When you were a kid, did you believe that MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This" was a warning to children not to play with hammers? Did you think that babies came out of your butt? Maybe you thought that the moon was made of ice and could only come out at night so that the sun wouldn't melt it? If you answered yes to any of these then this list is for you. Compiled by Bored Panda, this hilarious collection of weird and wonderful things that people believed when they were kids is sure to make you laugh. Believe us!
#1
My dad was a manager at a local business and he would come home every few months talking about how he had to fire someone. In my four year old mind I pictured him taking bad employees to a small concrete structure in a remote location, putting them inside, and lighting them on fire. Had no idea it was just telling someone they can't work there anymore.
And somehow I was okay with my father being a serial killer, because Dad can do no wrong.
And somehow I was okay with my father being a serial killer, because Dad can do no wrong.
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68points
#2
As a kid I thought when a woman was getting chased by a bad guy on TV, I would think why won't the cameraman help her.
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63points
#3
“I thought that ‘your penis would grow’ meant I’d grow more penises [as I got older].
You have no idea what the drawings of my grandpa looked like.”
You have no idea what the drawings of my grandpa looked like.”
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48points
#4
That I was special and that someday I'd meet a girl who'd love me for me. Thanks a lot mom.
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47points
#5
That I was married to a family friend. I remember getting dressed up when I was about 3 and walking down the aisle with this girl. When I was 9 I learned that it was my cousin's wedding and that I was the ring bearer and she was the flower girl.
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47points
#6
That white people pooped white. I'm an African American, so maybe you can understand the confusion.
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46points
#7
“I thought you were pregnant the moment you had your period and the boy closest to you was the father. When I first got my period I was 9 and it was during Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I screamed all the way home because I thought Quasimodo made me pregnant and I was going to have an ugly baby.”
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44points
#9
Right around the time i began to hit puberty i got a pug. A few weeks after we got him, blonde hair began coming in all over my body. For awhile after that i was unbellieveably scared that i was slowly morphing into a pug. This also affected my relationship with the dog because as much as i loved him, i kept thinking to myself i dont know if i can turn into a pug for him. then we learned about puberty in health class and i realized that i wasnt turning into a dog.
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41points
#10
I used to think that people laughed into their remote controls and that's why we could hear people laughing on a television show.
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34points
#11
When I was a kid I thought dogs and cats were the same species; just dogs were male and cats were female. Blew my little 7 year old mind when my dog got pregnant!
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34points
#12
I thought that I was a secret-agent-alien with my own TV show for the people back on the "home planet". Kind of a sort of Exposing earthlings type thing. Every Saturday I would quite literally narrate my entire day, from morning to night, explaining how the Earth works and begging "them" to "please please please come and bring me back home soon". I did this until I was around 8, and my mother has most episodes of my TV show on tape.
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32points
#14
I thought that people with large butts just held their poop in for too long.
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31points
#15
When I was 4 my mom was 9 months pregnant with my brother and we got into a minor car accident that forced her into labor. So until about 3rd grade I thought you had to get into a car accident to have a baby.
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31points
#17
That adults had everything figured out. That when I got to college, I would miraculously know what it was I wanted to do with my life, find the perfect job after I graduated and maintain a stable group of amazing friends who helped me along the way.
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31points
#18
I spent my first 8 years in Russia where sex was a topic that was never discussed. As a result, I had no idea about it. I mean, none.
I thought that babies came as a result of liking someone a lot. I had a huge crush on some boy in my 1st grade class and at one point when I was constipated, I thought it was our child forming. I remember thinking, "oh no, I'm too young for this!"
I thought that babies came as a result of liking someone a lot. I had a huge crush on some boy in my 1st grade class and at one point when I was constipated, I thought it was our child forming. I remember thinking, "oh no, I'm too young for this!"
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30points
#19
I convinced myself that my saliva would work like a narcotic on chocolate easter bunnies, so they would't feel the pain of me eating them.
I made sure to lick their ears carefully, then wait a few seconds until the stupefaction set in before munching them down.
I made sure to lick their ears carefully, then wait a few seconds until the stupefaction set in before munching them down.
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30points
#20
“I spent a pretty long time thinking gay sex was when two men stabbed at each other with their penises, sword-fighting style. Boy, was I wrong.”
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29points