Defending a case is already an uphill battle, especially if you have the odds stacked against you. It would take an exceptional lawyer and a strong case for the defendant to increase the chances of coming out victorious.
However, it only takes one foolish action to blow it all away. Here are some examples, as shared in a Reddit thread from years back. It features supposed legal professionals acting like amateurs, and defendants on their worst behavior.
Hopefully, none of you ever find yourselves in court. But if you do, may these anecdotes serve as your cautionary tales of what NOT to do. And that also goes for you, aspiring attorneys.
#1
I used to be a police officer and spent a lot of time in court and saw a lot of things go really wrong for people, but the one that sticks out is a guy who was up for DUI.
He started relating his side of the story and tells the judge he "only had two bottles of wine", his lawyer is desperately trying to get him to stop talking and he yelled at his own lawyer "Don't interrupt me!", and the judge says "I think you should take a moment to listen to your attorney" and then he told the judge "Dont tell me what to do, I'm not a d**n child!" and the judge just smiled, and leaned back and said "by all means, continue".
It went badly for him. unsurprisingly.
He started relating his side of the story and tells the judge he "only had two bottles of wine", his lawyer is desperately trying to get him to stop talking and he yelled at his own lawyer "Don't interrupt me!", and the judge says "I think you should take a moment to listen to your attorney" and then he told the judge "Dont tell me what to do, I'm not a d**n child!" and the judge just smiled, and leaned back and said "by all means, continue".
It went badly for him. unsurprisingly.
64points
#2
I was the respondent (not the lawyer) in a civil case where the county accused me of violating a rule that a house cannot have more than two parties in a month.
The county's prime witness admitted, on the stand, that
1 The rule was implemented specifically in response to a complaint against me.
2. The rule was not written in the county code.
3. The rule was not included in my warning letter nor in my citation.
4. The county had no expectation of ever applying this rule to any other resident in the future.
The judge declared the rule null and void.
The county's prime witness admitted, on the stand, that
1 The rule was implemented specifically in response to a complaint against me.
2. The rule was not written in the county code.
3. The rule was not included in my warning letter nor in my citation.
4. The county had no expectation of ever applying this rule to any other resident in the future.
The judge declared the rule null and void.
61points
#3
A short one. The judge recused himself from a criminal case, publicly stating that he knew the defendant and he was a son of a b***h and guilty as hell.
56points
Perhaps the more compelling side of this story is the lawyers who act inappropriately in court. Some even get to unhinged levels in their behaviors, like when an Onondaga County family court lawyer allegedly threatened to shoot a judge in 2023.
Some of the legal professionals we spoke with also shared what they believed were some of the worst things a lawyer can do to blow a case. According to Kruse Law criminal and DUI lawyer Mike Kruse, one of them is failing to keep a clear strategy.
#4
Not a defendant, but there was this dude in the court I interned as who went in with his friend but wore a shirt with the exact color as the ones in group trials. The bailiff mistook him for a convict and was asking him to sit down.
"Hell naw man. I'm just here to see my friend. I ain't got no case. He was the one who got caught. I got away."
No. No he didn't get away.
"Hell naw man. I'm just here to see my friend. I ain't got no case. He was the one who got caught. I got away."
No. No he didn't get away.
56points
#5
My brother was on a jury back in the days of MySpace. A woman had been hit by a big rig during foggy weather. She was suing for a back injury. The last day of the trial they ask her if she has a MySpace account and brought up her site for the jury to see (I think all profiles were open then). There’s a picture of her dancing on the hood of a car and right next to it is a text exchange of her saying that she shouldn’t go out too much because her lawyer says that she has to look injured.
Needless to say, she lost that case.
Needless to say, she lost that case.
55points
#6
Not a legal professional, but I do have a good story on this topic.
Fifteen or so years ago, my Dad was the manager of a small hotel. One of the semi-regular customers was this big Samoan dude, who booked in for a day at a time, always had a few visitors, and always paid in cash, in a one-to-one conversion with American dollars - highly unusual in Australia.
Dad always said he was a great customer, very friendly with the staff, never gave anyone any problems, and always had a bit of a chat when he checked in.
