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To find out more about the complex dynamics of sibling relationships, Bored Panda reached out to Dr. Lise Deguire, a licensed psychologist and award-winning author of “Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience From a Burn Survivor.”
“When a child has a sibling, they learn from their earliest days that attention, love, and resources must be shared. Parents take care of both of them, so children have to learn to wait their turn, to share the cake, to take turns picking what to watch on TV.
”Turns out that these early lessons are the ones that help kids understand two crucial things: that other people matter and that other people have needs. “Kids with siblings also learn, early on, that they can wait now and then get what they want,” said Dr. Lise and added that “Generally, these are good life lessons for children to have.”
However, sometimes, these lessons don't go so well. According to Dr. Lise, “if parents have clear favorites, or if one child gets a disproportionate share of attention, it can be very painful and lead to long-term feelings of being inadequate, inferior, or uncared for.”
In order to avoid this, Dr. Lise recommends for families to have repeated bonding traditions that actively include all the children. For example, “Dinner time, holiday traditions, family vacations, game night.” The licensed psychologist explained that “all these are bonding opportunities to help kids feel a part of the family, hopefully in an equal way.”
