Don't you even pretend that you've never used a fake excuse to leave work early, end a date, or justify why you haven't done your homework. And while some perhaps use somewhat believable work excuses for being late, such as being stuck in traffic when you simply wanted to get some extra Zzzs, some reasons can get pretty... ridiculous.
While some funny fake excuses may be believable to some level, sometimes, reasons to skip work get so outlandish that they surprise even the ones who have heard it all, aka the HR department. The most ridiculous, stupid excuses people have come up with just show the power of human imagination. However, the dilemma with funny excuses is that if the reason is legit (because sometimes you really do get drunk by accident), do you say the actual cause or come up with a more plausible explanation? Just some food for thought.
However, this is not it if you are looking for a list of excuses to help you pull off a sickie or bulletproof excuses to get out of work. Below, we've compiled a list of funny excuses for missing work that likely were a little too far-fetched and didn't assure a day off. Have you ever used a fake reason to skip work? Or perhaps you work in HR and hear the lamest excuses to get out of work regularly? Let us know!
#81 Guess Who Skipped Breakfast Again
My mom didn’t give me breakfast so I waited till lunch time.
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#82 Guess Who’s Spoiler Alert
I think I’ll be coughing today.
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#83 Why am I the snack?
I got bitten by a mosquito.
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#84 Trust me, you don’t wanna know
It’s a secret. If I tell you, you’ll be in grave danger.
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#85 Well, that escalated quickly
My (soon-to-be-ex) wife is burning all of my possessions on the front lawn.
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#86 I Can’t Be the Only One This Happened To
An employee called in sick because he ate cat food instead of tuna and was deathly ill.
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#87 Plot twist: dentures on the loose
An employee’s false teeth flew out the window while driving down the highway.
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#88
An employee was experiencing traumatic stress from a large spider found in her home and had to stay home to deal with it.
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#89 Microwaving clothes: hazard unlocked
An employee caught their uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry.
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#90 Well, that took a dark turn
An employee’s dead grandmother was being exhumed for a police investigation.
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#91 Wait, I Thought I Was Just Visiting
An employee forgot he had been hired for the job.
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#92 Well, that’s one way to stay put
The employee insisted he’d locked himself in his house by mistake and that the house did not have any windows to crawl out of.
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#93 Chasing Beavers: What Could Go Wrong?
An employee hurt his back chasing a beaver.
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#94 When your lashes have their own agenda
An employee’s fake eyelashes were stuck together.
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#95 Plot Twist: Wrong Job, Right Address
An employee accidentally drove to their former employer’s location even though they haven’t worked there for five years.
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#96 Well, this is a new level of stuck
The bus broke down and the driver wouldn’t let me off.
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#97 School’s Out, Sweat In
It’s too hot today. Schools remain shut during hot summer days.
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#98 Guess I’m calling in sick forever
Jack Duckworth died in Corrie last night and I’m in no fit state to face work.
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#99 When Moisturizer Becomes a Gas Station Hazard
I went to get petrol but I couldn’t get the cap off because my hands are too moisturized, so I had to call my boyfriend to come and do it for me.
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#100 Wait, did someone just spike my vibe?
I think I’ve been spiked.
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