Chances are that back in school, you either knew someone who was very gifted or you actually were that kid (hey, how are you). However, just because academia was easy for you at the start doesn’t mean that the rest of your life was sunshine and daisies.
Formerly gifted kids opened up in an online thread about what adulthood was like for them. They revealed their biggest struggles, including social pressure, burnout, and impostor syndrome. Scroll down for their stories! The odds are that you might find something relatable.
#1
I wouldn't say I burned out, but when I got to college, I got a painful lesson about the difference between being "smart" and being "a quick learner.".
L0cked4fun:
I had to learn to study in college, took failing a course horribly to admit to myself that I had to buckle down.
L0cked4fun:
I had to learn to study in college, took failing a course horribly to admit to myself that I had to buckle down.
30points
#2
I won 3 math comps and 2 science fairs growing up. Graduated college early. Went from living in a trailer almost on the street in high school to life in a 4,000 sqft home with a new luxury suv. Wife stays at home. I work from home. Have a couple kids.
Short of the fear of job loss in the short term the life is pretty good. .
Short of the fear of job loss in the short term the life is pretty good. .
26points
#3
Turns out I'm autistic, they just didn't have the language so they said "gifted".
I guess the main difference between now and then, is back then I had to sleep only 2 hours a night (and then in class) to have enough time to code as much as I wanted, while now I can code all day **and** sleep at night (saying this at 6am, 5 hours lafe to sleep ... hrm...)
25 years married to another (even more) gifted and amazing lady.
Adult life is neat.
I guess the main difference between now and then, is back then I had to sleep only 2 hours a night (and then in class) to have enough time to code as much as I wanted, while now I can code all day **and** sleep at night (saying this at 6am, 5 hours lafe to sleep ... hrm...)
25 years married to another (even more) gifted and amazing lady.
Adult life is neat.
22points
Just because you’re a gifted kid doesn’t mean that everything is easy for you. There are lots of downsides that come with having a brilliant mind and doing well in academia early on.
According to Vox, broadly speaking, among children, giftedness means having an IQ above 120. That being said, giftedness is “a measure of potential more than anything else.”
The issue is that for both kids and adults, their giftedness is consistently accompanied by personality quirks such as being very emotional and sensitive.
“They tend to have a strong sense of justice and as such can be prone to black-and-white thinking. Frequently, they go through spells of behaving like mini-adults only to crash back into childishness,” Vox states.
#4
I made it through college and grad school with honors but I’m so burnt out by adult life and the “real world”. I miss how easy academia was for me.
nosyNurse:
Me too! I would go to school forever if I had money to do that and keep my bills paid
nosyNurse:
Me too! I would go to school forever if I had money to do that and keep my bills paid
18points
#5
Burned out, got diagnosed as an adult with ADHD.
Purple_Chipmunk:
Same!! It's especially rough to be gifted with ADHD because you can hide the ADHD so well on daily learning for exams, for example.
But then when it comes to larger projects (or anything that's not a worksheet or exam) you fall apart and then every report card says "not working up to potential" and you think, but I'm so smart and the work is easy, why can't I just do it? I must be lazy😔
✨ T H E R A P Y ✨
res06myi:
Yup. For me it was masking dyslexia, which was figured out when I was a teen, long after anything could be done about it, and autism and ADHD, which I didn’t know until my 30s. But I did well on tests so nothing to see here.
Purple_Chipmunk:
Same!! It's especially rough to be gifted with ADHD because you can hide the ADHD so well on daily learning for exams, for example.
But then when it comes to larger projects (or anything that's not a worksheet or exam) you fall apart and then every report card says "not working up to potential" and you think, but I'm so smart and the work is easy, why can't I just do it? I must be lazy😔
✨ T H E R A P Y ✨
res06myi:
Yup. For me it was masking dyslexia, which was figured out when I was a teen, long after anything could be done about it, and autism and ADHD, which I didn’t know until my 30s. But I did well on tests so nothing to see here.
17points
#6
I'm at that uncomfortable level where I was told I'm gifted — genius even. But I've always been keenly aware of just how much of an effing idiot I really am. And I'm also keenly aware that I'm still somehow much more intelligent than the average people I deal with every single day. It's more of a curse than a gift
16points
Verywell Mind explains that gifted kids can experience a lot of pressure to excel, which can lead to burnout, which then leads to exhaustion, frustration, and a lack of motivation. Gifted individuals also tend to be perfectionistic and have very sensitive temperaments, which also contribute to burnout.
Burned-out gifted kids can also see a decline in their performance, become irritable, or experience social withdrawal. They can also develop mental health issues such as anxiety, OCD, or eating disorders.
Gifted individuals who experience burnout can also find themselves stuck in obsessive thought patterns and distress over low grades or incorrect answers. And they can have a ton of difficulty making seemingly simple life choices, such as what to eat or what to wear.
#7
Hit a wall and burned out.
I think that being a gifted kid is like joining an mmorpg for the first time with a level-boosted character. Sure, we go through the first few levels of life effortlessly, but we never learned how to properly play the game. And by the time we reach level-appropriate content, it's way too late.