One day a couple of detectives rocked up, and asked to speak to my Dad. They showed him a photo of the aforementioned customer, and asked if he was currently staying in the hotel. Dad confirmed that he was, and in a matter of minutes a small contingent of cops arrived, stormed the room and escorted the guy away in handcuffs. Turns out the guy was a pretty major d**g dealer, and was wanted in a couple of states.
Cut to the court date quite some time later. My Dad is in the witness stand, and (for whatever reason) the defense is trying to make out like my Dad didn't know the defendant, and had never seen him before. Obviously my Dad insisted that he *did* in fact know the defendant, but that line persisted from the defense.
As my Dad left the witness box, he walked past the defendant and said "Hi Barry", to which Barry enthusiastically replied, "Hi Jason, how are you?!". While I'm sure this wasn't the only thing that counted against him in the case, it certainly can't have helped.
He ended up getting quite a few years in jail.
(Names changed, obvs).
Fifteen or so years ago, my Dad was the manager of a small hotel. One of the semi-regular customers was this big Samoan dude, who booked in for a day at a time, always had a few visitors, and always paid in cash, in a one-to-one conversion with American dollars - highly unusual in Australia.
Dad always said he was a great customer, very friendly with the staff, never gave anyone any problems, and always had a bit of a chat when he checked in.
One day a couple of detectives rocked up, and asked to speak to my Dad. They showed him a photo of the aforementioned customer, and asked if he was currently staying in the hotel. Dad confirmed that he was, and in a matter of minutes a small contingent of cops arrived, stormed the room and escorted the guy away in handcuffs. Turns out the guy was a pretty major d**g dealer, and was wanted in a couple of states.
Cut to the court date quite some time later. My Dad is in the witness stand, and (for whatever reason) the defense is trying to make out like my Dad didn't know the defendant, and had never seen him before. Obviously my Dad insisted that he *did* in fact know the defendant, but that line persisted from the defense.
As my Dad left the witness box, he walked past the defendant and said "Hi Barry", to which Barry enthusiastically replied, "Hi Jason, how are you?!". While I'm sure this wasn't the only thing that counted against him in the case, it certainly can't have helped.
He ended up getting quite a few years in jail.
(Names changed, obvs).
48points
“When a lawyer fumbles on the critical points of law, overlooks a chance to impeach a witness, fails to frame the case so as to put his client in the best light, he virtually forfeits the case to the other side,” Kruse told Bored Panda.
Kruse provided a more specific example of when a defense counsel fails to address the most compelling evidence presented by the prosecution. According to him, the defense leaves the impression that they have not even considered the evidence at all, which ultimately weakens their client’s chances of winning the case.
#7
I had a client show up to court wearing the same dress she had on in the video showing her damaging her ex’s property...
Bonus. I had another client who was sleeping on a couch when his roommate invited the cops in. He was under a blanket so the cops asked him to stand up for their safety. D*****s stood up and a baggie of m**h fell out of his lap in to the ground. He had no idea how it got there.
I’m going to share some advice for all you fine folks. You don’t have to let the cops search your car or home. Seriously, tell them to pound sand. My crim defense prof had a door mat that said “come back with a warrant”. If they threaten to get a warrant, be nice and tell them you’ll wait. I love cops but too often they violate your constitutional rights and that c**p needs to stop.
Bonus. I had another client who was sleeping on a couch when his roommate invited the cops in. He was under a blanket so the cops asked him to stand up for their safety. D*****s stood up and a baggie of m**h fell out of his lap in to the ground. He had no idea how it got there.
I’m going to share some advice for all you fine folks. You don’t have to let the cops search your car or home. Seriously, tell them to pound sand. My crim defense prof had a door mat that said “come back with a warrant”. If they threaten to get a warrant, be nice and tell them you’ll wait. I love cops but too often they violate your constitutional rights and that c**p needs to stop.
47points
#8
Showed up to plead not guilty on a weed charge, while wearing shorts printed with pot leaves and a tshirt with a blunt on it.
41points
#9
It happened to a friend. He hired a lawyer to sue his university for charging a fee that he wasn't supposed to pay.
He discovered, at the very hearing, that his lawyer sued the wrong university.
He discovered, at the very hearing, that his lawyer sued the wrong university.
39points
A lawyer’s primary job is to build a case using logical arguments tied to solid evidence while trying to find holes in the opposing side’s evidence. Unfortunately, some professionals commit this crucial mistake, according to Martin Gasparian, owner and attorney at Maison Law Modesto.
