First of all - congrats! Felicitations on finally admitting that you are, in fact, an adult. And yes, funny text jokes for adults are your thing now. Sure, these text jokes might look familiar at first glance, but trust us – they’ve earned the “for adults” label for a reason.
Whether you’re a fan of dirty jokes, clever one-liners, or even longer storytelling in funny long jokes, this list offers bite-sized humor you can copy, paste, and fire off in your next message.
And why the emphasis on text jokes? Because you’re still part of the cool crowd who prefers typing out punchlines instead of sending voice notes. Voice memos are fine, but can they deliver a perfectly timed pun or a witty one-liner like a well-crafted text joke? We think not. So if you’re ready to upgrade your message game, you’re in the right place.
Below are some of the funniest short jokes for adults to text your friends. Scroll down, laugh out loud, and don’t forget to vote for your favorites. And if you’re into even more spicy humor, check out these flirty jokes or these ridiculous short people jokes while you’re at it.
#161
Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a cornfield?
There are ears everywhere!
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#162

What do you call a meditating wolf?
Aware wolf!
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#163
Why did the walnut go out with a prune?
Because they couldn't find a date!
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#164
What are Mario’s overalls made of?
Denim-denim-denim!
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#165

Why isn’t your nose 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
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#166
If a parsley farmer gets sued, can they garnish his wages?
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#167
What’s a frog’s favorite type of shoes?
Open toad sandals.
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#168
One of the cows didn’t produce milk today.
It was an udder failure.
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#169

What animal do you look like when you get in the bath?
A little bear.
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#170
What do wooden whales eat? Plankton.
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#171
God made man and then rested.
God made women and then no one rested.
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