video games and did nothing.
Was told my GPA was a little low for graduate school. Studied really hard, did a bunch of research, scored very well on the standardized test for graduate school and got in.
Kinda relaxed once I got in, still studied but kinda coasted. Got interested in my profession during training and became an expert. Have now travelled internationally to teach and make a good living.
I’m glad I took the time to develop my social skills (it didn’t come naturally for me). Focusing on that enabled me to have a fantastic family. It is by far the best decision I made.
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5points
#37
I was tired of life by junior high, but it turns out I'm bipolar.
4points
#38
Not burnt out, no. Got two college diplomas with honours in both. Wasn’t making enough money. Got into construction instead. Much happier 🙂.
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4points
#39
I burned out in high school. My senior year was almost all art and cooking and the like. I picked elementary education as a major because I couldn't stand the idea of the workload of the engineering classes I should have been taking. It took 4 years of easy classes and close friends and finally finding a woman who would hold me before I healed enough mentally to start taking more difficult classes. I changed majors, but finally graduated after my 6th year with whatever degree I could get with the classes I took.
I'm not a rich engineer, but I make 6 figures doing graphics and layout for medical textbooks for the military.
I'm not a rich engineer, but I make 6 figures doing graphics and layout for medical textbooks for the military.
4points
#40
Ended up failing a handful of classes in high school because i hated the system. barely got my diploma. dropped out of college after about 2 years of trying. then just worked at Target for a while as a security guard. but was definitely active in all of my creative endeavors.
i started landing better jobs. fast forward a bit and i went back to college and got straight A's, plus made the Dean's list several times. Graduated with honors. got my bachelors degree in IT. i got married. then my job prospects got even better. wife helped me pay off my student debt and her parents let us rent our first start house from them for cheap (3 years total). we saved up enough to buy 2 houses. now we rent out 1 of them to tenants. im currently making $130K/year.
basically a mixture of luck and hard work.
i started landing better jobs. fast forward a bit and i went back to college and got straight A's, plus made the Dean's list several times. Graduated with honors. got my bachelors degree in IT. i got married. then my job prospects got even better. wife helped me pay off my student debt and her parents let us rent our first start house from them for cheap (3 years total). we saved up enough to buy 2 houses. now we rent out 1 of them to tenants. im currently making $130K/year.
basically a mixture of luck and hard work.
4points
