Worrying for the sake of worrying doesn’t help us. “Anxiety and stress are disruptors,” says psychotherapist Phil Lane, MSW, LCSW.
“They get in the way of our ability to live our lives and to successfully fulfill our daily obligations and responsibilities. Worse, they take us out of present moments of joy, contentment, and peace and replace them with future thoughts, suppositions, and inaccurate conclusions. When we are overcome with worry, our minds attach to ‘what if’ rather than to ‘what is.’”
According to the psychotherapist, this type of thinking serves to distract us, disturb our daily lives, and rob us of a sense of stability and equilibrium.
The effects of a worry-filled lifestyle can manifest themselves in multiple ways. For example, it’s probably no coincidence that according to a recent survey of 2,000 people, we think we need double our current energy levels to feel fully capable of keeping up with daily demands. And not just for health and happiness boosts, but also for our wallets.
Seventy-four percent of respondents feel they’d be earning more if they had higher energy levels. When asked what they’d do with unlimited energy, the top response was spending more time with friends or family (18%).
“In psychological terms, daily functioning and activities of daily living are essentially the things we would ideally and healthily be able to accomplish on a daily basis when we are unimpeded by worry, stress, or overwhelm,” says Lane.
“However, when stress and worry get in the way, we can find it difficult to complete even the most necessary and basic tasks. This is due not to laziness or lack of accountability but, rather, to the feeling of paralysis and fatigue that can come with overwhelming worry and stress.”
For instance, some areas of daily functioning that can be negatively affected by anxiety include:
- Personal hygiene and self-care.
- Fulfillment of work duties and obligations.
- Fulfillment of family/parenting/caregiving duties.
- Attention to financial responsibilities/household obligations.
- Attention to physical well-being/health/exercise/sleep/diet.
- Ability to engage in pleasurable activities/hobbies/interests/rest and relaxation.
When any of all of these areas of daily living are impacted by anxiety, Lane says we “narrow” ourselves and live incompletely.
So other than scrolling through memes, what can we do about our worries? Lane says the first step is to honestly assess what is happening in our lives (work, family, personal relationships, physical health, financial strain, etc.).
“Paying attention to the specific elements that are causing us to stress and worry is an integral step in formulating a plan for reducing the negative impact of overwhelm,” he explains.
Then, it becomes easier to envision what restored daily functioning might look like. “Think about how we would like our lives to look if we were at optimal functioning. Perhaps this means we would have time to spend with our families, to exercise and engage in personal interests, and to leave work ‘at the door’ when we leave the office.”
Imagining what restored functioning would look like helps us to think pragmatically about how to implement positive changes.
If, for instance, we are struggling with how many hours we are working, we may consider taking a personal day, speaking with a supervisor, or implementing stronger boundaries at work. When we honestly assess how much time and energy we devote to different areas of our lives, we can acknowledge where help is needed.
And it’s definitely worth a try. Lane highlights that reducing stress and worrying can lead to:
- More time to devote to interests, hobbies, and self-care.
- Reduced time focusing on work-related worries and anxiety.
- Better relationships at work and less time working after hours.
- Better focus on personal hygiene, physical activity, and physical well-being.
- More balance between work, family, and self.
It’s not just about obligations, but also about being present.