Memes make us laugh. But they can also make us feel seen and understood. And that, say psychologists, is a basic human need.
According to Los Angeles-based Take Root Therapy, the things we say about and to our loved ones often have to do with feeling seen and heard – or not – by them.
"In a fast-paced, urban city where we are often moving through our daily lives surrounded by people, but still alone (in our car getting through our commutes, or on foot or public transit wearing headphones, for example), it can be argued that many of us go through the day feeling almost invisible," explains the site, adding that feeling alone in public can take a toll on our mental health.
Many people use social media to fight the feelings of isolation, but it's not a true substitute for true human connection. Being seen by another living and breathing human being who just "gets" us.
So how do we let the people in our lives know that we “get” them too?
According to the therapists at Take Root, fortunately it's a skill that can be learned. They say that one way to make someone feel seen is by using something known as reflective listening.
"Reflective listening is the process of hearing, listening, and putting what you hear into your own words, and saying it back to the original speaker," explains the site. "This shows them that you were, in fact, hearing and listening to them, which is a connection in and of itself, and it also gives them the opportunity to share even more with you."
When it comes to getting others to see you, experts says it's partly your responsibility. "Misunderstandings happen when you expect others to read between the lines or when you stay silent about what matters most, and then feel hurt when no one notices," writes psychologist Mark Travers.
Helping others see you doesn’t mean forcing a connection or oversharing to be understood, he says. "It means learning how to show up in ways that invite the kind of understanding you crave." Share your inner world through clear and honest expression, advises Travers.
