We can all come up with quite a number of savage comebacks, remarks, or just simply funny phrases to respond to someone. However, it’s usually too late, the conversation has ended, you’re in the shower, and it’s only the soap bar and shampoo bottles listening to you. Worry not! This list will provide you with the funniest comebacks and remarks, ready to use on the go.
If you ever wondered what kind of funny catchphrases you could use in a conversation with your friends, the options are limitless. Here on this list, gathered today are funny sayings. From hilarious one-liners expressing your innermost feelings to more creative and funny alternatives for the famous “hold my beer.”
There are also perfectly summed-up sentences about the struggles in life that we might experience, but of course, with a dash of comedy to add that spice into our lives that we might be missing.
So if you’re all out of funny phrases to say to your friends, dig into this list and expand your dictionary of snappy comebacks!
#1
Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then it’s suspicious.
unknown
Report40points
#2
I’m sorry, I have to go. You’re boring me to death and my survival instincts are kicking in.
unknown
Report36points
#3
Life is a bowl of soup, and I’m a fork.
unknown
Report33points
#4
Whoever said, “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.”
unknown
Report33points
#5
I wouldn’t exactly say I’m lazy, but it’s a good thing that breathing is a reflex.
unknown
Report32points
#6
I am swift as a gazelle. An old one. With arthritis. Run over by a Land Rover. 8 days ago.
unknown
Report31points
#7
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need an expert opinion.
unknown
Report31points
#8
It might look like I’m doing nothing. But, in my head, I’m quite busy.
unknown
Report28points
#9
Any of us has the capacity to light up a room. Some when they enter, others when they leave it.
unknown
Report28points
#10
If you’re not supposed to eat at night, then why is there a light bulb in the fridge?
unknown
Report27points
#11
My brain has too many tabs open.
unknown
Report27points
#12
Don’t vacuum and listen to loud music on your headphones at the same time. I finished three rooms until I realized the vacuum wasn’t even on.
unknown
Report27points
#13
When people tell me, “You’re going to regret that in the morning,” I sleep until noon because I’m a problem solver.
unknown
Report26points
#14
Birthdays are good for you. Studies show that people who have the most of them live the longest.
unknown
Report26points
#15
Beauty fades. Dumb is forever.
unknown
Report26points
#16
I stopped fighting my inner demons, we’re on the same side now.
unknown
Report26points
#17
I always say “Morning” instead of “Good morning”—if it were a good morning, I’d still be sleeping and not talking to people!
unknown
Report25points
#18
Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
unknown
Report25points
#19
I’m not sluggish. I’m just highly motivated to do nothing.
unknown
Report25points
#20
Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
unknown
Report25points