Argue all you want, but deep down inside, we all know that being a mom is the hardest job on the planet. Especially so if you're a mom to a human baby - the most imperfect of all mammal babies with its hairless skin, wicked thermoregulation, gassy tummy, poopy pants, and the inability to run from danger right after birth. See how much harder the task becomes when your baby is basically a helpless egg? Well, helpless but at least a terribly, incredibly, devastatingly adorable, life-changing, heavenly egg. But let's go back to the behemoth task of being a mom. As we've all agreed, it's incredibly hard, right? And what do you do with things in life that are fabulously arduous? You make fun of them, of course! So, to all the moms-to-be, the seasoned moms, and hopeful moms, we present our list of the funniest mom quotes that we could find!
This is a real compendium of mom life troubles - from babies and their sharp nails lovingly scratching your face to blaming your farts on them; no topic is beyond limits in these mommy quotes. However, all of them carry the notion of a mother's love with it, so even the most hilarious jokes are really an expression of this all-encompassing love that a mother feels for her children. So, laugh at them all you want, Mom, without feeling any unease by amusing yourself about your little bundle of trouble!
I guess you're on limited time here, Mom, so without any further ado, let's just skip right to the funny quotes. All of them are just a little bit further down, as they always are. Once you are there, vote for the cute mom quotes that you've enjoyed the most, but be sure to laugh quickly so as not to wake your sleeping angel! Also, don't forget to share these silly quotes with your friends, as they might need some comic relief from their duties, too.
#1
"When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you." - Nora Ephron
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#2
“The fastest land animal is a toddler with something in his mouth.”
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#3
"Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious."
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#4
"It's not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it." - Betty White
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#5
“You never realize how weird you are until you have a kid that acts just like you.”
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#6
"Stepping on a LEGO land mine at 4:30 a.m. while holding a baby and not falling should be an Olympic sport."
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#7
"It just occurred to me that the majority of my diet is made up of food that my kid didn't finish…" - Carrie Underwood
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#8
“Bedtime is the leading cause of dehydration in children.”
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#9
"You know your life has changed when... going to the grocery store by yourself is a vacation."
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#10
"My housekeeping style is best described as, 'There appears to have been a struggle.'"
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#11
“A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.” - Tenneva Jordan
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#12
"I hate it when I'm waiting for mom to cook dinner, then I remember that I am the mom."
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#13
“Every time I say "no" my kids hear, "ask again, she didn't understand the question.”
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#14
"The best way to get your children’s attention is to relax and look comfortable."
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#15
"Being a parent is like folding a fitted sheet. No one really knows how."
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#16
"If at first, you don't succeed, try doing it the way your mom told you to do it from the start."
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#17
"The true test of patience is watching your child try to zip their coat themselves when you are running late."
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#18
"Friend: Are you getting enough sleep? Me: Sometimes when I sneeze, my eyes close."
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#19
"I always say if you aren't yelling at your kids, you're not spending enough time with them." - Reese Witherspoon
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#20
"Today's goal: keep the tiny humans alive."
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