50 Of The Most Embarrassing Things That Kids Have Ever Said In Public

Friend's son, 5 years old, pointed at a Muslim women in the mall wearing full garb (including face) and shouted, "Mom, a ninja!"

On our way to watch my daughter play soccer, my son was asking me about how babies were made. So I told him all about the sperm and they egg and so on. He seemed to reflect deeply about what I had said. Get to soccer and we sit among all the other parents and he blurts out "Dad, is your sperm still inside me?" I almost fucking died.

Took my kids to see Puss and Boots, and when lights dimmed and Puss appeared on the screen, my middle son screamed, 'It's pussy time!' The whole theater was cracking up — I laughed so hard I cried.

My daughter once asked a black guy why he was made of chocolate. I was incredibly embarrassed. He thought it was hilarious.

When I was 5 or 6 we were at my Dad's company picnic. I was introduced to his boss and I told him, "My Daddy says you're a son of a bitch." My Dad's co-workers fed me ice cream all afternoon.

When my daughter was two and asking about the anatomical differences between herself and her baby brother, I taught her the proper terms and that women and girls had vaginas and vulvas and boys and men had penises and testicles. Whilst browsing through Kohl's that holiday season (store was PACKED), she loudly exclaimed as she pointed to ever stranger we passed "BOY! Penis and tentacles!" "GIRL! Gyyyyyynah and Volvo!" Lather rinse repeat. The kicker was the androgynous cashier. She asked "Boy or girl?". The cashier was a trooper and smiled "Girl, sweetie." Kid proudly screams back "Gyyyyynah and VOLVO!"

When I was pregnant with my youngest daughter we explained to my older daughter that mommy has a baby in her belly and daddy put it there. Well she always wants to be just like mommy so she started going around telling people she has a baby in her belly and her daddy put it there..... you can imagine the looks I got.

Three-year-old daughter Madeleine said very loudly in public toilets: ''Mummy, why do you have a beard on your bottom"

My three year old daughter will yell "LOOK DADDY! A GANGNAM STYLE!" whenever she see's an Asian man.

Daughter was rubbing my face with a small football earlier, she thought it was funny so I let her carry on. Later on we were in a restaurant when out of nowhere she gives it "I gave my daddy a ball massage before".
We didn't stay for dessert.

My son was feeling really badly about pooping his pants, so to make him feel better I told him that it happens to everyone, even mommy. The next day we walked in to daycare and told the lead teacher “Yesterday I pooped my pants, but mom said it was ok; it happens to her all the time.”

I was dating a guy back when my son was maybe 7-8 years old. I picked him up from the airport one night and brought my son with me. While we were driving home the three of us started playing the game "raise your hand if you've ever..." 5 minutes in, my son blurts out "raise your hand if you've ever clogged up the toilet with a big pile of poop like my mom did today".

My 4-year-old son felt the need to warn "old" people they will die ... he told a lady in the grocery, "Old people die ... and you don’t look so good"

I was the kid (sorry.) My mom is obese, and she always used to sigh, "I'm the fattest woman in the world," when she looked in the mirror. Being about four, I took this literally. One day we were in K-Mart, and I saw this REALLY huge woman in a mumu. I freaked out, pointing and yelling, "LOOK MOMMY! YOU'RE NOT THE FATTEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD, SHE IS!!"

My daughter is obsessed with body parts. Especially vaginas and penis' and she often asks strangers, "do you have a penis or a 'gina?"

That's not the awkward part.

She was sitting on her dad's lap at church and one of the old ladies who sits near us said, "Oh, you're sitting so nicely on your daddy's lap! You must really like your daddy being here!" (She said this because my husband works A LOT so it's very rare that he is actually able to come to church with us) my daughter said, "I'm not sitting on his lap. I'm sitting on his penis. Do you want to sit on my daddy's penis someone?"

When pregnant with our second child we told our first, three years old at the time, that mommy's belly was so big because there was a baby in there.
At a restaurant a couple days later a heavy-set woman walks by our table. Daughter shouts, "Look mom! That lady had a baby in her butt!"

When I was around 3 years old my dad told me that smoking was bad, and that only idiots smoke. A couple days later we walked past a smoking woman. I remembered what my dad had told me, and I said with the loudest voice possible:
"Dad, look at that idiot over there smoking cigarrettes!"

During my divorce, while the kids and I were at Walmart buying groceries, I put a bottle of wine in my cart and my daughter yells, “Oh, look, Mom’s sad again.”

My daughter at the tender age of 8 announced to a crowded room that when she grows up she wants to be a prostitute!
Turns out she meant prosecutor but, you know, it took a while

My 6-year-old daughter had her appendix out. When the stitches were removed, there was a catheter in her abdomen, sticking up. She looked down and proudly announced: “Goodbye appendix, hello penis!”