“It's at that moment that you can conclude that the case has completely fallen apart,” he said.
#10
A funny historical one here.
Marshal Ney is on trial for treason after Napoleon gets overthrown for the second time. His lawyer desperately tries to save the Marshal's life with an unusual take on things; due to a border change, Marshal Ney's hometown was, at the time of the trial, in Prussia. Therefore, argued the lawyer, Marshal Ney was not technically French and accordingly could not be guilty of "treason".
Marshal Ney disagreed and shouted out to the court "I am French and I will remain French!". He was subsequently found guilty and sentenced to death.
This also has a double whammy with badass last words; he asked for and was given permission to *lead his own firing squad*.
His last words to them were: "Soldiers, when I give the command to fire, fire straight at my heart. Wait for the order. It will be my last to you. I protest against my condemnation. I have fought a hundred battles for France, and not one against her ... Soldiers, fire!"
Talk about a way to die!
Marshal Ney is on trial for treason after Napoleon gets overthrown for the second time. His lawyer desperately tries to save the Marshal's life with an unusual take on things; due to a border change, Marshal Ney's hometown was, at the time of the trial, in Prussia. Therefore, argued the lawyer, Marshal Ney was not technically French and accordingly could not be guilty of "treason".
Marshal Ney disagreed and shouted out to the court "I am French and I will remain French!". He was subsequently found guilty and sentenced to death.
This also has a double whammy with badass last words; he asked for and was given permission to *lead his own firing squad*.
His last words to them were: "Soldiers, when I give the command to fire, fire straight at my heart. Wait for the order. It will be my last to you. I protest against my condemnation. I have fought a hundred battles for France, and not one against her ... Soldiers, fire!"
Talk about a way to die!
38points
#11
I spent two days in jail many many moons ago. I ended up in the felony section. That was fun.
Anyhow, I met some pretty interesting characters. One such gentleman, I can't remember his name. Lets call him Bob.
There were about 4 of us in a cell and we're just shooting the s**t and discussing why everyone is in here.
Bob is back in jail. He is borderline r******d. Before this current situation, he was facing two felonies for...I don't remember. His lawyer eventually convinces the court that he can't stand trial because he is not mentally competent. They eventually let him go. What's the first thing he decides to do once he gets out of jail? Try to steal the first car he sees...in front of the court house which is adjacent to the jail. Didn't cross his mind that cops would be in and out of that area all the time.
He was back in jail probably 20-30 minutes after he got out, after beating two felonies. Oof!
Anyhow, I met some pretty interesting characters. One such gentleman, I can't remember his name. Lets call him Bob.
There were about 4 of us in a cell and we're just shooting the s**t and discussing why everyone is in here.
Bob is back in jail. He is borderline r******d. Before this current situation, he was facing two felonies for...I don't remember. His lawyer eventually convinces the court that he can't stand trial because he is not mentally competent. They eventually let him go. What's the first thing he decides to do once he gets out of jail? Try to steal the first car he sees...in front of the court house which is adjacent to the jail. Didn't cross his mind that cops would be in and out of that area all the time.
He was back in jail probably 20-30 minutes after he got out, after beating two felonies. Oof!
38points
#12
My father is an attorney and he always had a story for us when wed ask him this question. He tells it way better than I do but I'll give it a shot.
Some dude was allegedly smashing a wall with a sledgehammer with others in order to break into a private property. The cops rolled up, and hes the only one to get caught.
Fast forward a few months, and this guys in court. Apparently a cop says something about how, "the defendant was the only one caught, but there were two other men who fled on foot and couldn't be apprehended". My father's clients face lights up in an 'AHA!' Moment and immediately tells the judge, "not true, there were four of us!". I guess he thought if he could disprove someone that the said hed be let go. Safe to say he was found guilty of vandalism. My father says the judge just kind of sighed and told my father it would be a good idea to keep his client quiet.
Some dude was allegedly smashing a wall with a sledgehammer with others in order to break into a private property. The cops rolled up, and hes the only one to get caught.
Fast forward a few months, and this guys in court. Apparently a cop says something about how, "the defendant was the only one caught, but there were two other men who fled on foot and couldn't be apprehended". My father's clients face lights up in an 'AHA!' Moment and immediately tells the judge, "not true, there were four of us!". I guess he thought if he could disprove someone that the said hed be let go. Safe to say he was found guilty of vandalism. My father says the judge just kind of sighed and told my father it would be a good idea to keep his client quiet.
