BACP member and founder of the Chigwell Therapy Centre, Katie, pointed out to Bored Panda that boredom is "essential" for children. In appropriate doses, of course. "It allows them to tap into their own imagination and creativity, and learn to rely on themselves. Next time you go out in the car, suggest that instead of staring at their screens, they look out of the window. Notice where you live, where you’re going, and what’s going on around them. Be curious about what’s around you, and help fuel their creativity," she suggested that we embrace occasional boredom instead of shying away from it.
While most parents instinctively want to protect their children from everything bad that can happen to them, this can have an adverse effect on their growth. "Resilience is essential to help children grow into successful teens and young adults. While it’s important to protect children from the worst that’s going on around them, it’s also important for them to understand that things won’t always go their way, or that sad or difficult things might happen, and that they can not only tolerate them, but survive and thrive under difficult circumstances," counselor Katie said that we have to look at the long-term growth of our kids.
If you're feeling stressed out from family life, going outside for a walk or a bit of playtime in the park can nearly always improve your family's mood. "Get outside. Kids don’t care that it’s not the hottest day or the biggest theme park. Put on a coat, and take advantage of your local open spaces or playground and get outside in the fresh air," Katie from the Chigwell Therapy Centre said. It works, too. Fresh air always improves my mood, no matter how stressed I am. And I'm sure that plenty of you Pandas will agree with this.
However, sometimes the issues and challenges that parents face are so big that they need to talk to someone about them in-depth. "Some counselors are still working face to face work, and others are available on the telephone and online via Zoom and Skype. Look at the BACP Directory and pick up the phone. Don’t be embarrassed to ask for help. Even if you were ok before, you might be finding things a struggle now," Katie suggested.
Bored Panda was interested to find out about the role that gratitude has when it comes to managing our stress and expectations. "Gratitude is about focusing on what we do have, rather than what we don’t have. Practicing gratitude improves our mental wellbeing, makes us healthier individuals, helps us sleep better and strengthens our relationships with family and friends," the mental health professional listed the benefits.
"Even if it feels like there’s little to be grateful for right now, we can always celebrate the small things in life—the sun shining, the pretty spring blossom on the trees, your favorite chocolate bar or takeaway, for example," she said that there's always something to be grateful for, even if it sometimes feels like we're at the bottom of a well, in the dark, with no way out.
One way that we can improve our own lives is by turning on our altruism and helping others. "If you have time, you could consider getting involved in your local community," Katie suggested. "Volunteer to help someone else—from making a phone call, to doing some shopping or baking a cake, there are plenty of ways you can help to make someone else’s day a little bit brighter—and yours in the process."
However, like other skills, gratitude takes practice to master. Getting yourself a journal and writing down the five things you're grateful for every day can be a good start, according to BACP member Katie. "Although you might find it tricky at first, you’ll find that you start noticing and remembering things as time goes on. Putting your thoughts down on paper will help you to see them differently, and over time, you will be able to notice patterns, and see changes in how you are feeling," she said.
Asking somebody about parenting is pretty much the same as mentioning politics, religion, and Covid-19: everybody’s got an opinion, a handful of theories, and odds are they believe that their approach is the right one.
When it comes to parenting, however, there isn’t just one approach. Different folks have different goals. Some parents value independence and self-sufficiency the most so they want their child to be self-reliant as soon as possible. Other parents want to instill more progressive values in their kids, so they start teaching them consent from the time they’re babies. On the flip side, you have parents who want their children to grow up in a more traditional household. There’s no single answer on how to raise your kids.
However, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a goldmine on advice on how to be a good parent, whatever path you’ve chosen for your family.
One of the harshest truths about raising kids is that you’ll never ever (ever) be a ‘perfect parent.’ No matter how hard you try, it’s an illusion that’s actually making you miserable because of how unreachable that goal is. You can be a good parent. Heck, even a great one! But perfection is best left on the wayside because of how much stress it puts on your shoulders.
And we’re not the only ones who think perfection should be binned when it comes to parenting. Anita Cleare, parenting expert and the author of ‘The Work/Parent Switch,’ earlier told Bored Panda that trying to be a perfect parent is bad for everyone involved because “it sets everybody up to fail.”
According to Cleare, the founder of the Positive Parenting Project, we should all aim for parenting that’s ‘good enough’ because that’s what’s best for our children. What this means is “getting it right most of the time but also failing your children in ways they can handle—so that they gradually increase their independence.” And independence, in Cleare’s opinion, helps prepare our children for the real world.
