Bored Panda
86 Times Fortune Cookie Sayings Were Too Sassy To Handle
FunnyFEB 15, 2018

86 Times Fortune Cookie Sayings Were Too Sassy To Handle

232
5
When you see a fortune cookie, it’s not the cookie you’re craving; it’s the fortune. There are plenty of baked goods out there, but how many also act as a fortune teller or pretend to be one? On the other hand, is there a better fortune teller and hidden message carrier than a tasty one? Some of these fortune cookie messages, however, are so surprising they catch people completely off-guard. 
Bored Panda has compiled a list of some of the funny fortune cookie sayings found by stunned customers to prove that Confucius isn’t behind all of them. From rude insults to questionable dares, the people who had the weird luck of discovering a funny fortune cookie definitely had a hard time swallowing them. Scroll down to read the hilarious list!

#1 He Sat And Watched Me Eat Chinese Take-Out For Half An Hour. Then This Happened

He Sat And Watched Me Eat Chinese Take-Out For Half An Hour. Then This Happened
Report
276points

#2 Definitely The Scariest Fortune Cookie I've Ever Gotten

Definitely The Scariest Fortune Cookie I've Ever Gotten
Report
245points

#3 Didn't Expect My Fortune Cookie To Be So Insightful

Didn't Expect My Fortune Cookie To Be So Insightful
211points

#4 Best Fortune I Have Ever Got In A Fortune Cookie

Best Fortune I Have Ever Got In A Fortune Cookie
Report
189points

#5 Fortune Cookie

Fortune Cookie
Report
187points

Fun Trivia About Fortune Cookies

There are several theories about the origin of fortune cookies. One such theory claims that fortune cookies are a purely American invention started by a  Chinese (or Japanese) restaurant on the West Coast in the early 1900s. Some state it comes from Chinese history; Chinese rebelling patriots used to pass hidden messages in pastry to avoid getting caught. Others say it copies the Japanese tsujiura senbei (rice crackers with notes inside) treat.

China tried to popularize fortune cookies but it never caught on. Today, the biggest manufacturer of fortune cookies, Wonton Food, is located in New York and has been operating since 1973.

#6 My Wife And I Received Matching Fortunes At Dinner This Evening

My Wife And I Received Matching Fortunes At Dinner This Evening
Report
184points

#7 My Ironic Fortune Cookie

My Ironic Fortune Cookie
165points

#8 My Coworker Just Came Back From Sick Leave; He Had A Heart Attack. To Celebrate We Went For Chinese. These Were In His Fortune Cookie

My Coworker Just Came Back From Sick Leave; He Had A Heart Attack. To Celebrate We Went For Chinese. These Were In His Fortune Cookie
Report
156points

#9 Take That Big Step

Take That Big Step
unknown
Report
150points

#10 My Wife's And My Fortune Cookies. Hers Is On Top

My Wife's And My Fortune Cookies. Hers Is On Top
Report
144points

#11 Just When I Thought I Got A Good Fortune Cookie

Just When I Thought I Got A Good Fortune Cookie
Report
125points

#12 Don't Expect Much From A Cookie

Don't Expect Much From A Cookie
unknown
Report
122points

#13 Well Screw You Too Fortune Cookie

Well Screw You Too Fortune Cookie
Report
121points

#14 My Wife And I Also Got Some Fortune Cookies

My Wife And I Also Got Some Fortune Cookies
113points

#15 This Was In My Fortune Cookie Last Night... Should I Call Somebody Or?..

This Was In My Fortune Cookie Last Night... Should I Call Somebody Or?..
113points

#16 Faster Than The Bear

Faster Than The Bear
unknown
Report
111points

#17 Two Fortunes In One Cookie - Aaaaand I'm Offended

Two Fortunes In One Cookie - Aaaaand I'm Offended
96points

#18 When A Fortune Cookie Finally Speaks Up

When A Fortune Cookie Finally Speaks Up
95points

#19 I Think This Wins The 'Worst Fortune Cookie Of All Time' Award

I Think This Wins The 'Worst Fortune Cookie Of All Time' Award
Report
90points

#20 I Think My Fortune Cookie Just Threatened Me

I Think My Fortune Cookie Just Threatened Me
82points

Who Writes Funny Fortune Cookie Sayings?

If you want to make a prediction found in a fortune cookie funny, you need a master of the craft. Surprisingly, the author of funny fortune cookie quotes for Wonton Food isn't a professional writer. Donald Lau is the company’s chief financial officer, and according to his interview with CNN, he was given this job when the company was still small and he spoke the best English among all the employees.

He proved to have a great sense of humor and was the sole fortune cookie message writer for over 30 years. In his own words, Lau doesn’t see his fortunes as real predictions. They are just a fun way to finish a meal at a Chinese restaurant. Nevertheless, in his messages, Lau tries to combine humor with ancient Chinese traditions.

232
5