104 Funny “Conspiracies” That Won’t Hurt Anyone, But Might Change Your Mind

So many Men Have foot [desires] because their first partner was a sock

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them

People have been instructed to say “on accident” just to bug me. And they know it should be “by accident”! But they “could care less”, right?

The government paid for or otherwise boosted this tweet in order to de-legitimize the anti-government message of Rage Against the Machine

T.S. Eliot uses the S. so that his name isn't toilet backwards.
T. Eliot backwards is toilE .T

Geologists know about tastier rocks than salt, and are holding out on us. They are keeping the tastiest rocks for themselves

Since the conductor can't play the bassoon or the piccolo or whatever, all the real musicians feel sorry for him. Everyone agrees to let him stand there harmlessly and wave his arms while they play competently which they can obviously do anyway. Meanwhile the conductor is playing a giant playstation never knowing the controller is not plugged in. It's really sweet that the musicians keep telling him what a great job he is doing at playing Tchaikovsky and not laughing while he flings his limbs around like Ron Weasley with a broken wand.

Gender is a scam invented by bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Passport photos are deliberately made to look as bad as possible so you can be identified easily after a long haul flight.

Elf on the shelf was created by the government to make the younger generations desensitized to being constantly watched.

Existence is a scam made up by philosophers to sell more philosophy

Stephen Hawking’s time traveler party actually was attended, but to avoid any accidental paradoxes being created it was reported that nobody showed up.

Jar companies tighten their jars slightly more than the average woman's grip strength, to maintain the patriarchy

The TSA has figured out a long time ago how to detect liquid explosives in drink containers, we're not allowed to bring drinks into airports because the convenience stores in airports just want to be able to sell more overpriced drinks.

So, 23rd and 24th of September was supposed to be The Rapture, I'd imagine there are plenty of people disappointed to be waking up still on planet earth today.

They'll say "oh, we got it wrong" and "I'll definitely be raptured when it comes for real".

It was real, they're in denial. It's just that, of all the billions of people on this planet, not a single person was good enough to make the grade. Jesus checked the spreadsheet twice, there was a big red NOPE next to everyone.

I'm not normally one for conspiracy theories, but this is pretty compelling

We see it happen again and again, someone gets brain damage, they become conservative. What if Elon gave himself Neuralink, it obviously failed, and what we're left with is a dribbling moron. I mean, y'all saw that gif at the inauguration right? Where he's like, spinning in his own head? Something is severely wrong. Dude's brain is probably literally cooked.

No such thing as a coincidence...

There are aliens on Reddit using it to get a feel for what humans are like before invading

Alright so I've got a friend who is jewish and he never used to wear one, but I noticed he started losing some hair back there and he's suddenly started wearing one a lot more often. He claims he's just feeling closer to his religion but i don't buy it.

I reckon whoever invented them was balding and needed to make an excuse as to why he was wearing a hat and it got out of hand.