Do you remember the good old times in grade school when the teacher would ask you to write a fun limerick? If not, consider yourself lucky — I certainly do. A limerick is one of those poetic forms that can only be classified as torture for kids. It’s not like they’re actually bad, but they’re probably one of those things you can only really appreciate when you get older. In fact, as I grew up and started taking a genuine interest in writing, suddenly limericks didn’t sound awful anymore.
If you’re not sure what we’re talking about, here’s a quick refresher on how to write a limerick: they are humorous, five-line rhyming poems that usually keep a silly or absurdist tone. They follow an AABBA rhyme scheme, so the first, second, and fifth lines rhyme with one another, while the third line rhymes with the fourth.
Funny limericks are one of the most compact forms of poems. And writing one is also a great way to get started in poetry. They even make for a challenging writing exercise — once you get over the hump of coming up with an idea for one in the first place! If you’re unsure how to begin, let us show you some examples of limericks. These funny short poems, with their bouncy rhythm and absurd themes, may even get you chuckling!
#21
An amoeba named Max and his brother
Were sharing a drink with each other;
In the midst of their quaffing,
They split themselves laughing,
And each of them now is a mother.
Were sharing a drink with each other;
In the midst of their quaffing,
They split themselves laughing,
And each of them now is a mother.
unknown
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#22
A flea and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly, “Let us flee!”
“Let us fly!” said the flea
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly, “Let us flee!”
“Let us fly!” said the flea
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
unknown
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#23
What happens when you retire?
You really don't have to inquire -
No job and no phone
There's no place but home,
And your checkbook's about to expire!
You really don't have to inquire -
No job and no phone
There's no place but home,
And your checkbook's about to expire!
unknown
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#24
The star violinist was bowing;
The quarrelsome oarsmen were rowing.
But how is the sage
To discern from this page:
Was it piglets, or seeds, that were sowing?
The quarrelsome oarsmen were rowing.
But how is the sage
To discern from this page:
Was it piglets, or seeds, that were sowing?
unknown
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#25
An oyster from Kalamazoo
Confessed he was feeling quite blue.
For he said, “As a rule,
When the weather turns cool,
I invariably get in a stew.”
Confessed he was feeling quite blue.
For he said, “As a rule,
When the weather turns cool,
I invariably get in a stew.”
unknown
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#26
A painter, who lived in Great Britain,
Interrupted two girls with their knitting,
He said, with a sigh,
"That park bench, well I,
Just painted it, right where you're sitting."
Interrupted two girls with their knitting,
He said, with a sigh,
"That park bench, well I,
Just painted it, right where you're sitting."
unknown
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#27
I once had a gerbil named Bobby,
Who had an unusual hobby.
He chewed on a cord,
and now - oh my lord,
now all that's left is a blobby.
Who had an unusual hobby.
He chewed on a cord,
and now - oh my lord,
now all that's left is a blobby.
unknown
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#28
My ambition, said old Mr. King,
Is to live as a bird on the wing.
Then he climbed up a steeple,
Which scared all the people,
So they caged him and taught him to sing.
Is to live as a bird on the wing.
Then he climbed up a steeple,
Which scared all the people,
So they caged him and taught him to sing.
unknown
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#29
Is it me or the nature of money,
That's odd and particularly funny.
But when I have dough,
It goes quickly, you know,
And seeps out of my pockets like honey.
That's odd and particularly funny.
But when I have dough,
It goes quickly, you know,
And seeps out of my pockets like honey.
unknown
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#30
A mouse in her room woke Miss Dowd
She was frightened — it must be allowed.
Soon a happy thought hit her —
To scare off the critter,
She sat up in bed and meowed.
She was frightened — it must be allowed.
Soon a happy thought hit her —
To scare off the critter,
She sat up in bed and meowed.
unknown
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#31
A nifty young flapper named Jane
While walking was caught in the rain.
She ran - almost flew,
Her complexion did too,
And she reached home exceedingly plain.
While walking was caught in the rain.
She ran - almost flew,
Her complexion did too,
And she reached home exceedingly plain.
unknown
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#32
There was an old person of Fratton
Who would go to church with his hat on.
'If I wake up,' he said,
'With a hat on my head,
I will know that it hasn't been sat on.'
Who would go to church with his hat on.
'If I wake up,' he said,
'With a hat on my head,
I will know that it hasn't been sat on.'
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#33
I told him, "Get out of my place
You're an utter uncultured disgrace;
You're a simpleton loon.
Don't you know a good tune?"
Then he walloped me square in the face.
You're an utter uncultured disgrace;
You're a simpleton loon.
Don't you know a good tune?"
Then he walloped me square in the face.
unknown
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#34
No woodsman would cut a wood, would he
If woods would be woodless – nor should he.
Yet no woodcutter would
Cut a woody-wood wood
If no woodsmen cut woody woods, would he?
If woods would be woodless – nor should he.
Yet no woodcutter would
Cut a woody-wood wood
If no woodsmen cut woody woods, would he?
unknown
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#35
A forgetful old gasman named Dieter,
Who went poking around his gas heater,
Touched a leak with his light;
He blew out of sight —
And, as everyone who knows anything about poetry can tell you, he also ruined the meter.
Who went poking around his gas heater,
Touched a leak with his light;
He blew out of sight —
And, as everyone who knows anything about poetry can tell you, he also ruined the meter.
unknown
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#36
One Saturday morning at three
A cheesemonger’s shop in Paree
Collapsed to the ground
With a thunderous sound
Leaving only a pile of de brie.
A cheesemonger’s shop in Paree
Collapsed to the ground
With a thunderous sound
Leaving only a pile of de brie.
unknown
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#37
There was an old man of Peru,
Who dreamt he was eating his shoe.
He woke in the night,
With a terrible fright,
And found it was perfectly true.
Who dreamt he was eating his shoe.
He woke in the night,
With a terrible fright,
And found it was perfectly true.
unknown
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#38
A crossword compiler named Moss
Who found himself quite at a loss
When asked, 'Why so blue?'
Said, 'I haven't a clue
I'm 2 Down to put 1 Across.'
Who found himself quite at a loss
When asked, 'Why so blue?'
Said, 'I haven't a clue
I'm 2 Down to put 1 Across.'
unknown
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#39
To compose a sonata today,
Don't proceed in the old-fashioned way:
With your toes on the keys,
Bang the floor with your knees:
"Oh how modern!" the critics will say.
Don't proceed in the old-fashioned way:
With your toes on the keys,
Bang the floor with your knees:
"Oh how modern!" the critics will say.
unknown
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#40
There was a young lady named Perkins,
Who just simply doted on gherkins.
In spite of advice,
She ate so much spice,
That she pickled her internal workins'.
Who just simply doted on gherkins.
In spite of advice,
She ate so much spice,
That she pickled her internal workins'.
unknown
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