To learn about what it takes to maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse, we contacted marriage & relationship coach Suzanne Venker. "The pillars of married life is a shared belief in marriage as an institution, being on the same team (particularly with respect to money, religion, parenting, and in-laws) and a genuine like (not just love) of the other person," the author of the forthcoming book, How to Get Hitched (and Stay Hitched): A 12-Step Program for Marriage-Minded Women, told Bored Panda.
If people have that, Venker believes they can withstand the biggest dangers to their married life: being competitive (or engaging in a power struggle, rather than being complementary by accepting how different men and women really are with their needs, thought processes, and behaviors) as well as the inability to accept the other person (or to accept that some things won't change), and the lack of respect on the part of the wife and lack of romance and tenderness on the part of the husband.
The share of U.S. adults who are currently married has declined from 58% in 1995 to 53% in 2019. Over the same period, however, the share of adults who are living with an unmarried partner has risen from 3% to 7%.
But according to the Pew Research Center, married adults have higher levels of relationship satisfaction and trust than those living with an unmarried partner (about six-in-ten married adults (58%) say things are going very well in their marriage; 41% of cohabiters say the same about their relationship with their partner).
Plus, married adults are also more likely than cohabiters to say they feel closer to their spouse or partner than to any other adult (about eight-in-ten married adults (78%) say they feel closer to their spouse than to any other adult in their life; a narrower majority of cohabiters (55%) say the same about their partner).
Suzanne Venker said that humor is also very important to a successful marriage. "Life is long and difficult. There are so many stressors in a marriage and without humor and playfulness, it will be a much harder road. And not nearly as fun," she explained. So I guess the people we see on the list are off to a great start!
