In his book, The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting, Laurence Steinberg, PhD, provides a few guidelines based on 75 years of studies. Most parents do a pretty good job of raising kids, the psychologist said, but truly effective parenting means not just relying on natural instincts but on knowing what works and why as well.
For starters, children should never be hit -- not even a slap on a toddler's bottom, he told WebMD. "If your young child is headed into danger, into traffic, you can grab him and hold him, but you should under no circumstances hit him."
Steinberg's 10 principles aren't just for parents. They hold true for anyone who deal with children -- coach, teacher, babysitter, he says.
"What you do makes a difference," Steinberg said. "Your kids are watching you. Don't just react on the spur of the moment. Ask yourself, 'What do I want to accomplish, and is this likely to produce that result?'"
The hard part is that being an involved parent doesn't only take time, it also means rethinking and rearranging your priorities. "It frequently means sacrificing what you want to do for what your child needs to do. Be there mentally as well as physically."
However, being involved isn't doing a child's homework -- or reading it over or correcting it. "Homework is a tool for teachers to know whether the child is learning or not," Steinberg explained. "If you do the homework, you're not letting the teacher know what the child is learning."
What moms and dads need to remember is that parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. Adults work on their relationships with other adults, including friendships, marriage, and dating, and the same should apply for their relationship with their kids.