37points
So, do these lawyers face consequences if their actions result in their clients losing a case? Kruse says the erring attorney may face disciplinary action, even disbarment, if gross negligence is proven. But even without such sanctions, the effects of the fallout may be long-term.
“Their future clients will be afraid to invite such a lawyer, let alone the impact on the relations with colleagues and the legal environment,” he said.
#13
Lawyer was verbally running through the evidence against the guy he was defending, trying to claim there wasn't enough to even call a trial.
All totally fine, except he said, "I believe a more seasoned judge wouldn't have let this trial move forward." Not knowing that the judge he's speaking to gave the okay to move the trial to this court. He was immediately given a hard "motion denied.".
All totally fine, except he said, "I believe a more seasoned judge wouldn't have let this trial move forward." Not knowing that the judge he's speaking to gave the okay to move the trial to this court. He was immediately given a hard "motion denied.".
36points
#14
Lawyer here. When I had been licensed less than a year, I was representing a guy in a custody case. He was adamant that his ex was on d***s so I requested d**g testing. The judge said both parties had to be tested, which I had warned my client would likely be the Judge’s request. Mom tested clean, my guy tested positive for d***s. We did not win the case. Same guy also fell asleep during the hearing.
36points
#15
Defendant is apprehended for warrants, and asks judge for bail. Tells judge he moved and was not served with the warrants. Some question as to his identity. Judge asks Defendant where he was born - Def says "Puerto Rico." (Defendant totally looks Mestizo; not Puerto Rican at all) Judge asks "Where in Puerto Rico?" Defendant says "San Juan." Judge asks Defendant, "When were you last in San Juan?" Defendant says "A couple of years ago." Judge ask Defendant, "How did you get there?" Defendant replies, "I went on the Amtrak." Judge would not grant bail. When you flunk geography, it's for a long time.
35points
Gasparian says people can also take legal action against a negligent lawyer based on their failure to fulfill their duty of care. In turn, the erring legal counsel could face a legal malpractice case, which may also result in fines worth thousands of dollars.
Gasparian adds that malpractice cases are something most lawyers fear because they can significantly damage one’s reputation.
#16
I observed a case where the plaintiff attorney played Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror” as his closing argument to evoke an emotional response in the jury.
He lost.
He lost.
35points
#17
In court room where all they do is restraining orders. Everyone gets there at one time in he morning and sits in the chairs and judge calls the cases one by one. Dude purposely sits next to girl getting the restraining order against him and starts trying to hold her hand and s**t. She yells and asks for help and bro had to wait outside. When it was his turn, the judge was so mad he almost sent him to jail.
35points
#18
I was a divorce attorney in Los Angeles, CA for 16 years before I moved to Phoenix, AZ and started my own private practice.
Years ago in Cali, I had a client that was being divorced by her husband.
She was a smoking hot woman in her 20's, and he claimed she was being unfaithful so he divorced her, but he didn't have any evidence so I thought we had a pretty rock solid case and my client would get a decent share of his fortune, who worked in oil and gas and was worth millions.
During the trial, one of the bailiffs recognized my client and told the judge.
This is wear things got bad for us.
Turns out my client was a s*x a****t and doing pornography in the San Fernando Valley while she was married to her husband, and the bailiff embarrassingly recognized her from one of her videos online.
The judge reviewed the evidence in private in her chamber with me and his lawyer, and awarded my client nothing.
Years ago in Cali, I had a client that was being divorced by her husband.
She was a smoking hot woman in her 20's, and he claimed she was being unfaithful so he divorced her, but he didn't have any evidence so I thought we had a pretty rock solid case and my client would get a decent share of his fortune, who worked in oil and gas and was worth millions.
During the trial, one of the bailiffs recognized my client and told the judge.
This is wear things got bad for us.
Turns out my client was a s*x a****t and doing pornography in the San Fernando Valley while she was married to her husband, and the bailiff embarrassingly recognized her from one of her videos online.
The judge reviewed the evidence in private in her chamber with me and his lawyer, and awarded my client nothing.