Also the severe undiagnosed(until my 30s!) ADHD.
I think that being a gifted kid is like joining an mmorpg for the first time with a level-boosted character. Sure, we go through the first few levels of life effortlessly, but we never learned how to properly play the game. And by the time we reach level-appropriate content, it's way too late.
Also the severe undiagnosed(until my 30s!) ADHD.
15points
#8
Went to prison for 11 years
Wasted the gift until I was 28
Had an epiphany - I could actually do anything that anybody else can
Earned BA with a 4.0, learned 5 programming languages and Spanish, bunch of other stuff.
Got out, learning none of that matters to employers if you're a felon, you're doomed to work side-by-side with everybody else at the slaughterhouse.
Going to put that energy into my own business.
Wasted the gift until I was 28
Had an epiphany - I could actually do anything that anybody else can
Earned BA with a 4.0, learned 5 programming languages and Spanish, bunch of other stuff.
Got out, learning none of that matters to employers if you're a felon, you're doomed to work side-by-side with everybody else at the slaughterhouse.
Going to put that energy into my own business.
15points
#9
I've never known anyone who was dubbed "gifted" who didn't also have crippling mental or emotional problems. Seems to come with the territory. Maybe it's nature's way of leveling the playing field.
14points
According to Verywell Mind, recovering from gifted-kid burnout requires lots of steps. For instance, parents can teach their children to adopt a growth mindset and to learn to embrace their failures as opportunities for learning. What’s more, parents ought to encourage their kids to take study breaks, emphasize that they don’t need to be ‘perfect,’ avoid comparing their school performance to others, and not connect academic achievements with being loved or accepted.
Were you a gifted kid in school, or did you know someone who was? Have you ever experienced burnout? Share your stories below, in the comments.
#10
I wouldn't say I burned out, I just stopped applying myself.
I graduated college with a bachelor's in history. The plan was to get my master's or maybe go to law school. Instead, for the first time I could remember, I didn't have to get good grades. I didn't have to study anything I wasn't interested in. I...got...*lazy*.
Never went back to school. Got married, bought a house, had a baby. I've worked a long string of different jobs. Museum, tuxedo rentals, bank teller, now medical payment rep. The museum was a dream job, but it paid nothing and had no benefits so I quit after 9 months.
I'm 99% sure I have ADHD. Maybe even AUDHD. Adhd runs in the family, but back in the 80s/90s girls weren't diagnosed with it. I haven't bothered to get diagnosed as an adult. I don't see the point. My life is fine, I see no need to add medication into it.
Tldr; didn't burnout, just quit. Lmao.
I graduated college with a bachelor's in history. The plan was to get my master's or maybe go to law school. Instead, for the first time I could remember, I didn't have to get good grades. I didn't have to study anything I wasn't interested in. I...got...*lazy*.
Never went back to school. Got married, bought a house, had a baby. I've worked a long string of different jobs. Museum, tuxedo rentals, bank teller, now medical payment rep. The museum was a dream job, but it paid nothing and had no benefits so I quit after 9 months.
I'm 99% sure I have ADHD. Maybe even AUDHD. Adhd runs in the family, but back in the 80s/90s girls weren't diagnosed with it. I haven't bothered to get diagnosed as an adult. I don't see the point. My life is fine, I see no need to add medication into it.
Tldr; didn't burnout, just quit. Lmao.
11points
#11
Burned out.
IAMA_Shark__AMA:
This one. I was actually very successful early on. I was considered a bit of a prodigy in that field.
I basically rage quit to live an island bum life. Somewhere in those years I found my real calling. Doesn't pay even a fifth as well, but I can look at myself in the mirror each day, so I'm doing better now than I was then
Plastic-Bar-4142:
I earned a PhD and became a professor. There have been ups and downs, but overall I do benefit from the fact that processing information and thinking abstractly comes easily to me.
Anxiety, migraines, and a need for excessive amounts of sleep have slowed me down, but I wouldn't trade those things if I had to lose my giftedness along with them. That's just who I am.
IAMA_Shark__AMA:
This one. I was actually very successful early on. I was considered a bit of a prodigy in that field.
I basically rage quit to live an island bum life. Somewhere in those years I found my real calling. Doesn't pay even a fifth as well, but I can look at myself in the mirror each day, so I'm doing better now than I was then
Plastic-Bar-4142:
I earned a PhD and became a professor. There have been ups and downs, but overall I do benefit from the fact that processing information and thinking abstractly comes easily to me.
Anxiety, migraines, and a need for excessive amounts of sleep have slowed me down, but I wouldn't trade those things if I had to lose my giftedness along with them. That's just who I am.
10points
#12
I was always told I was 'talented' & 'gifted' when I was young. Once youtube was invented, I saw how mediocre I was. Comparison is the thief of joy :(.
