When you were a kid, did you believe that MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This" was a warning to children not to play with hammers? Did you think that babies came out of your butt? Maybe you thought that the moon was made of ice and could only come out at night so that the sun wouldn't melt it? If you answered yes to any of these then this list is for you. Compiled by Bored Panda, this hilarious collection of weird and wonderful things that people believed when they were kids is sure to make you laugh. Believe us!
#61
When my dad said something cost "Fifty bucks" I thought he was trading deer for merchandise. I finally got curious and asked him if they were live bucks or dead ones, and where exactly was he keeping all these deer anyway.
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9points
#62
That the words on maps were actually giant letters in the sky.
They were not.
They were not.
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9points
#63
I always assumed Santa was a first generation Ukrainian immigrant with a drinking problem.
Turns out my parents just took me to the cheap mall.
Turns out my parents just took me to the cheap mall.
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9points
#64
I thought my dad was black... I went to a catholic school with all white people at the time. My dad was just a really tan white guy. The story of how I found out my dad was not black was great. It was MLK day and I told my mom "Mom, I am so happy for MLK because if it were not for him you and dad might not be together today." She then told me the truth. I was pretty shocked to say the least lol.
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9points
#65
When I was 8 I asked my dad if we could go to disneyland, he told me we didn't have enough money for it, so I suggested we go to the bank to get some. Thats when he had to explain he needs to put the money in before he can take it out. This notion seemed like madness to me, I couldn't figure out what the point of it was, though he did try to explain it to me...but at that moment I realized money doesn't magically come out of an ATM machine.
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9points
#66
You know how cigarettes come with health warnings on the box? Well, one of the warnings used to be "Cigarettes cause impotence", and since I was a kid and didn't know what "impotence" was, I assumed they just made a spelling mistake and meant to write "Cigarettes cause importance". I thought it meant that if you smoke cigarettes, it would make you more important. Which I thought weird, since being important is a good thing
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9points
#67
When I was 4 I overheard my mom talking to my dad about a doctor's appointment she had. I asked her if she was going to see Dr. Pepper, as I believed this was the only doctor there was.
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9points
#68
“I used to think that if a man touched a woman’s boobs she would get pregnant. Just automatically, as soon as she was touched, she started growing a fetus. Like, boob touch… POOF! Pregnant!”
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8points
#70
I thought that islands were actually land floating on the sea and that you could swim under them if you tried.
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8points
#71
I thought my food had feelings even after I ate it. So I'd constantly ask my parents "Will the food be happy in my tummy?" and I'd also "save it for later" because I didn't want the food to be mad at me. To be fair, it was primarily stuff like chicken & beef, not just fruits and vegetables haha. :p I'd also tell each bite "Goodbye here's a hug & a kiss." I was a weird kid.
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8points
#72
That if I ate watermelon seeds then drank water, a watermelon would grow inside of me.
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8points
#73
Not directly related to Santa Claus, but when I first heard of Cupid from classical mythology, I immediately thought of Cupid, one of Santa's reindeer. I figured they must be one and the same, since they're both mythological figures who can fly. When asked how this is possible, I explained that Cupid is an angel the rest of the year, but transforms himself into a reindeer at Christmastime. The other reindeer can do this too, but they tend to keep on the down-low because they're shy.
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8points
#74
I used to think that there were little people inside traffic lights who pressed buttons to make them change from green to yellow to red.
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8points
#75
“I used to think sex consisted of each person literally kissing each other’s butt cheeks.”
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7points
#76
“When I was younger, I thought that for some strange reason ‘spooning’ was putting a spoon up your partner’s butt to relieve constipation. My friends would talk about spooning and I would just visualize a cold spoon and shiver.”
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7points
#77
For a few weeks straight, I was absolutely convinced that I was the Wind God.
I had this blue fly swatter, and whenever I lifted it into the air the wind would blow. It was happening so consistently that I felt comfortable showing my friends my special power. Of course, it stopped working. Turns out it was just windy for a few weeks during fall, and I was not the Wind God.
I had this blue fly swatter, and whenever I lifted it into the air the wind would blow. It was happening so consistently that I felt comfortable showing my friends my special power. Of course, it stopped working. Turns out it was just windy for a few weeks during fall, and I was not the Wind God.
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7points
#78
I thought that languages were all just ciphers of each other. Like I thought it was possible to translate a word into any language by translating it one letter at a time.
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7points
#79
For some reason, I thought sealing air in a bag would result in a zero gravity environment.
My mom would pack my lunch in a plastic grocery bag and I vividly remember blowing air into the bag while I still had some food left in it and would wonder why my food wasn't floating around in the bag.
My mom would pack my lunch in a plastic grocery bag and I vividly remember blowing air into the bag while I still had some food left in it and would wonder why my food wasn't floating around in the bag.
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7points
#80
I remember asking my father why does the moon follow our car everywhere when we are driving at night
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7points