35points
Prevention is always better than remedies, and knowing how to spot an inept lawyer before you start working with them would be ideal. According to tech entrepreneur and JustVerdict founder Adriana Herrera, a “handwavyy strategy” is one of them.
“If a lawyer cannot detail exactly how they will approach your case (e.g., deadlines, documents, cited case law), they are unlikely to win your case,” said Herrera, who founded her company after an unpleasant episode involving her aunt and a divorce lawyer.
#19
Not me, not a legal professional, but my brother's EMT instructor used to live in Chicago. This one's a two-for.
The instructor himself had had his license suspended for numerous traffic charges, including evading police. But forgot about his arraignment date until about an hour prior. So the guy hops on motorcycle and drives himself to the court. Remember this for later.
The dude in the court right before him is a hispanic guy. The judge reads off everything he's charged with and then the conversation goes like this:
Judge: "Mr. Gonzalez, how do you plead?"
Gonzalez: "No hablo ingles."
Judge: "Mr. Gonzalez, do you understand a word I'm saying?"
Gonzalez: "No hablo ingles."
Judge: "Mr. Gonzalez, am I to understand that, this whole time, no one has bothered to get a translator for you?"
Gonzalez: "No hablo ingles."
Judge: "Well... I guess, if you can't understand what you're charged with, we'll have to drop all the charges."
Gonzalez: "Gracias, señor." *starts walking out*
Judge: "Get back in here!"
After him, the instructor goes up, judge reads his charges, and then asks him how he got to the court that day.
Instructor: "Oh, my brother gave me a ride."
Judge: "Is that right?"
Instructor: "Yes, your honor."
Judge: *Looking at the Bailiff* "Do you have that footage from parking deck 3?"
He then proceeds to play CCTV footage of him showing up on the exact same bike that he was using for all when he ran from the cops. His license remained suspended and the judge told him he couldn't go anywhere near the bike during that time. There was even a cop standing next to it when he left.
The instructor himself had had his license suspended for numerous traffic charges, including evading police. But forgot about his arraignment date until about an hour prior. So the guy hops on motorcycle and drives himself to the court. Remember this for later.
The dude in the court right before him is a hispanic guy. The judge reads off everything he's charged with and then the conversation goes like this:
Judge: "Mr. Gonzalez, how do you plead?"
Gonzalez: "No hablo ingles."
Judge: "Mr. Gonzalez, do you understand a word I'm saying?"
Gonzalez: "No hablo ingles."
Judge: "Mr. Gonzalez, am I to understand that, this whole time, no one has bothered to get a translator for you?"
Gonzalez: "No hablo ingles."
Judge: "Well... I guess, if you can't understand what you're charged with, we'll have to drop all the charges."
Gonzalez: "Gracias, señor." *starts walking out*
Judge: "Get back in here!"
After him, the instructor goes up, judge reads his charges, and then asks him how he got to the court that day.
Instructor: "Oh, my brother gave me a ride."
Judge: "Is that right?"
Instructor: "Yes, your honor."
Judge: *Looking at the Bailiff* "Do you have that footage from parking deck 3?"
He then proceeds to play CCTV footage of him showing up on the exact same bike that he was using for all when he ran from the cops. His license remained suspended and the judge told him he couldn't go anywhere near the bike during that time. There was even a cop standing next to it when he left.
34points
#20
My grandfather was a big time lawyer back in the day for an oil company.
In one case, it was the federal government that blew the whole case. My grandpa showed up to court, and the first thing he said was that they didn't have jurisdiction. The judge was like " I'm a federal circuit court judge, the highest judge around. How can this be out of my jurisdiction?"
"The oil in question was drilled in Texas, refined into gasoline in Texas, and sold in Texas gas stations. Since it never crossed state lines, interstate commerce never happened so the federal government has no jurisdiction. "
The judge just said he was right, and closed the case. Pissed off the guys from Washington!
In one case, it was the federal government that blew the whole case. My grandpa showed up to court, and the first thing he said was that they didn't have jurisdiction. The judge was like " I'm a federal circuit court judge, the highest judge around. How can this be out of my jurisdiction?"
"The oil in question was drilled in Texas, refined into gasoline in Texas, and sold in Texas gas stations. Since it never crossed state lines, interstate commerce never happened so the federal government has no jurisdiction. "
The judge just said he was right, and closed the case. Pissed off the guys from Washington!
34points