Do you remember the good old times in grade school when the teacher would ask you to write a fun limerick? If not, consider yourself lucky — I certainly do. A limerick is one of those poetic forms that can only be classified as torture for kids. It’s not like they’re actually bad, but they’re probably one of those things you can only really appreciate when you get older. In fact, as I grew up and started taking a genuine interest in writing, suddenly limericks didn’t sound awful anymore.
If you’re not sure what we’re talking about, here’s a quick refresher on how to write a limerick: they are humorous, five-line rhyming poems that usually keep a silly or absurdist tone. They follow an AABBA rhyme scheme, so the first, second, and fifth lines rhyme with one another, while the third line rhymes with the fourth.
Funny limericks are one of the most compact forms of poems. And writing one is also a great way to get started in poetry. They even make for a challenging writing exercise — once you get over the hump of coming up with an idea for one in the first place! If you’re unsure how to begin, let us show you some examples of limericks. These funny short poems, with their bouncy rhythm and absurd themes, may even get you chuckling!
#1
An elderly man called Keith,
Mislaid his set of false teeth.
They'd been laid on a chair,
He'd forgot they were there,
Sat down, and was bitten beneath.
Mislaid his set of false teeth.
They'd been laid on a chair,
He'd forgot they were there,
Sat down, and was bitten beneath.
unknown
Report28points
#2
There once was a runner named Dwight
Who could speed even faster than light.
He set out one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.
Who could speed even faster than light.
He set out one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.
unknown
Report25points
#3
There once was a man from the sticks
Who loved to compose limericks
But he failed at his sport
They were always too short...
Who loved to compose limericks
But he failed at his sport
They were always too short...
unknown
Report25points
#4
There was a young lady named Alice
Who was known to have peed in a chalice.
‘Twas the common belief
It was done for relief,
And not out of protestant malice.
Who was known to have peed in a chalice.
‘Twas the common belief
It was done for relief,
And not out of protestant malice.
unknown
Report23points
#5
A canner, exceedingly canny,
One morning remarked to his granny,
"A canner can can
Anything that he can;
But a canner can't can a can, can he?"
One morning remarked to his granny,
"A canner can can
Anything that he can;
But a canner can't can a can, can he?"
unknown
Report22points
#6
At times I’m so mad that I’m hopping.
My angriness sets my veins popping.
I yell and I curse,
With swear words diverse,
But my wife does much worse: she goes shopping.
My angriness sets my veins popping.
I yell and I curse,
With swear words diverse,
But my wife does much worse: she goes shopping.
unknown
Report20points
#7
A tutor who tooted a flute
Tried to teach two young tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor,
“Is it harder to toot, or…
To tutor two tooters to toot?”
Tried to teach two young tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor,
“Is it harder to toot, or…
To tutor two tooters to toot?”
unknown
Report19points
#8
A crafty young bard named McMahon
Whose poetry never would scan
Once said, with a pause,
“It’s probably because
I’m always trying to cram as many additional syllables into the last line as I possibly can.”
Whose poetry never would scan
Once said, with a pause,
“It’s probably because
I’m always trying to cram as many additional syllables into the last line as I possibly can.”
unknown
Report17points
#9
An elephant slept in his bunk,
And in slumber his chest rose and sunk.
But he snored - how he snored!
All the other beasts roared,
So his wife tied a knot in his trunk.
And in slumber his chest rose and sunk.
But he snored - how he snored!
All the other beasts roared,
So his wife tied a knot in his trunk.
unknown
Report17points
#10
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket
His daughter, named Nan
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.
Who kept all his cash in a bucket
His daughter, named Nan
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.
unknown
Report15points
#11
I need a front door for my hall,
The replacement I bought was too tall.
So I hacked it and chopped it,
And carefully lopped it,
And now the dumb thing is too small.
The replacement I bought was too tall.
So I hacked it and chopped it,
And carefully lopped it,
And now the dumb thing is too small.
unknown
Report15points
#12
"There's a train at 4:04," said Miss Jenny.
"Four tickets I'll take; have you any?"
Said the man at the door,
"Not four for 4:04,
For four for 4:04 is too many."
"Four tickets I'll take; have you any?"
Said the man at the door,
"Not four for 4:04,
For four for 4:04 is too many."
unknown
Report15points
#13
How to spell the potato has tried
Many minds, sometimes mine, I’ll confide.
Though it may have an eye,
There’s no E – don’t ask why!
Not until it’s been baked, boiled, or fried.
Many minds, sometimes mine, I’ll confide.
Though it may have an eye,
There’s no E – don’t ask why!
Not until it’s been baked, boiled, or fried.
unknown
Report14points
#14
I'd rather have Fingers than Toes,
I'd rather have Ears than a Nose.
And as for my Hair,
I'm glad it's all there,
I'll be awfully sad, when it goes.
I'd rather have Ears than a Nose.
And as for my Hair,
I'm glad it's all there,
I'll be awfully sad, when it goes.
unknown
Report14points
#15
There was a faith-healer of Deal,
Who said: "Although pain isn't real,
If I sit on a pin
And it punctures my skin,
I dislike what I fancy I feel.'
Who said: "Although pain isn't real,
If I sit on a pin
And it punctures my skin,
I dislike what I fancy I feel.'
unknown
Report14points
#16
My dog is really quite hip,
Except when he takes a cold dip.
He looks like a fool,
When he jumps in the pool,
And reminds me of a sinking ship.
Except when he takes a cold dip.
He looks like a fool,
When he jumps in the pool,
And reminds me of a sinking ship.
unknown
Report14points
#17
I'm papering walls in the loo
And quite frankly I haven't a clue;
For the pattern's all wrong
(Or the paper's too long)
And I'm stuck to the toilet with glue.
And quite frankly I haven't a clue;
For the pattern's all wrong
(Or the paper's too long)
And I'm stuck to the toilet with glue.
unknown
Report14points
#18
There once was an old man of Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all
And now he's a college professor.
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all
And now he's a college professor.
unknown
Report14points
#19
As 007 walked by
He heard a wee spider say, "Hi."
But shaken, he shot
It right there on the spot
As it tried to explain, "I'm a spi..."
He heard a wee spider say, "Hi."
But shaken, he shot
It right there on the spot
As it tried to explain, "I'm a spi..."
unknown
Report14points
#20
There was a young fellow of Crete
Who was so exceedingly neat.
When he got out of bed
He stood on his head
To make sure of not soiling his feet.
Who was so exceedingly neat.
When he got out of bed
He stood on his head
To make sure of not soiling his feet.
unknown
Report13points