Coming out to your family as LGBTQ+ is a big step. However, nobody should feel like they’re pressured to do so before they’re ready. Unfortunately, reality doesn’t always turn out the way you want it to. Especially if your relatives aren’t the most tolerant of people and pressure you to be someone you're not.
Reddit user u/UserMempsh went viral on the AITA subreddit after sharing how he finally told his entire family that he was gay. He did so at his sister’s wedding and was accused of ‘ruining’ everything. You’ll find the story in full below. Bored Panda has reached out to the author via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.
Deciding to come out is a very personal decision. However, some people feel pressured to do so before they're ready
Image credits: Sonyachny (not the actual image)
One man shared what finally made him snap and tell his entire family that he was gay during his sister's wedding
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual image)
Image credits: Jonas Wilson (not the actual image)
Image credits: UserMempsh
You do not have to come out unless you want to
There is no ‘right’ time to come out to one’s family, friends, classmates, or colleagues. Everyone moves at their own pace and should do what they’re most comfortable with.
However, there is an issue if someone feels like they cannot tell the people they’re closest to that they’re LGBTQ+ because they’re scared of the negative consequences and fallout.
While some family members can be incredibly supportive, the reality is that others can react in unpredictable ways. As Healthline notes, the person’s comfort and safety matter the most: “You don’t have to come out unless you want to.”
As reported on by AAMC, according to a recent Human Rights Campaign Foundation survey that looked at the experiences of 10,000 American youth from 13 to 17 years old, 61% of respondents were already out at school, while over half (56%) were out to their immediate family.
The survey found that young people who were out to their immediate family were more likely to be happy than those who weren’t. They were also twice as likely to have a trusted adult they could speak to.
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual image)
Many members of the LGBTQ+ community are worried about how their loved ones will react to the news
Unfortunately, youth who were out were “slightly more likely to have experienced harassment at school.” Some of the most common fears for young people regarding coming out include being treated differently or judged, being bullied, and being unsure of how their relatives would react.
A survey conducted by Bespoke Surgical found that the average age that someone came out as LGBTQ+ was 20.6 years old. However, there is a difference between generations. For example, the average age for coming out was 18.1 for Millennials, 23 for members of Generation X, and 23.4 for Baby Boomers.
The same survey found that 35.6% of respondents felt like the coming out process was a negative one, while 44.3% saw it as positive.
Some of the biggest concerns that people faced included being scared of familial tension, isolation, or estrangement. Meanwhile, others had fears related to social attitudes, personal struggles with identity, possible violence, and discrimination at work.
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)
The man engaged with a lot of the people who read his story. Here's what they spoke about
The vast majority of internet users supported the author and thought he was blameless
