The ability to emotionally understand what other people feel, see things from their point of view, and imagine yourself in their place is called empathy. It means that when you see another person suffering, such as after they've lost a loved one, you are able to instantly envision yourself going through that same experience and feel what they are going through.
And there are plenty of commonalities between us. "Research shows that some human emotions are universal to people all over the world. These basic emotions include sadness, happiness, anger, fear, surprise, and disgust," Dr. Karen Stollznow, the author of On the Offensive: Prejudice in Language Past and Present, told Bored Panda.
"Empathy is an important ability because it helps us to understand how other people think and feel. It allows us to have compassion for others, and for us to be able to relate to family and friends, colleagues, and even strangers," Stollznow explained.
People often use the words 'empathy' and 'sympathy' interchangeably, but they are actually separate processes.
When we feel sympathy for someone, we identify with the situation that the person finds themself in. This can be a genuine feeling; we can feel sympathy for people we've never met and for a plight we've never experienced, as well as for people we know and scenarios that are familiar to us.
However, sympathy doesn't necessarily connect us to the person. We can be sympathetic to their situation while being completely clueless about their personal feelings and thoughts.
Empathy is something else. It consists not just of emotion sharing (a largely unconscious process), but executive control to regulate and modulate the experience.
Both are supported by specific and interacting neural systems. Mimicry is part of human interaction, and it happens on an unconscious level; we imitate the facial expressions of those we interact with, along with their vocalizations, postures, and movements.
This may have helped early humans communicate and feel closeness. And it's the component that precedes empathy. Neuroscience also confirms that seeing someone in pain activates the parts of your brain that register pain.
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"There are some people who lack empathy, which is sometimes called 'apathy,'" Karen Stollznow said. "Certain psychiatric conditions may play a role in a deficit of empathy, such as narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and antisocial personality disorder.
"Some people with these conditions may be manipulative and deceptive, and not care for other people's feelings. In more general terms, lacking the ability to consider the emotional state of others is on the rise in our polarized social and political culture."
However, if you can't relate to another person, that doesn't mean you're dead inside. Everyone can experience low empathy at times. For example, it may be natural to have difficulty connecting with someone who has harmed us.
There is some debate on whether a person is born with low empathy or if upbringing, social factors, or life experiences may hinder their ability to develop it. Genetics may also play a role.
Psychiatric conditions aside, other possible reasons behind low empathy include modeling, low emotional intelligence, burnout, and stress.
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