First of all - congrats! Felicitations on finally admitting that you are, in fact, an adult. And yes, funny text jokes for adults are your thing now. Sure, these text jokes might look familiar at first glance, but trust us – they’ve earned the “for adults” label for a reason.
Whether you’re a fan of dirty jokes, clever one-liners, or even longer storytelling in funny long jokes, this list offers bite-sized humor you can copy, paste, and fire off in your next message.
And why the emphasis on text jokes? Because you’re still part of the cool crowd who prefers typing out punchlines instead of sending voice notes. Voice memos are fine, but can they deliver a perfectly timed pun or a witty one-liner like a well-crafted text joke? We think not. So if you’re ready to upgrade your message game, you’re in the right place.
Below are some of the funniest short jokes for adults to text your friends. Scroll down, laugh out loud, and don’t forget to vote for your favorites. And if you’re into even more spicy humor, check out these flirty jokes or these ridiculous short people jokes while you’re at it.
#1 These Adult Jokes Are Just Textbook
A guy knocked on my door today and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.
I gave him a glass of water.
unknown
Report39points
#2
I used to think I was indecisive.
But now I’m not so sure.
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Report32points
#3
Just got fired from my job as a set designer.
I left without making a scene.
unknown
Report29points
#4
Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.
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Report25points
#5
Unemployment jokes don’t work.
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Report24points
#6
My therapist says I have a preoccupation for revenge.
We’ll see about that.
unknown
Report23points
#7
I’m a nobody. Nobody is perfect.
Therefore I’m perfect.
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Report22points
#8
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
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Report22points
#9
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
unknown
Report21points
#10
Are people born with photographic memories, or does it take time to develop?
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Report21points
#11
When the cannibal showed up late to the buffet, they gave him the cold shoulder.
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Report21points
#12
I'm reading an antigravity book.
It's impossible to put down!
unknown
Report20points
#13
The rotation of Earth really makes my day.
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Report20points
#14
Did you know that Napoleon Bonaparte never said ‘thank you’ to anyone?
Yeah, it’s because he couldn’t speak English.
unknown
Report18points
#15 Witty Words For Grown-Up Laughs
I failed math so many times at school, I can’t even count.
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Report18points
#16
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
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Report18points
#17
Light travels faster than sound.
That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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Report17points
#18
I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke.
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Report17points
#19
Always borrow money from a pessimist.
They’ll never expect it back.
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Report17points
#20
What does a baby computer call its father?
Data.
unknown
Report16points