An admirable, responsible parent is one who tries their very best, despite their imperfections and missteps. This is what the “Good Enough Parenting” approach is all about.
Coined by English psychoanalyst and pediatrician Donald Winnicott in the early 1950s, this ideology emphasizes rejecting perfectionism and focusing on being physically and emotionally available to the child.
At the time, Winnicott introduced the idea of the “good enough mother,” where he pointed out that striving to be perfect or “the best” only does more harm than good. Psychiatrist Dr. Alexandra Sacks shared a similar view, advocating for mothers to aim for compassion when they're with their children.
“Some days this means seeing the triumph in keeping your baby fed, clothed, and (mostly) clean. Other days, this means accepting your stumbles and moving on without beating yourself up,” Dr. Sacks wrote in an article for Medium.
She also noted that occasional failures are understandable in motherhood. However, compassionate and authoritative parenting is what the baby will gravitate toward more.
You’ve likely seen parents (even your own) have their fair share of struggles. Despite their shortcomings, they are doing their best. According to parent facilitator and educator Jasmine Pulido, there is no metric for what “good parenting” is.
“Instead, parenting becomes a nourishing relationship—one that allows both parent and child to be whole,” she told Parents.com.
So, what does “good enough parenting” look like, exactly? According to Pulido, it often comes in the form of a mindset shift. That instead of looking for perfection, parents can strive for authenticity.
“When my kids spill milk, I say, ‘That’s okay, we can clean it up,’” she said. “And when I spill milk, I say the same thing. Mommies make mistakes, too. We’re all learning.”
