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DEDDDDDDDD.
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The thing is, when these “fails” happen, they can haunt us constantly. Let’s try to understand what goes on in our brain when we are embarrassed. Research suggests that although no brain area has been identified as the center of embarrassment, the frontal lobes (particularly the orbitofrontal region) appear to link embarrassment to the regulation of appropriate social behavior.
Patients who sustain damage to this region may experience embarrassment. Yet behaviors that would embarrass most of us often seem to cause them no chagrin at all. For that reason, they may disclose more intimate information than others and tease strangers in ways most people would find overly familiar, the research adds.
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Meanwhile, psychologists believe that embarrassment is a painful but important emotional state. It makes people feel bad about their social or personal mistakes as a form of internal or societal feedback, helping them learn not to repeat the error.
They stress that the accompanying physiological changes, including blushing, sweating, or stammering, may signal to others that a person recognizes their own error and is not cold-hearted or oblivious.
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While we all experience embarrassing fails in life, some people are more affected by humiliation. Especially folks with social anxiety can be more sensitive to it. This emotion can also have a darker side: some people go to extreme lengths to avoid the possibility of embarrassment. In fact, they might take risks, or put others at risk, just to avoid a humiliating moment, which isn’t really a good thing.
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Licensed psychotherapist Lena Derhally told PsychCentral that if someone has a strong inner critic, the feelings of embarrassment and shame are quite pervasive and constant. Meanwhile, someone with a weaker inner critic can laugh and shrug things off much more easily.
Where the inner critic stems from is more complex, explains Derhally. She adds that it may be a combination of personality traits, such as being uptight, rigid, or perfectionist, and environmental factors.
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My heart flutters even thinking about it.
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It’s also important to talk about how the embarrassment that we feel after such “fails” can actually hamper our mental health. Experts at The Goodtherapy Blog explain that a single embarrassing event can undermine a person’s confidence and self-worth. Some people who experience public humiliation may mentally replay the event over and over, feeling a renewed sense of embarrassment each time.
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They also point out that the “spotlight effect,” or overestimating how much others noticed one’s error, may increase embarrassment or keep it from fading.
“Significant or repeated instances of embarrassment may be a contributing factor in the development of health concerns such as anxiety or depression. Chronic negative thought patterns and a lowered sense of self-worth could also potentially lead to concerns such as disordered eating, social isolation, or in some cases, acts of personal harm,” they note.
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