It’s hard to believe it’s been almost 15 years since the legendary comedian George Carlin passed away. His wit remains a vivid memory thanks to the many “Best Of George Carlin” videos on YouTube that also give younger generations the opportunity to know him. When it comes to comedy, there is no shortage of great performers, but his bold stance on nearly every topic, from religion to politics, set him apart from other funnymen of his era. His irreverent jokes and no-holds-barred attitude made him a fan favorite but also landed him in trouble with the law more than once. He got into comedy in 1960 when he started working with Jack Burns, who soon became his writing partner and best friend. They performed together for some years before Carlin went solo. From there, he became a comedy icon, which continued up until his death in 2008 at the age of 71.
A leading voice that influenced other comedians and an important figure in both the counterculture and mainstream culture, George Carlin was noted for his black comedy as well as his thoughts on politics, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. He is widely regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comedians, one of the first in the 1960s to use profanity in his routines.
He didn’t just make people laugh. He made them think and sometimes reconsider their beliefs. He had an uncanny ability to cut through the clutter of everyday life, and for this, we want to honor this man with our favorite inspirational quotes from George Carlin. Some are funny, some are insightful, but they’re all packed with his typical brutal honesty.
#1
“Don’t just teach your children to read. Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.”
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#2
“Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.”
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#3
“I do this real moron thing, and it’s called thinking. And apparently, I’m not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.”
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#4
“If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re going to have selfish, ignorant leaders.”
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#5
“Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?”
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#6
“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
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#7
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
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#8
“Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.”
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#9
“That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
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#10
“War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class men off to die.”
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#11
“Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.”
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#12
“If four out of five people suffer from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?”
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#13
“Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.”
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#14
“The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.”
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#15
“Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.”
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#16
“Conservatives say if you don’t give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they’ve lost all incentive because we’ve given them too much money.”
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#17
“Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.”
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#18
“Religion is like a pair of shoes: Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.”
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#19
“Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.”
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#20
“In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.”
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