10points
#13
I was put in the gifted program in elementary school and then kicked out for being “too immature”. In High School I was on the Academic Decathlon team and won a medal at the State level. My GPA’s for the 4 years were 1.5, 1.6, 1.7 and 3.5 (I didn’t bother to hand in most homework until I realized I wanted to go to college and had utterly atrocious study habits). Started to join the military, ended up going abroad with an exchange program for a year instead and then returned for college. Grades were mediocre as I spent all available time partying wildly. Finally took a year off to work, started to get my s**t together and then restarted at a new school where I ended up graduating Magna Cum Laude. I became a photojournalist and spent a decade doing that. Became a freelancer (found I sucked at the business aspects of that and I was not successful. Also had some significant PTSD at this point in the journey). Then I taught myself how to build websites and started doing that at about 36-37. Now I am a fairly high level developer at a Fortune 100 company and doing well. I also taught myself Chinese. So overall… I’d say I behaved as a “gifted” kid might be expected to behave in the end. Don’t think the label helped me at all, though. Probably made me lazier if anything. One last thing, I was raised by a pedophile so that had a pretty profoundly debilitating impact on my overall growth and emotional maturity. Still working on that baggage.
10points
#14
I found out I was neurodivergent.
smarmiebastard:
I have ADHD, but I still graduated university with honors. I’d generally write papers the night before they were due and still got As. Now I’m massively burnt out as an adult and feel like I’m barely functioning
smarmiebastard:
I have ADHD, but I still graduated university with honors. I’d generally write papers the night before they were due and still got As. Now I’m massively burnt out as an adult and feel like I’m barely functioning
9points
#15
Excel in what I do for about 3 years then I burnout and move on to something else. I’ve had several fun career paths.
Great at learning, troubleshooting, problem solving, creative solutions, processing, and thinking outside the box.
No patience, low emotional intelligence, poor social skills, and I’ve got no common sense.
Great at learning, troubleshooting, problem solving, creative solutions, processing, and thinking outside the box.
No patience, low emotional intelligence, poor social skills, and I’ve got no common sense.
9points
#16
Tested into GATE when I was 5 and burned out by the time I was 15 lol.
8points
#17
I graduated 4th in my class after never trying a day in my life. I got into a very good college and then was humbled by how smart everyone there was. In college I had to learn how to study, how to schedule, how to actually apply myself. It was the first time in my life I couldn’t just coast. I graduated and got a pretty good job, and once I was back in the real world I realized I was still smart, college was just hard. I found that my chosen career path was difficult but not lucrative and made a couple of moves to adjacent fields that made more money. Now 10 years later I make a good salary and am at a leadership position that I find fulfilling, not too easy and challenging at times, but not too high where I feel a ton of pressure. Within the last 5 years I got married and had my first kid. Life is pretty good at the moment.
8points
#18
I’m a dentist. I made a million dollars last year.
8points
#19
My "gift" wasn't exactly a blessing in school. Turns out that creative "out if the box" thinking wasn't exactly encouraged in the 80s. My career also was not what I wanted it to be for a long, long time.
My advice for people who feel the same: It gets better! Find a creative outlet, focus your energy there. It will give you the calm and strength to endure the rat race. But as much fun as it is, don't make it your profession - this is the way to burn out. As soon as you do something because you HAVE to do it and not because you WANT to do it, it will stop being fun. Your art will suffer, you will doubt yourself, depression shortly follows.
For me, it's writing stories either for Larp or other RPGs and leathercraft. But whatever works for you is fine!
All the best to the creative minds out there who can't stand the chains of a restrictive system!
My advice for people who feel the same: It gets better! Find a creative outlet, focus your energy there. It will give you the calm and strength to endure the rat race. But as much fun as it is, don't make it your profession - this is the way to burn out. As soon as you do something because you HAVE to do it and not because you WANT to do it, it will stop being fun. Your art will suffer, you will doubt yourself, depression shortly follows.
For me, it's writing stories either for Larp or other RPGs and leathercraft. But whatever works for you is fine!
All the best to the creative minds out there who can't stand the chains of a restrictive system!
8points
#20
So far, so good, but I feel like an imposter. All through high school and college, I put in just enough effort to make an A. So I never really lived up to my potential, but I think that is the only thing that kept me sane. The worst thing that ever came from it all was feeling like I was somehow responsible for solving everyone's problems. But I do have days I've seriously thought about changing my identity and starting over far away from where I am so I could lose some of that pressure and responsibility.
littleorangemonkeys:
Same. I was "gifted" because I was an early and prolific reader, but oh, oops, that's also Hallmark for ADHD.
I recently changed jobs in my field specifically to reduce the amount of responsibility I had. My anxiety is so much better. I am still figuring out the right balance between not enough responsibility ( and getting bored) and too much (and getting anxious). I might find balance by the time I retire.
littleorangemonkeys:
Same. I was "gifted" because I was an early and prolific reader, but oh, oops, that's also Hallmark for ADHD.
I recently changed jobs in my field specifically to reduce the amount of responsibility I had. My anxiety is so much better. I am still figuring out the right balance between not enough responsibility ( and getting bored) and too much (and getting anxious). I might find balance by the time I retire.
7points