M.A.T.H. is the dreaded Mental Abuse To Humans that we learn in school and probably spend half of our lives wondering why on earth we need to learn geometry. Okay, so all of our universe is based on mathematical equations and calculations, but, in my humble opinion, some things are better left unknown; the craniums might explode overloaded with thinking about the unknown.
However, there’s this interesting quality that human beings share—it’s to make something dreadful into something hilarious—a way to lessen the inevitable demons and tame them into jokes. Thus, we are gathered here to laugh right in the face of calculus and algebra by reading these funny math jokes and math memes.
These clever jokes that you are about to read will cater to both the needs of math connoisseurs and algebra beginners. For the experienced, we have jokes on the Mobius Strip and derision; for the latter, we have the one about numbers devouring each other and chickens crossing the street in a very calculated manner.
Turing’s machine also makes an appearance to keep things spicy, and if you know what it is, you might have just felt your curiosity piquing. After reading these hilarious jokes, you might also decide that math isn’t all so ghastly and wicked but rather quite amusing. Except when it’s time to take your math exam or to calculate how many gallons of paint you need for your bedroom remodeling plans.
Anyhoo, let’s check out the math jokes, shall we? Once you’ve subtracted, multiplied, and added a 1 to your choices for the best joke title, be sure to upvote them. Also, be kind to your neighbors by sharing this article that might just end their math-induced headaches with these hilarious jokes.
#1
Do you know what seems odd to me?
Numbers that aren’t divisible by two.
Numbers that aren’t divisible by two.
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#2
My girlfriend is the square root of -100. She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
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#3
I put my root beer in a square glass. Now it's just beer.
unknown
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#4
Who was the roundest knight at King Arthur’s table?
Sir Cumference.
How did he get so round?
He ate too many π’s.
Sir Cumference.
How did he get so round?
He ate too many π’s.
unknown
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#5
MATH stands for Mental Abuse To Humans.
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#6
Parallel lines have so much in common… It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
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#7
How do you make seven an even number?
Remove the S.
Remove the S.
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#8
What math problem do German students have trouble answering?
Do you know what the square root of 81 is? 9!
Do you know what the square root of 81 is? 9!
unknown
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#9
There are three people applying for the same job at a bank: a mathematician, a statistician, and an accountant. The interviewing committee asks the mathematician one question: “What is 500 plus 500?”. The mathematician answers “1,000” without hesitation, and they send him along. Next, they call in the statistician and ask the same question. He thinks for a moment and answers “1,000… I’m 95 percent confident.” When the accountant comes in, he is asked the same question: “What is 500 + 500?” He bows and replies, “What would you like it to be?” They hire the accountant.
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#10
A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician are sitting on a bench, watching people entering and leaving the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people enter the house; A while later, they watch three people leave the house. The physicist says, "The initial measurement wasn't accurate." The biologist counters, "They must have reproduced." Finally, the mathematician suggests, "If one more person enters the house, then it will be empty again."
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#11
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
To get to the same side.
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#12
Why was algebra so easy for the Romans?
X was always 10.
X was always 10.
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#13
Why did Pi get its driver’s license revoked?
Because it didn’t know when to stop.
Because it didn’t know when to stop.
unknown
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#14
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
unknown
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#15
Why was the equal sign so humble?
Because she knew she wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.
Because she knew she wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.
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#16
A clerk at the butcher shop is 6 feet tall and wears size 10 shoes. What does he weigh?
Meat. He works at the butcher’s shop.
Meat. He works at the butcher’s shop.
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#17
There are three kinds of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can’t.
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#18
When a statistician passes the airport security check, they discover a bomb in his bag. He explains. "Statistics shows that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. However, the chance that there are two bombs at one plane is 1/1000000. So, I am much safer..."
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#19
Why is 69 so scared of 70? Because once they fought, and 71.
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#20
Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?
It's two gross.
It's two gross.
unknown
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